Wall Flower

Baking, baking is such fun
Mix and stir and add in love
Wait until they're golden done
Scones, you're what I'm thinkin' of

My happy poems are always the cheesiest and sometimes, like this one, suck; however, I happened to be baking a ridiculous amount of scones, brownie-cookies, lemon bars, and cinnamon crumble muffins, which stretched my nerves to their limits, and I needed something to make me happy, no matter how cheesy. Mrs. Jacobs asked Cassandra and me to bake all the desserts because no other volunteers were doing so. People wanted sweets and desserts along with their rich foods like enchiladas, chow mien and chicken, and their dream sub sandwich.

The Grub-Hub café was empty except for me and the others using the kitchen. I was nearest the ovens with Cassandra, and we were using as much space as we could get without others complaining. Some volunteers were cleaning up and so they could have an early start on their booth, and others were making the last of their orange chicken and chow mien. The sandwich folks came in the kitchen but a few moments before to gather some utensils and went on their merry way, and I could not help but think, Lucky bastards, don't have to work at all for their money, and I stopped kneading the scone dough. Dear God, excuse my bitterness.

I had a dozen and a half pumpkin and blueberry scones, a couple batches of brownie-cookies, Cassandra was working on the second batch of lemon bars, and the cinnamon crumble muffins had a couple minutes left in the oven. The scones were going to be sold for two-fifty, the brownie-cookies and lemon bars a dollar each, and the muffins a buck fifty.

I had separated the scones into little triangles and Cassandra had just pulled the muffins out and put lemon bars in to bake when we were visited by a pair of brothers. Nicholas was wearing the outfit my sister in Christ picked and bought for him, and I dare say he looked rather handsome and healthy. When we picked him up from the hospital a couple days ago he looked tired, though much better. He and Cassandra had not yet spoken of Cassandra's brother’s diabetes.

Joe, still looking as handsome as ever, was not wearing the outfit I picked and bought for him; instead, he was wearing pajamas – sweats and an oversized tee – and was sniffling. He and Nick smiled at me just before Joe sneezed, and while I calmly went over to them and put a hand on Joe's chest to stop him coming closer, Cassandra went in front of the food, stretched out her arms protectively, and shouted, "Germ child, step away from the food! QUARANTINE!"

The three of us stared at her with raised eyebrows and, if it were possible, floating question marks over our heads. She simply panted, held her arms out, and looked at the three of us with embarrassment and determination. She straightened up, cleared her throat, and waved at the boys. "Uh, hey," she said, and she tucked her bangs behind her ear, and the hair fell back. "So, uh, you look nice, Nick. And Joe, you look like crap. You feelin' okay?"

"Sure," Joe said, and his voice sounded lazy and he talked slowly. "Not really. Head starting hurting a little after we got the sign of the prices up on the booth, and I accidentally ripped the big 'Desserts!' sign, but I taped it." He smiled and stretched out his hands towards Cassandra, wiggled his fingers, and said, "With my germy hands!"

"Ew, jerk," Cassandra laughed. Nick pulled Joe back. "Thanks, Joe, and you too, Nick. Sorry you don't feel good, kiddo."

Well, Cassandra, I thought to myself, for correcting her grammar out loud frustrates her, and I need her to bake scones for me.

"I'm assuming your illness will hinder your planned engagement?" I asked when I went back to my scones and put them in the oven.

"Yes," Joe answered, and he sneezed once more. "Sorry, guys, I really hoped I'd be able to hang out with you guys and sell stuff."

I shrugged and said nothing. I was slightly disappointed that he would not grace me with his presence this night, but sick is sick.

"We came by to tell you that Joe's bailing," Nick said, and Cassandra laughed when Joe began to protest and recommending nicer words than “bailing.”
Nick ignored his brother and added, "And we were hoping . . ."

"I would reward the two of you with my scones?" He and Joe nodded earnestly. "Pumpkin or blueberry?"

"Pumpkin," Nick said the same moment Joe shouted, "Blueberry!" with enthusiasm before clearing his throat and saying, "Please."

I gave them scones and sent them on their way. Nick told us he would come back as soon as he gave Joe some cold medicine and made sure he stayed in bed. I was curious about Joseph, for he had not shown any symptoms of illness at all this week, not even when his brother had fallen ill, had diabetic shock, and was lying in the hospital unconscious. At the hospital he simply looked depressed, forlorn, and desperate for Nick to open his eyes and say he is all right, which was expected. Perhaps the illness hit him this morning (I had not seen him all day until just a few moments ago). Still, I am no doctor and therefore have no say in his illness - or lack thereof.

By the time Nick walked back into the Grub-Hub kitchen, Cassandra and I were changed into the outfits the brothers bought us: Nick bought Cassandra a teal-green tunic with a braided brown belt that went across her waist and dark navy jeans that were almost like bell-bottoms, which fit her well because she loved non-skinny jeans. He chose a good color; she looked lovely in that green, teal-ish color with her dark curly hair flowing over her shoulders and touched-up makeup and bright smile. I gave him “props,” as the modern people put it.

