Wall Flower

“Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin,” my bible teacher Mr. McMark, read from his bible as the rest of the class silently read along, “and in this way death came to all people, because all sinned . . .” He stopped, took off his reading glasses, and looked around at the rest of us to see if we were paying attention – not that anyone wasn’t, especially after he threw a whiteboard marker at one boy who wasn’t just to get a reaction from the rest of us and to get the boy’s attention.

“First, a pretty easy question: Can anyone explain to me what kind of death Paul is writing of?” Mr. McMark asked, and I was one of the first to raise my hand. He smiled. “Not surprised. Yes, Loraine?”

“He means a spiritual death, of course,” I answered, but was fairly quiet because though I knew the answer, having more than a dozen pairs of eyes focused on me was something rather disturbing. “If it were a physical death, we would be dead the moment we sinned – as an extreme example.”

“Good,” he said, and I cracked a half-smile in response to his. Wrinkles formed on the edge of his eyes, well-worn from smiling so much. “Joe, want to tell me who the ‘one man’ is?”

Joe sat up straight and said, “Adam.”

“Yes, and what was the sin he committed that put the balance of the universe out of whack?”

“Um, being disobedient to God?” Joe was unsure of his answer and I nudged him with my knee, hoping to let him know that he was right.

“Yes,” Mr. McMark replied. “Paul does say that the disobedience of one man brought sin into the world. Sometimes – most times – people say that the sin they committed was eating from the Tree of Good and Evil, but that’s only half the story. They disobeyed and wanted to be like God – higher than God, really. That’s what Satan wanted and tried to do. Why do you think he left heaven?

“Through Adam sinning and being casted out of the Garden of Eden, sin entered the world and sprouted through him, Eve and his offspring. It did, in a sense, throw the universe out of sorts, and everyone, whether they like it or not, is born sinful. Why is that?”

I raised my hand, and he nodded at me. “It was imputed, meaning that it was passed down from him onto every generation after him without a choice. He was the representative of the human race, and when he screwed up, so did the rest of humanity.”

“Is that it for the human race? Is there no escape from the imputed sin?” he asked the class, and I raised my hand again. “Someone else besides Loraine answer or she’s going to steal all your thunder.” He smiled at Joe – or I thought it was Joe, but he was smiling at his brother who sat on his opposite side. “Finally, Nick.”

I saw Nick smile. “When Jesus died, he imputed righteousness onto us and – and like the title says, now we have life through Christ. A, uh, second chance, you could say. His obedience will make people righteous.”

“Very good, Nick,” congratulated our teacher. He picked up a stack of papers and distributed halves of the stack to the first row of students. “Pass those back,” he said to them, and he looked out to the rest of us. “I want you guys to look through this worksheet. It has more information on imputed sin and stuff that we don’t have time to discuss – Joseph Jonas pass that note and I will chuck you with this marker.”

I blushed and looked down at Joe’s left hand that had begun to slide from his desk to mine with a folded piece of paper underneath his palm. His muscles tensed and he slowly put the note in his jacket pocket while I just sat there with wide eyes and a heart that was trying to beat again.

“Good boy. I could have missed and accidentally thunk Loraine, and I would blame you,” Mr. McMark said, and though he was serious about not passing the note, he still had a smile on his face and in his crinkly eyes.

The bell rang – and what an annoying sound it made. I hated that thing the moment I laid my eyes on its rusted body – and people began to stand up as Mr. McMark closed his bible. “Be ready for discussion next Monday. Bye, kids.”

“Here,” Joe said as he held out a folded piece of paper to me. “I drew a cool picture on it, but that’s not what I wanted you to read originally. I wanted to let you know that I got a text from my parents.”

“Checking your phone in class, are we?” Cass scolded. “If Mr. McMark caught you with your phone and passing notes, you definitely would have gotten more than one marker thrown at you.”

“What did they say?” I asked as I examined his drawing of a convertible car and a stick figure made to look like him but with sunglasses driving the car. “And what is the meaning of this?”

“Nothing, just wanted to let you know what kind of car I wanted.” He pulled out his phone. “Mom texted me; she said that her, dad, Frank the Tank, Kevin and Dani are coming down to visit for a few days.”

“Awesome!” Nick exclaimed.

“Frank the Tank?” Cass and I asked, and we were ignored.

“When did she say they were coming down?” Nick asked his older brother.

“Late tonight,” Joe answered, and the two smiled at each other. “We should plan something for us to do tomorrow” – (it was now Friday) – “maybe show them around.”

