You Know I Still Get Lost in Your Eyes

Mrs. Bishop wasn’t tall for 23 and she had long jet black hair that stopped in curls at her shoulders. Her eyes were a stone- washed grey. Her personality seemed like she cared but deep inside I knew she was laughing at me, she was better than me and we both knew it. My jaw dropped “…I’m…what?” Mrs. Bishop smiled “Yes 8 months. To be exact” That answered so much, that entire month of throwing up and getting weird cravings all made sense now. My eye darted towards the ground, “What am I….what am I gonna do?” I asked taking deep shuddering breaths. Kenneth was done with me and so was Ashton, I can barely take care of myself, how can I take care of another human being? Mrs. Bishop sighed slightly “Well it’s early enough to have an abortion... or when it gets older you could put it up for adoption”

I just stared at my clenched fist, feeling the nails slowly break through the skin. There was a slight knock on the door and Mrs. Bishop opened it slowly. “Is this Toni Anderson’s room” A southern voice asked but I didn’t bother to look up. I already knew who it was. “Yes this is… and you are?” Kenneth cleared his throat as he glanced at me “I’m Toni’s boyfriend”. Mrs. Bishop smiled flirty at Kenneth and widened the door so he could walk in, without me fully realizing it I looked up and stared deeply into his dark brown eyes. He walked in his hands in his pockets; his glaze was mixed with sympathy, love, and apologies.

Mrs. Bishop smiled kindly “I’ll leave you two alone for a while” She took one long last look at Kenneth then at me and walked out shutting the door behind her and shaking her head. My eyes glanced away towards the window as he said softly “Hey” I couldn’t look at him without crying all over again, I was done crying. “Hey” He sighed and sat at the edge of my hospital bed “Do…. Do you feel any better?” I nodded slowly as he leaned closer, turning my head towards him with his hand, making me glaze into his dark eyes. I tried to turn away again but he stopped me “Toni… look at me” and I did his eyes searching my face. I glazed into those worried- stricken eyes and remembered those eyes glaring at me not to long ago with disgust.

He pressed his lips together and said in a strangled whisper “I know about the baby” My face splashed with shame but he wouldn’t let me turn away any more, he hesitated at his next question I watched as his eyes darted away then met back with my glaze.

“Is it…” He stopped and took a deep breath “Is it mine?” I nodded as his face brightened up. “Oh god that is so good, I did not want you raising Ashton’s bastard child” I gave him a shocked and angry expression “Why are you smiling like that? I’m a slut remember?” His hand dropped as his eyes darted away from me “look, I’m sorry about that Toni. You know I didn’t mean anything I said. It’s just that Levi was your best friend so I just thought you told her that stuff” I shook my head and glanced down at my hands ringing the sheets tightly, “I hate that lying bitch” I chocked on my words, I should have known she was a bitch from the start.

He smiled wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his warm embrace, “Don’t worry about it because I love you…and Toni?” I pulled back and played with his fingers one by one “yes Mr. Nixon?”

Using his other hand he reached deep inside his pocket and pulled out an emerald green ring, making me stop and stare wide-eyed at him. “Will you…marry me?” Tears of happiness spilled down my face as I nodded, watching as he slipped the ring on my wedding hand. I smiled and hugged him hard “I love you” He laughed and said sweetly “I love you more”. He pulled back and glazed into my eyes again, both of us smiling. Then he leaned over again and kissed me. The kiss was gentle and soft, I wrapped my arms around his neck while his hands rested lightly on my hips, and his hands went up to my face cradling it lightly, deepening the kiss and the love between us.