Joe bought me – to my delight and surprise – a cream ruffle tier sleeveless blouse and a dark navy A-line waist-high skirt (no surprise there; I knew he liked it when I wore skirts and such, as did Cassandra) - neither on clearance. (No orange stickers on the tags - just blacked out prices.) I wore black tights and my favorite pair of worn black, non-heeled booties and a black cardigan. (I get cold easily so the cardigan was a must.) It was probably my new favorite outfit in the entire history of Loraine-outfits. Who knew Joe could choose such a cute outfit, one that fit my style and personality?

As Cass and I were gathering our pastries and preparing ourselves for the Worship Night, Nick said, "I saved a spot with a blanket; if there were rows of seats, you guys will be second row. Best I could get with all the people saving seats."

"No, that's perfect!" Cass exclaimed, arms full with bags of desserts we baked. She adjusted and added, "We can switch off while someone sells, and the others go enjoy the music."

I nodded and carried bags of my own, and Nick smiled. We walked together down to the Courtyard and saw volunteers setting up their booths, people saving spots and mingling, and the evening sun setting low in the sky. The sunlight shed a very welcoming low orange light upon the ground and people. Cassandra looked really beautiful in this light and I wondered silently if Nicholas thought the same; I wondered if anyone else thought so as well. Since I happen to be thinking of Nicholas, I could not help but note that he, too, looked handsome in this light. He was a sweet, humorous man, and he happened to be rather good looking. I knew Cassandra saw this, too, and she ogled for a few moments before she snapped herself out of her trance and stopped herself from bumping into someone.

Our booth was nearest the stage, small, though decorated nicely, if I dare say so without seeming as though I was blowing my own horn. Cassandra and I worked hard on making the name of our booth look welcoming ("The Dessert Damsels" was the name Cassandra and Joe created) while also painting the name of the desserts and their prices in a way that looked pretty and eye-catching (Cassandra was very OCD about the writing and the colors, and in order to avoid conflict I stayed quiet, though Nick looked puzzled and Joe tried making excuses not to add his opinion) and drawing cupcakes and candies to tape onto the booth (Cassandra is a good drawer and did the cupcakes while Nick, a decent drawer, colored and drew the candies). Cassandra and I wore aprons she brought from home to add to our theme and, after we offered one to him, Nick said he did not think people would take lightly a man in an apron with lace and flowers printed upon the apron. Cassandra and I laughed, though Nick said he was serious.

As we set up and put the desserts on the two tables on either side of the booth, parallel to each other and us, people began eyeing us. Crew members were setting up on stage, others were beginning to sell food, and those who got food sat down on their saved spots and ate and chatted idly. The sun set below the horizon and the football-stadium-like lights shone brightly on the booths; the stage lights lit up with colors of red, blue, purple and green, illuminating the drums, keyboard and well-polished guitars. People were buying our desserts the minute the sun went down and those lights went up, and Cassandra and I were glad we baked so much.

Cassandra thanked a customer, a woman with a younger child whom she called her sister, put the money in our money box, and turned around to say, "Hey Nick can you -" When she turned around, Nick was gone, and I looked around in vain: Nick had vanished. A panicked look came over Cass and she looked at me, immediately touching my shoulder. When I raised a brow she said, "Sorry, I thought for a moment I was left behind."

"Thou art a silly child," I laughed. "Don't worry; you won't be left behind. As for Nick, I believe he may have traveled to the lavatory."

About ten minutes passed, and customers were coming to us a few at a time. Scones were popular and we were running out quickly. The second most popular were the brownie-cookies. We were selling a scone and two lemon bars to two different customers - a man, who looked a lot like Jason and seemed interested in Cassandra, bought the scone, and a man with his girlfriend or wife (I did not see a ring, but that does not entail that there was a lack of one) bought the lemon bars for the two of them, hot coffee or chocolate in hand - when someone walked onto the stage. He did not look familiar to me but he was average sized with dark hair and glasses and a shirt that was a tad big.

"Hey, hey, hey, how's it goin'?" he trumpeted, and the crowd sitting in front of the stage stood and clapped. "All right, I'm here to welcome your university's opening band who will be kickin' off our worship night! Whoo, yeah, all right." The crowd clapped, and I sold a pair of muffins to a girl with her older brother. "Then later, we'll have our special guest, Hillsong!" Cassandra shrieked with glee as the crowd cheered, and I rolled my eyes at her while I organized the money. "So without further delay, here is Kat Hugh on drums, Caleb Denn on bass, his big sis Gina Denn on acoustic guitar, Joe Jonas on guitar and vocals" - both mine and Cassandra's jaws dropped - "and his brother Nick Jonas on piano, guitar, and vocals." Cass and I looked at one another in surprise. "Let's hear it!"

