You Know I Still Get Lost in Your Eyes

I let out a slow sigh slip through my lips, cupping a small amount of water in my hand and letting it drip down from my fingertips and land onto Kade’s hair. Her small body sat in front of me, staring at her small hands completely submerged in the soapy bath water with a blank expression drawn on her face. I frowned slightly, dropping my hand into the water once more and raising it above her head, letting it drip back into her hair once more. We hadn’t spoken a word since leaving our house, I understood Kade’s silent though, she did just watch the man she adored the most in her entire life, hit her mother dead in front of her. I could imagine her being confused and terrified at the same time at the whole encounter, I blink slowly pushing Kade’s brown hair behind her ear.

A soft knock on the door brings both of our attention to it and I glance over when the door opens, while Kade goes back to staring at her hands. Ryan comes into my view, his hand held over his eyes while his other guided him into the bathroom, clutching two heavy towels as well. “I got towels” He told us in his calm voice, setting them on top of the toilet seat cautiously before turning his back to us, making me smile. He stops in front of the cracked door and cleared his throat, “There’s pizza on the counter, your clothes are in the guest room, if you don’t have enough clothes the guys and I could go back and get some more” I nodded, but then remembered that he couldn’t see me and responded in a small tone. “T-thanks… Ryan. You really have no idea what this means to me” He chuckled under his breath lightly and told me in a sincere voice. “It’s nothing Toni. You’re like the little sister I never had and you know we all love you Toni.” I smiled and nodded, clearing my throat once more letting the awkward silence shower over us.

Until Ryan nodded his head lightly, tossing out over his shoulder “We’ll see you, when you come out” before he let himself out. I nodded once more and glance back over towards Kade, who was now resting her back on my chest. I smile lightly and shake her shoulder making her look up at me, “You ready to get out, Ladybug?” She glanced down at her hands and nod slightly.

I run the comb through her hair gently, over and over again. While she continues to stare down at her coloring book, the images of happy smiling faces were left white. She twirled the crayon over and over again between her fingers, probably debating to herself what she was going to color I thought. But instead she sat it down the purple crayon she cradled in her hand and picked up the bright red crayon instead. Staring over at the magazine beside her blankly, which held Framing Hanley’s photo on the cover.

Kenneth’s bright and shinning face illuminated with pure happiness, this was probably a few weeks ago before all this took place. Kade stared at the picture long and hard, before snatching it and dragging her crayon over Kenneth’s face over and over again letting out a frustrated yelp. I jumped startled and drop the brush, grabbing her arm while ripping the magazine from her tight grasp. Bringing her into a loving embrace as she erupted into tears. I wrapped my arms tighter around her and let out a shuddering breath.

“Hate” She muttered the word out so simply, and I looked down at her and hugged her closer. “Hate, da” The tears sprung up in my eyes and I shook my head, making her look at me while telling her in a strangled tone. “Kade, no matter what happens. I want you to never ever in your entire life, say that okay. I know what we’re going through is the worst right now, but please lady bug whatever happens. Don’t ever hate your daddy okay? He is just sick right now and he needs help.” I nodded my head, convincing myself as well maybe a little more than her. “He loves you so much, and it would literally kill him inside and out if he heard you say that” she looked down, her bright brown eyes looking away from mine guilty. I sigh and wiped a stray tear that had managed to slide down my cheek off with a single finger. I leaned over and pecked her lips lightly. “Now, let’s go eat ladybug, the pizza bugs are calling”