“Why late tonight?” Nick asked, and then he answered his own question. “Oh yeah, dad’s new job. Workin’ late. Never mind. But yeah, we should.” He looked at Cass and me. “Finally you guys’ll get to meet my parents and our brother. It’s about time, since you guys never seem to leave our sides.”

“You know you like it,” Joe teased.

“We’ve already met your brother,” I said to them. “And Danielle. Remember at the wedding?”

“Not Kevin, our other brother,” Joe replied. “Frank the Tank.”

“You have three brothers?” I asked him. “I thought Cassandra was the only one with a lot of siblings. Maybe having more than one seems like a crowd because I have one, and she’s a handful.”

“No, she’s a social butterfly, unlike your antisocial self,” Cassandra laughed, and the others joined me. “And yes, I know the actual psychological meaning of antisocial, but oh well; you’re going to have to deal with me using it to call you an awkward child.”

I rolled my eyes at her. “Nevertheless,” I said, continuing as if she had not interrupted me, “I will be happy to meet your parents and your other brother. Debes invitar a su familia venir a la iglesia el domingo.”

The two Jonas brothers looked at me with confusion. I probably could never get tired of people looking at me like that when I spoke Spanish because, most of the time, they don’t expect a six-foot, naturally orange haired, freckle-face girl to spit it out so casually and without hesitation. I liked being unpredictable for a change instead of being labeled as the quiet, sarcastic, and smart girl.

“She suggested bringing them along to church with us,” Cassandra translated. “You guys shouldn’t be surprised to hear her randomly speak in Spanish.”

“We’re not surprised,” Nick replied. “I just wish I had a google translater in my brain. You’ll do.” He winked at her. None of us expected that – it even looked as though Nick was surprised at himself. I thought I saw a light pink under his fair, moderately freckled cheek. (I would never tell him this, but to me the freckles on his right cheek looked like the little dipper.)

“Anywaaay,” Joe said to break the slight awkward tension that hung above our heads. “That’s a good idea, Loraine.”

“We should take ‘em out to lunch after church, too,” Nick added, and he grinned lightly and Joe glanced at me for a second. I detected an apology in his eyes, though I was unsure. He looked away too quickly for me to find out whether it was an apology or just to see if I would object.

“We can spend some time with them,” Nick continued, oblivious to Joe’s look, and he looked at us. “We could arrange something for all of us to do tomorrow so you can meet them, and we can go to church Sunday and play it by ear, ‘cause we’ll probably go around the city, or something.”

Joe gave me another look, I think waiting for me to give an answer, though I didn’t know what to say or do except shake my head. Cassandra was the one to answer for us, and she and Nick were once again awkward children when they just smiled at each other in silence.
Cassandra looked ahead of us and checked her bag. “Yes, I have it,” she said to herself, and then she grinned at the rest of us. “See ya, guys.” She hurried off to her class, one that she didn’t have with either of us.

“Have fun!” Nick shouted after her as she entered. She leaned out the door and smiled again. She was adorable, sometimes – and I was slightly envious. Nick looked rather infatuated, though I was sure Cassandra was torn between thinking it was her imagination and hoping too much. It was not often that she found a guy that treated her as nicely and showing interest, as Nick was currently doing, after her confusing relationship about a year ago.

“I guess I’m out, too,” Joe said, and he crushed me with his bear-like hug before I could say farewell. “We’ll have to move our picnic again,” he whispered, for some strange reason. Did he not want Nick to know of our picnic plan? “I’m sorry about that.”

I did not know what to do with his unpredicted hug, so I pat his back, which was probably most awkward. “It’s fine,” I replied, uncertain of whether I should follow his lead and whisper. “There’s always more Sunday afternoons ahead of us.”

He pulled back and smiled at me, then, as if just barely noticing Nick, smiled a peculiar smile at his younger brother. I haven’t seen this smile before – oh, false, I have before. He used it when he knew he was going to do something that he felt showed love but also would make the other person either uncomfortable, feel gauche, tongue-tied, et cetera. He has done that to me . . . a couple times throughout the school day, mostly in the morning and towards lunch where I was at my most impatient, one could say. I wasn’t cranky nor was I giddy, so an in between.

Nick eyed his brother with suspicion but still said goodbye. “Ready to go – oof!” he huffed just as Joe tackled him with a giant, tight bear hug that caught his brother off guard. I could hear the air whooshing out of Nick’s lungs when Joe threw himself onto his little brother. The two almost toppled over onto the hard ground; if they fell I wouldn’t know which to do: laugh my orange-haired head off or stare in shock.

“No! No! Ah. . . .” Nick shouted at his elder brother, however his efforts were wasted: Joe just held him tighter. Nick finally was able to shove him off. “Go to class, Joe. Come on Loraine.” He quickly ran off; he didn’t wait for me.

