Wall Flower

Joanne stopped us almost dead center on the dance floor and looked over at the DJ nicknamed D.J. (real name Demitri James) to smile at him. He nodded and messed around on his equipment before slow music began playing. It warmed my heart and I stared down at my sister who, though she had heels on, was still shorter than I.

“Time for the sister-sister dance,” she said to me with that genuine Joanne smile of hers before she attacked me with her perfect hug. The two of us laughed when I nearly fell over.

The song that we danced to, wrapped in each other’s arms, smiling and crying (blubbering like babies, actually, since we two are completely sensitive and cry over almost anything), was a song I only loved because it fit us: Two Worlds Collide by Demi Lovato. Neither of us really listen to pop; it isn’t our style of music. However this song fit our sisterhood almost perfectly – that’s what made it Joanne’s favorite, and later on mine.



When the music stopped she lifted her head up to look at me. Her eyes were red and puffy and tears were still streaming down her cheeks. She wiped away my tears and we laughed at the fact that though we were almost completely different we could still cry together and love each other so much it hurt. Our love for each other, God, our family, and our sensitivity were a few of the only things we had in common.

Looking into her eyes, her pretty, light brown eyes, I could see our past – my past especially, all the times she had helped me through the scariest and toughest times in my life when I was in junior high. I knew she could see my past reflected in my eyes as well because this sorrowful look came across her face and she kissed my cheek.

“Your wedding really is beautiful,” I whispered to her, my voice cracking because of the tears. “No matter what I say. I’m so happy for you.”

“Thank you,” she mouthed, and we hugged once more.

When we came back to reality we looked around at all the people who came to celebrate love – my sister’s and Garret’s love – and saw them either crying, smiling, or cheering. We had forgotten them (like my poem said) and while I reverted to my shell Joanne smiled and dragged me away from the floor of dancing. She led me to the wedding party’s table at the edge of the wall in front of the dance floor and left of the D.J. Garret sat waiting for us.

“I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who made her cry,” Garret joked, and all of us thought of their teary “I do’s” during the ceremony as Joanne and I went around the table and went to his seat against the wall.

“You cried too,” I pointed out to him, and I patted him on the shoulder. He and I were the same height but with heels I was barely taller than he.

Joanne let go of me and went to hug her new husband. He bent down to give her a kiss and they looked up at one another with so much love that it was almost hard to believe that kind of love was real. Though they were not kissing I still looked away to give them some privacy.

For reasons unknown (and yet I know exactly why, though I would never admit it) I looked over at Joe when I looked away from my sister and brother-in-law. He was staring over in this direction and did not look away when I caught him staring. I refused to believe he was staring at me and convinced myself he was looking at one of the bride’s maids or at Garret and my sister.

He waved and my heart constricted.

I glanced at Garret for a moment to hopefully find him waving back, except he wasn’t; he and my sister were hugging now; he was stroking her pretty hair.

I gaze at Joe and found him with a friendly smile on his face. I lifted my hand and it twitched – the closest thing to a wave I could manage. He laughed and looked back at his brothers and the pregnant woman who I had assumed was his wife, though I do not remember Garret ever mentioning his friend was married. Still, married or not, he had someone. I was the one who was doting and confused over his smiles and waving and staring.

(Dear God, am I overreacting? Am I just being a silly girl letting her emotions and a handsome face get to her head? God, if he’s married, guard our hearts from these feelings. This isn’t right if he’s married to her. Wow I’m ridiculous, huh? You’re probably laughing at how silly I am, and yet you still love me. Well, I love You. Amen.)

“Joe!” Garret shouted, and I averted my eyes from the windowed doors that led to the gardens outside to look at Joe as he meandered over to us.

“Hey, man,” Joe said, and the two men embraced enthusiastically. No handshakes, high fives, or strange half-handshakes, half-hugs that men seem to do to appear manly. I find it nice when guys hug their other guy friends.

“Congratulations,” Joe said to Garret before he turned to a smiling Joanne. “You look beautiful, JJ.”

