Fear Itself

****************
Brendon waved his hand over his band mate’s face, “Hello! Spencer. You in there?”

Spencer was brought back to reality and stopped looking at the woman at the counter and over to Brendon, “What?”

Brendon started to chuckle, “You stare at her any harder and you’re going to burn a hole through her head.”

Spencer spoke in a hushed tone as he walked away looking for the drumsticks he came here for, “I wasn’t staring okay?”

So maybe he was staring but Brendon didn’t need to know that. He couldn’t help it if he had a crush on the cashier. He’d seen her work here for years. Her father owned it or something like that. He wasn’t going to lie, she was the reason he came back.

Not because his favorite drumsticks were sold pretty cheap here, or the fact that the place was nice. It was her, Mari-Jo. The quiet, music loving girl that always caught his eyes when he came in. He didn’t know if it was from the cute reddish hair, the dark brown eyes or the personality that caught him every time but it drove him crazy like a love sick teenager.

What was worse was he didn’t even have the courage to ask her out.

He felt so pathetic at that thought. Every time, before he comes in he tells himself he’ll ask her this time. That he won’t back down but when it comes to it, he just can’t. He gets to shy and embarrassed. Then Brendon gave him shit about it and that made it worse.

But if Brendon could ask a girl so could he.

He was going to do it today. No better time then the present. He had to do it today or he wasn’t going to do it ever. He wanted to and didn’t know what was holding him back. But no more. He as going to face this risk of rejection and ask her.

He grabbed a couple pairs of drumsticks and marched up to the counter. She smiled acknowledging him by name and asking him about his day. He felt the confidence run out of him as air leaving a balloon. He stumbled to answer her questions and barely being able to ask his own about her day.

She rang up the sticks and asked about the new tour. She’s said she’d go. She always went to their shows here. Said he was an amazing player. The blush on her cheeks gave him a little pride but yet, not enough to ask the girl out.

He paid while he could hear Brendon complaining how he wanted a new guitar and how Spencer should pay for it. Spencer yelled back with a no and tried to keep the conversation going with his dream girl Mari-Jo.

Soon he was handed change and he fell quiet. He had to get out of here. It was embarrassing enough as it was that he couldn’t ask her. So he booked it out as fast as he could and waited for Brendon to finish.

Spencer sat down at a bench near the mall and sighed. He couldn’t believe he failed again. He was so determined this time but he couldn’t get the words out. His mouth wouldn’t form them. He couldn’t believe it.

Brendon finally came back with a Red Bull in hand and sat next to Spencer. He sighed with a happy smile and ranted about how much he missed being home. Spencer lost interest pretty quickly.

“It’s good to be home.”

Spencer nodded, “Yeah. I miss it a lot.”

“You’re head is in the clouds again Spencer.”

Spencer continued to zone back out, “Yeah sure.”

Brendon scooted closer to Spencer and made a joke about Spencer being a kid. It caught Spencer’s attention and he gave him a rude remark defending his age while picking at Brendon’s behaviors.

Brendon nudged Spencer’s shoulder in a playful way, “I think someone’s got a teenage crush on Mari-Jo.”

Spencer glared, “Shut up Urie.”

Brendon scooted even more impossibly closer after taking a sip of his Red Bull, “Why won’t you just admit it?”

Spencer looked away from the hyper man next to him, “Admit what?”

Brendon smirked and got all exaggerated, “That you like her. Been liking her for like a million years now!”

Spencer sighed knowing Brendon was right. He liked Mari-Jo. He tried so hard to push it away but it always came back. This was why he always came back to the music store she worked at. It wasn’t because of those drum sticks. It was her. It was always her.

Spencer reached for the Red Bull in Brendon’s hand, “Okay, I think you’ve had enough.”

Brendon let out a growl and moved away from his band mate with his Red Bull close to him looking at him through his red rimmed glasses, “No touchy! Get your own!”

Brendon looked down at himself and his face held a confused look. Spencer turned to him and asked him if he was alright. Brendon started digging through pockets and pulled out his phone. Brendon’s face lit up and he practically threw the can on Spencer with a “Here. It’s Sarah.”

Brendon pulled the phone to his ear and spoke all giddy. Spencer sighed wishing he could do the same. He was mentally kicking himself for not going after Mari-Jo. He wanted to be as happy ad Brendon was and after the last relationship he wanted to try something different. Mari-Jo had always been so kind. He still didn’t know why he hadn’t asked her before. He was so close to asking her today he could taste it.

He still had time and he wanted to face his fears.

He got up and turned away from Brendon. He took a sip of the Red Bull and threw it away in the trashcan next to the bench not hearing Brendon’s yelling protests at Spencer for doing so. He also didn’t hear the rants of Brendon trying to reassure Sarah that Spencer hadn’t hurt him or anything trying to avoid the mention of Red Bull.

Spencer paraded back to the music store and walked through the door letting it chime for his presence. Mari-Jo looked up from the counter and her cheeks still red from the last time Spencer was in here.

He had to do this now or he was going to loose all the confidence, “Mari-Jo?”

Her voice was shaky, “Yeah Spencer?”

He started to walk towards the counter, “What time do you get off work today?”

He was going to do it. He really was going to ask her. He meant business this time. No more excuses. He HAD to do this.

She looked at her watch attached to her left arm, “A half an hour. Why?”

“Uh. Well.” He was started to loose that perfect confidence, “Will you?–Would you be willing to go on a date with me tonight?”

Her heart was about to beat out of her chest when she heard those words from him. Spencer Smith was asking her out on a date. No, this wasn’t happening. She almost pinched her self. This had to be a dream. She had been in love with Spencer ever since he walked in the first time in 2004.

She tried to stay calm even though all her happiness could put any fan girl to shame, “Yes. I will.”

Spencer let out a sigh of relief, “You have no idea how hard that was.”

She smirked at him, “I knew thought you’d ever ask.”

“Really?”

She nodded, “I’ve been waiting for you to ask for a while now.”

He beamed, “I was so afraid you’d say no.”

“No. I would never say no to you.”

That alone made Spencer’s night. It didn’t matter if this date didn’t fly. All that mattered was that he actually did it. He asked her out. After all this time he asked her out. He faced that fear of rejection and got the answer he wanted. Not to mention it was as bad as he thought it would be. So what if he was acting like a kid with a crush. He still got what he wanted.

Now all he had to do was figure out where he was going to take her.

Oh well, he still got a yes. That’s all that mattered.
************