Cassandra and I were too stunned to applause, and Cassandra slapped my arm multiple times as Joe and Nick walked onto the stage. Nick stood at the keyboard and Joe went to grab a guitar on the right side of the stage, the part closest to us. He looked over at Cassandra and me, dressed in the outfit I bought him, and waved. Nick smiled awkwardly and did a strange swatting motion with his hand that I assumed was a wave. Then, he leaned towards the mic, pursed his lips, took a quick look around, and said, "How y'all doin' tonight?" and was rewarded with whoops and cheers. "All right, that's what we like to hear. This one's called See His Love."

And thus the band began to play. Nick was a very good pianist, and I thought briefly that he and I should play a duet someday. I do not know many fellow pianists and I have been dying to try a duet. Joe, too, was good, and though I did not play guitar I felt that his playing was exceptional. Then the two opened their mouths, began to sing, and Cassandra and I swooned together, smiling and giggling like school girls. I have heard the brothers sing in church, though never front and center as they sang on stage that worship night. Cassandra and I temporarily closed our booth so we could go down to our saved spot and cheer. I was not a loud person so I clapped and sang softly along. Cassandra, on the other hand, clapped and whooped loudly, cheering for Nick and Joe and singing aloud. She swayed to the beat and smiled a lot, and I saw Nick looking at her many a time while he was singing.

Joe, too, looked at me, and I would smile bashfully at him. He sang so nicely, that man did, and I found it hard to not find it so damn attractive that I found myself using explicit language in my head to scold myself. ‘Twas true, however: the man was attractive and his singing voice only made it more difficult to focus on anything else.

They performed three more songs: Divine Romance, Unfailing Love, and How Can I Keep From Singing, all performed beautifully and received well. The crowd, and that most definitely included Cass and me, loved them, and the songs. The man who introduced them came up onto the stage, fist-bumped Joe and shook Nick's hand, and told us that Hillsong would be up in a few, "so just hang tight."

Cassandra and I hurried over to the side of the stage Joe and Nick were exiting (‘twas the side closest to our booth) and hugged them tightly. I hugged Nick first because a squealing Cass tackled Joe, who was getting off first. When I reached for Joe, Cassandra shouted, "Guys! Why didn't you tell us?! You guys freaking rocked!"

"Exceptional, yes," I agreed, smiling at Joe when we left each other's arms.

"We wanted to surprise you guys," Nick said, and the perspiration on his forehead glowed in the light.

"And I thought I'd add in some flare by pretending to be sick," Joe said proudly.

"To discover an air of manipulation in me would be but false hope," I laughed, and Joe rolled his eyes with a smile.

The four of us went back to our booth and sold more desserts after Joe made a quick joke (“Who bought you that outfit, Loraine? That person knows style! And you looks perty in it!”). Only about ten minutes passed, and we were running short on our desserts: There were only a few pumpkin scones left, the cookie-brownies were reduced to crumbs, the muffins were scarce, and there was but one lonely lemon bar left that was sold to some young girl with her elder brother (whom Cassandra claims to have seen during her dance rehearsals) before the man who introduced Joe, Nick and the others walked back onto the stage to announce Hillsong. Cassandra cheered loudly and hopped gleefully while holding Nick's arm; and Nick looked somewhat concerned that she might accidentally rip his arm off when she pulled him along to our saved seats, and he waved with his free hand before they left the booth, leaving Joe and me behind.

"Wanna go?" Joe asked, using his thumb to point to the stage as the band graced it.

I shook my head negatively as I stacked the empty containers on top of each other and put them on the table in front of me. "Too many people are among the crowd, and I honestly do not feel like being rubbed by stranger's arms at the moment." I brought my eyes up to him. "If you want to by all means go, little snake child."

Joe began walking away and a hint of sadness fell over me like a veil as I watched. Then he turned at the farther corner of the table and sat in front of me, his body turned towards the stage. He made a sideways glance towards me, cracked a grin, and hollered in the direction of the stage as the band began to play. I tittered at my thought process: Offer Joe freedom so he does not feel obligated to stay with the Wall Flower, and I feel like a good friend; and then when he seems as though he is leaving, I feel sad; and then I see he is actually staying and I feel as though I blacked out and the silly head-over-heels little girl in me took over; and lastly, I laugh at her, because she is nothing but silly! And now that I am finished with the self-insulting, I mosey over to Joseph, lean beside him against the table with my hands planted on its fake wood. I lightly pushed him with my shoulder. Then we sang together, and I caught sight of Cassandra and Nick jumping with the crowd and dancing. A joyous feeling covered me, and not like a veil this time but a blanket to keep me warm during a long winter night, a relentless storm, a lazy day with a book.

Because it was so wonderful, I put my hand up towards my God and thanked him for everything, everything, everything. . . .