“Thank you, Joe,” she said, and her voice wavered the way it does; it sounds like she is truly thankful and feels like what the person said was the nicest thing in the entire world, that no one could ever say anything more kind and lovely than what they had just told her.

After they hugged Joe turned to me and I tried my best to smile, though I am sure I failed to the most epic degree one could achieve. He still smiled at me, however, and stuck his hand out. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Loraine,” he said, waiting for me to shake his hand. “Garret and JJ tell me a lot about you.”

I stared at his hand like it was something foreign and like I’ve never seen a hand before. “Hi,” I managed to say after I grabbed his calloused hand. I admit most regretfully that I liked it much too much. “Yes, I’m Loraine. I’ve heard a lot about you as well, Joe.”

He continued to grin as he pulled his hand away (I wanted to grab it again but I knew that would not be socially acceptable and I would scare him and myself) and said, “It’s funny how we’ve never met but we go to the same church. Small church, too. You guys go on Sundays, right?”

“Loraine goes with my parents on Sundays,” Joanne answered. “If she weren’t so busy she’d go with us on Wednesdays.”

“Explains why I’ve never met you,” Joe said. “I usually help out with Sunday School so I’m hardly ever in the Sanctuary.”

“What they don’t tell you,” Garret said as he leaned over and stage whispered, “is that he has to be with kids his own age. He can’t go into the big boy sanctuary just yet.”

Joe pushed him over as Garret started to laugh. “Not nice, dude,” he laughed. He looked back at me. “It’s true, I’m a kid at heart.” He gave me a goofy smile.

I laughed; I surprised myself by laughing.

Suddenly a techno type song came on and Joe gasped. “Daft Punk?!” he asked euphorically.

“Knew you’d like it so I asked D.J. to put it on after the sisters’ dance,” Garret replied, and Joe tackled him with a hug.

“I love you, man,” Joe said. He looked at me and said, “You want to go dance?”

I smiled nervously and shook my head negatively. I don’t usually dance, and Daft Punk isn’t my style of music, though they sounded good.

He asked, “Pretty please? With a cherry on top?” When I still shook my head he asked, “Two cherries? Chocolate fudge? Caramel? Strawberry glaze?”

I looked down bashfully and stifled my laugh. He bent down and tried to meet my gaze. “Come on, come dance. Garret and I could show you the dance we made up to this song when we were eighteen.”

“Loraine, you gotta see it,” Joanne laughed.

I looked up at Joe. With these blasted heels on I was definitely taller than he. He didn’t seem to notice or care; all that seemed to matter right now was that he got me out onto the dance floor and let me see this dance he and Garret made up.

I found myself saying, “Okay,” and he whooped and hollered. He and Garret started jumping out to the floor of dancing and, when Joanne and I walked on, started to dance in synch with one another and the music.

“They showed this to me a little after they choreographed it,” Joanne explained, and stopped momentarily to shout, “Go Garret! Yeah!” She looked back at me and continued what she was telling me: “Saw what they did there? That hair slick thing they just did? I added that.”

“Lovely,” I said, and it was not sarcastic. “It added a nice touch.”

“Yes, indeed,” Joanne agreed.

The song ended and the two men posed with strange looks on their faces (like puckered lips and one raised eyebrow). Joe threw his arms up before stroking his invisible beard. Garret got down on one knee, put his elbow on his raised knee, and began stroking his invisible beard as well. Both had maintained that puckered look on their faces and the stroking of their imaginary beard a few moments after the song ended.

People cheered, hollered and whooped; I actually cheered as well. I was figuring out now that Joe was bringing me out of my shell and, by the look on his face when he momentarily broke character, I could tell that was what he was planning to do.

He and Garret stood straight and, once the crowd’s cheers had died down, Joe announced that he was “DJ Danga” and introduced Garret as “Lil’ Garreezy.”

“Together we’re The Dancing Dragons,” Joe said, and he and Garret bared their teeth and made claws of their hands.