I waved at Joe with a hesitant grin, unsure if he would do the same to me again. “Have fun in one of your many acting classes.”

He smiled and sauntered off, leaving me to catch up to Nick as we meandered on over to the only general education class he and I had without Cassandra: Physics, probably the most evil thing in the world that I thought I would not have to take. After talking with the Dean of the school and seeing what I would have to take my first year, I hardly expected Physics to be a part of that requirement – and Lord was I wrong! It was a reason why I did not get it out of the way over the summer, and now there I was, figuring out these horrid mathematical equations while also applying it to the law of whatever-scientific-crap.

I sighed deeply towards the middle of class, a physical process of breathing out heavily in boredom, sorrow, or satisfaction (not my case at all) that Nick was becoming accustomed to since day one. Now he found it funny and chuckled whenever he heard me sigh heavily.

Usually this class was routine to me: I walk in with Nick, sit with Nick, we pull out our two identical physics books, open to insert-page-number-here, and take out our note books. The teacher would begin right away and try to crack a joke every now and again, some of which were not funny enough to laugh at. No offenses to Mrs. Chip, but most of us were having too much trouble figuring out the quantum field theory to laugh at her joke.

Unlike our other classes, Nick and I did not regularly pass notes. We had trouble with this class and were too focused to spare a couple seconds to write a simple “Hey” on a paper and pass it over. However, on this particular day in late September, I found him nonchalantly sliding a note from his area to mine. (The tables were more like wooden countertops that measured the length of the row in the upward slanting classroom; Mrs. Chip was at the bottom with her whiteboard and projector.)

I gave him a quick, questioning look, and he replied with a simple shrug. I opened the note and read, “Did lunch with my parents after church interfere with plans you had with my brother? Say, a picnic?” He put a winking face at the end and I rolled my eyes. Sometimes he was more like Cassandra than I thought.

“Yeah. How’d you know?” I wrote back. “P.S. Not that I’m keeping it a secret, though it seemed that Joseph was.”

“I caught a glimpse of your note from Monday & overheard you scolding him about the wet willy. I didn’t know you screamed because he gave you a wet willy! That was so funny!”

“No, it was not!”

He drew an odd looking happy face. “Ha ha! Anyway, about the picnic: sorry ‘bout that. I wouldn’t have suggested it if I would have known for sure.”

I had to answer a question Mrs. Chip asked before I replied, almost getting the right answer (I answered with more of a chemistry answer than a physics answer). “Your parents are more important. I told him that there’ll be more Sundays to have picnics, so I’m sure he’s fine. He’ll survive.”

“You’re not disappointed?”

“No. Thanks for your concern, Nicholas.” Instead of the normally used happy face, I drew a dragon with a happy face. I heard him chuckle when he saw it. He nudged me playfully and we continued paying attention instead of passing notes.

A few minutes before class ended I received a note from him. “Joe actually looked pretty bummed when I suggested the lunch plans. He really wanted to go with you.”

I raised my eyebrow and wrote, “Okay? Did we not talk about this already?”

I heard him chuckle lightly before he replied once more: “Just thought I would let you know. You mean a lot to him. He needed a friend like you.” He drew a thumbs up like his brother does, though his was better drawn. “P.S. I like you as a friend, too. Don’t get me wrong. You and Cass.”

I looked at him with a smile on my face, one that felt like Joanne’s; the smile almost mirrored the one she had that made you feel that what you said to her was the kindest, most heartwarming thing anyone has and ever will tell her. Perhaps we were more alike than I realized.

The bell rang, and it was my turn to nudge him. “You’re weird like Joe, I hope you understand that.”

“Aw, low blow,” he chuckled. “That’s almost an insult after the compliment I gave you.”

As we exited the isle I said, “No, seriously. The ‘Just thought I would let you know’ thing was unexpected and strange, much like your older brother.”

“Well, I thought I would tell you,” he replied. “I was also hoping you would schedule something else with him sooner so he won’t suffer, poor guy. He kinda feels that he and you” – Finally someone got the ‘he and you’ right! I thought – “should get a day for the two of you since he had, uh . . . something to take care of when he was supposed to take you to the zoo. And, uh, after my night out with Cass, he really feels that way.” His cheeks turned a pale pink color at the mention of Cass, and I was tempted to point it out, though I might pay for it later.

“Oh” was all I could say, and a smile crept onto my face, thinking of how good of a friend Joe was to me and how he cared.

