Young and Pregnant

For about the next several hours, Alec's mind went blank. Cassandra wanted hers to as well. Their head's had been filled with nothing but chaos and stress ever since they were informed of the infant growing in Cassandra's womb, but after awhile it all just faded away for Alec. Engaging his thoughts in so much worry was doing him no good.

But the mind of Cass remained as insane and shocked as it had ever been.

After their little chat on the street, Summer had kindly invited Cass into her home for a bit of hot tea to ease her nerves a bit.

"Tea," Cass thought to herself as she stumbled up the steps to the front porch. "How classic. Cliche, but appreciated nonetheless."

She threw her body onto an over-stuffed leather chair, while Summer's words kept floating through her head. "I fucked and now I'm fucked. I fucked and now I'm fucked. As insensitive as it sounds, it's amazing how well it sums up my situation," she thought.

Cass just sat and stared out the window while Summer rummaged about in the kitchen preparing their tea. Without changing her gaze, Cass randomly just blurted out, "Am I a terrible person? Am I bad for wanting to abort this child? I'm I bad for feeling sorry for myself?"

All of her emotions of fear, anxiety, stress, sadness, and self loathing suddenly just turned into pure guilt. It was her own fault she became pregnant. She was too naive to use protection. It was her own fault that her plans for the future were jeopardized by this unborn child.

"It makes you human," Summer replied. "It's in our nature to feel pity for ourselves. Sad, but true. I've known you for only about fifteen minutes, Beauty Queen, so I'm not sure I'm in position to judge whether you're a good person or a bad one."

Cass sighed and sunk deeper into her chair. She thought about what she had said earlier about "what a bitch fate is." Was fate really responsible?

Summer strolled over to the coffee table that was between Cass and a tattered old couch, where little Baby Robert squirmed about. She set two mugs of tea and a plastic cup of milk on the coffee table. Cass picked up a mug and held it up, just breathing in the steam.

They sat in silence for a few seconds as Summer brought the cup of milk to her child's face, and attempted to help him drink it without spilling. Cass just watched on in fascination. "In less than a year, will this be my life?" she wondered in her head. She had never disliked children, she wasn't like that at all, but she just had never thought of herself as a very motherly person. When dreaming about the future, her focus had always been her career in journalism and an advocate for womens' rights. She never thought about children. She wasn't opposed to the idea of having them, but she just didn't take it into consideration. This fact alone probably made the realization of her pregnancy all the more shocking. She was so unprepared.

"So," Summer interrupted Cass's thoughts. "Your boyfriend won't let you abort it, eh? What's his plan? Is he the reliable type? Think he'll support you and the child financially and all? 'Cause let me tell ya, when you have a child to support, money is tight, to say the least."

Cass let out another sigh. Money. She hadn't really thought all that hard about it. Surely if worst came to worst her wealthy parents would support their grand child, right?

"I don't think lack of financial support is going to be major issue," she said. "It's lack of emotional support I'm more worried about. He's joining the military. Leaving me soon. Leaving me and our unborn infant."

"No kidding," said Summer. "That's quite a pickle you two are in."

"A pickle, indeed," Cass muttered with a smirk. She could tell that Summer meant well, but something about her just seemed cold.

Cass flashed her glance to the digital clock on a faded, stained microwave oven. It was already nine p.m. Where had the day gone?

"Thanks a lot for the tea and for listening to me vent. But I think I'd better get going."

"Hey Cassandra," Summer called as Cass walked out the door. It was the first time she didn't address her as "Beauty Queen."

"Yeah?" Cass replied.

"If you ever need to vent again, or you're looking for some advice or sympathy and what not, don't hesitate to knock on my door. I know we just met, but I've been in a very similar situation before. So I'm happy to help," said Summer.

"Thanks, Summer," said Cass. "I appreciate that." And she really did.

Cass fumbled down the sidewalk as she headed home. On a whim, she decided to take a different route. She headed down a street that eventually lead her into the down-town part of Morgan Oak.

Thoughts just kept running through her head.
Options, options, options. Decisions, decisions, decisions.

"Is abortion one-hundred-percent out of the question? Could I maybe put this child up for adoption? Would Alec and my parents be okay with that? My parents. Maybe they could they raise it?"

Cass chuckled at the irony of that last thought. Her parents would never be keen on raising the child of their irresponsible teenage daughter. It went against their morals.

"I'll just leave the baby on some random fucker's doorstep for Christ's sake!" Cass exclaimed. That had intended to be a thought, but somehow managed to escape her lips. A couple of people on the other side of the street stared at her in confusion. She fought the urge to give them the finger. She was being stupid and selfish again.

She then plopped herself down on the grass and continued to think. She lay herself down and looked up, and just then realized where she was. She was right next to the local clinic where abortions were sometimes performed. What were the odds? How unlikely was it that she unintentionally ended up there?

Cass was, for the most part, a pretty tolerant person. She wouldn't qualm someone for getting an abortion, as she firmly believed that it was a personal decision. But was it the right decision for her?

She thought really hard about it. About how Alec and her family might react to it. She knew Alec was opposed, but it was her body, not his. She even considered how things might play out if she got an abortion and claimed she had a miscarriage. No. That was out of the question. She couldn't live with being that dishonest.

Finally, pretty much simultaneously, she declared that an abortion was not going to happen. Her baby's future was pretty much a mystery, but it was decided that it would have a future. In that brief moment, the final decision was made.

She collected herself and started back towards her house, somehow feeling a little bit better. A little bit empowered.

As she headed up the sidewalk to her home, a little bit of rain began to sprinkle. It wasn't the type of rain that would bring her down more, it was just a light sprinkle of moisture that actually calmed her. The chaos in her head started to fade too. As shitty of a situation she was in, she began to feel that things would still be okay in the end. She got this feeling that it would all work out. Perhaps that was just her naive side kicking in again, but the thought was pleasant, nonetheless.