How ironic (not really).

Joanne found it too funny. “Cute, huh Loraine?” she teased and nudged my side with her elbow while cocking her eyebrow. “You like that name, huh Loraine?”

“You and Cassandra,” I muttered, “are making it impossible for me to loveth you two.”

“You say loveth?” Joe laughed, suddenly appearing before me. “I haven’t heard someone say that before. Pretty funny.”

Garret threw his arm over Joe’s shoulder. “I congratulate you, Joseph,” he said. “You managed to yank my sister-in-law out of her shell in a few minutes. Took me months to get her to get excited enough to hoot, and that was after I got her tickets to see Skillet in concert.”

I shouted, “Yea!” with gusto and looked back down at their feet. “There; that was my last bit of going out of my comfort zone for tonight.”

“Is that a challenge?” Joe asked, and he smiled coyly.

Once he said that I knew he and I would be good friends.

“Joe, get her to do Simon Says,” Joanne said, and I groaned loudly and maybe a little dramatically, “and I will give you ten bucks.” She looked at me for a second. “Scavenger hunt’s been moved to later. Just a side note.” She looked at Joe. “Do we have a deal, DJ Danga?”

“Done,” Joe said, and he and my sister shook hands.

My jaw dropped. “You betray me,” said I. I quickly looked for an escape and saw Cassandra at the bar (soda bar I should say since my sister and Garret made sure no alcohol would be served) waiting for a drink.

“You know, Loraine,” Joe said to me with one hand holding the back of the decorated chair (my chair at the bridal party’s table) for support and the other on his hips. He had a sly look on his face and he reeked of over-confidence. “You should play Simon Says.”

“I’ll pass,” I replied with a grin.

“Looks like I’ll be keeping those ten bucks,” Joanne laughed. She waved goodbye to Joe and me and walked over to the DJ named D.J. to announce the new game that was about to begin.

“Excuse me,” I said as I tried to pass Joe but he grabbed my wrist.

We locked eyes. My skin buzzed where he touched me and my cheeks felt extremely warm.

A simple touch
Explosion of heat
A rush of emotions
When their eyes meet

He quickly let go of my wrist and put his hands in his pockets – not before I noticed a wedding band on his left ring finger.

We simply stared at one another. I could see confusion in his eyes masked by indifference. I can only assume he was acting indifferent to the shock of grabbing my wrist and stopping me from making my escape. Lord knows I strive to hide my emotions as well as he did, and every attempt I make ends with a nuclear explosion of failure. I could see him examining my emotions as I ducked my head and retreated to hiding behind my carrot colored hair as I always did.

“It’s gonna start,” Joe said. I peaked at him and found his lips forming a small grin. “We’re gonna miss it. Then we’ll miss out on something fun. Then I’ll be sad. Then I won’t get ten bucks. Then I’ll blame you.” My eyebrows furrowed. I probably looked like a kicked puppy because he chuckled and put a hand on my slightly bare shoulder. “Just kiddin’, Loraine.”

I looked over at Cass. She sat next to one of Joe’s brothers and was smiling and laughing. I was going to use her to escape from the dreaded game of Simon Says, though I was beginning to change my mind. I did not want to drag her into my misery while she was enjoying happiness and good company.

I blew my sideways bangs out of my face, though it was a wasted effort: they just fell back in front of my face. It made Joe laugh.

He still had a hand on my shoulder.

“It looks like your changing your mind,” he said, and he removed his hand from my shoulder and starting backing up to the dance floor. “So I’m going to slowly walk towards the dance floor and hope you follow.”

That is when he ran into one of the bride’s maids who decided to pull out her chair and sit. He had not seen it because his back was to her and that resulted in him toppling over the chair and fell onto the ground, feet resting on the very chair that tripped him.

I laughed so hard my sides hurt.

“Of course I would trip,” Joe mumbled.

I walked over to him and loomed above him with an outstretched hand. “What are you doing on the floor?” I asked. “We have a game of Simon Says to play.”