Before Joe and Nick got ready to meet his parents, brothers and sister-in-law at the nearby hotel later tonight, the four of us went out to Panera Bread to briefly go over what we discussed in Bible to prepare ourselves for Monday and to figure out what we were going to do with the remaining Jonas family.

“These scones are not as good as yours,” Cassandra commented after chewing the bite she took of the scone I purchased. “There’s just something you do when baking them that makes them so . . . warm and moist and tasty. Do you add more sugar?”

“A baker never reveals her secrets,” I joked, feeling light and happy surrounded by my good friends, friends I was very lucky to have put into my life.

“Isn’t that a magician?” Joe asked with his mouth full of Bear Claw. He chewed and swallowed as the rest of us chuckled. “All right, so, now that we’ve finished talking about imputed sin and how Eve so did not say, ‘Boy, I was so glad I ate that fruit – yum!’ I think we should think about what we’re going to do with my family tomorrow.”

“Spend time with them,” I said sarcastically and Joe stuck his tongue out at me, much like Cassandra does. So juvenile, and yet I found myself returning the gesture without hesitation. Sometimes I question my maturity.

“Maybe we can all chip in and go to the zoo again?” Cassandra suggested, already sorting through her wallet. “Got any more of those coupons, Joe?”

He shook his head. “Nope. They only have those for every month, not every week. I think we’d only have enough for the four of us, not nine. Unless we ask them to pay.”

“No, that’s rude,” I said. “We’re going to treat them, whatever we do. I feel that’s fair since they’re coming all the way up here.”

The rest nodded and Cassandra put away her Nightmare before Christmas-themed wallet; and we continued to think as we absentmindedly took bites of our desserts: Me, an orange-cranberry scone; Cassandra, a giant chocolate chip cookie; Nick, a smoothie (not exactly a dessert, though he didn’t complain); and Joe, his Bear Claw.

Since we were talking about the zoo, I remembered something that was close to it from when Joe had mentioned it: “How about we go to the park that’s connected to the zoo?” They looked at me to show they were listening. “They have grills there. I remember seeing them when we were going into the zoo. We could each buy something – buns, burger patties and hot dogs – and have a barbeque.”

Cassandra caught on. “Yeah! Didn’t they have a basketball court or a volleyball court? We could play around with that or bring some other stuff.”

She and Joe gasped at the same time. “A kite!” they shouted simultaneously. They smiled at each other. “High five,” they laughed together and missed slapping their palms against each other.

“Aw, fail!” Cassandra laughed, and they tried two more times before getting it right.

Nick and I shared a glance, silently asking each other why we associate with such strange people. It made me laugh to see how the four of us were closer with the opposite personality – Joe and me, Cassandra and Nick – than with the similar one. We were evidence of opposites attracting.

“Are you two done with your love fest?” I asked them. Cassandra blushed and looked at Nick while Joe winked at me, sending my heart into a confusing off-beat rhythm. “Do we have a plan, then?”

Nick nodded. “We each buy something barbeque-related, bring a volleyball (it was a volleyball court, not a basketball court; I remember)” – Cassandra muttered something along the lines of, “Aren’t you special?” – “and other stuff, like I was thinking a Frisbee. Is that good?”

“Yeah,” the rest of us said and gave each other looks.

“Who’s buying what?” Joe asked.

“Well,” Cassandra said, “we need hot dog and burger buns, patties and dogs, ketchup and mustard, drinks, cups, utensils, and plates.”

“Hm,” I said. “I’ll buy the utensils and napkins, which you forgot to mention.” Cassandra begrudgingly poked my stomach.

“I’ll buy the meat and condiments,” Nick added.

“That’s a lot,” I said, eyebrows furrowing at the thought of Nick having to buy all that while I bought utensils and napkins only. “Let’s say I buy the meat and utensils, and you buy the condiments and napkins.”

“Fine with me,” he smiled.

Joe raised his hand. “I’ll buy the buns, ha ha!” The man was like a child. “I guess the plates too. But that makes my joke less funny!”

Nick muttered, “You’re never funny,” and Joe pouted.

“Guess that leaves me to the cups and drinks,” Cassandra said, and she smiled that bright smile of hers. Then her eyes suddenly widened and she slapped her palm to her forehead and shouted, “Better idea!” We stared with puzzlement and waited for her to elaborate. “How about you two” – here she pointed at the two brothers – “give us your cut of the money and while you go with your family to the park with the balls and stuff, Loraine and I will buy the stuff and meet you there. How’s that sound? That way you guys can be with your family earlier.”

The two nodded for a moment in unison. “Sounds good,” Nick said while Joe cheerfully added, “Great!”

We left the restaurant with a list ready for tomorrow.