Status: Completed
Psyche
23
Jean finds it hard to believe that the happy Jamie before him is the same reclusive Jamie from school. He’s actually neat to be around once he gets settled in, and he hasn’t looked at the ground much whenever talking to Jean.
Jean feels a little guiltier for ever thinking Jamie was just some anti-social weirdo. He’s an okay kid. He’s someone Jean could hang out with often.
How weird would that be? His friends would think him crazy; think he’s taking pity on Jamie.
Since when has Jean cared what others think? Answer: never.
Jean wants to keep Jamie out a little longer, to see what else can happen. It’s close to eleven fifteen, and Girlie’s probably waiting up for him right now. Maybe next time.
Zay’s house is closer than Jamie’s, so Jean drops her off first. He motions for Jamie to climb in the frontseat and pops in T.H.I.E.V.E.S.’s EP. The drums start, and then the bass.
“The show was awesome,” Jamie says. “I love Ida.”
“She’s kooky,” Jean adds.
“She called me ‘baby’ when I talked to her.”
“You are kind of babyish.”
When they get to a red light, Jean looks at him. Sweat still lingers on Jamie’s skin, making his shirt cling tight, and his cheeks are a deep red. Jamie’s head rests against the window, eyes drooping every so often and mouth just barely open, teeth showing. He looks much younger than he should, more vulnerable.
Jean’s been with a few guys in the past, and some girls. He keeps staring and imagines himself wanting Jamie that way, and the thought feels indecent, too wrong. He feels shame, and then anger – he shouldn’t feel bad for thinking of him in that way. Jamie catches him looking, and Jean laughs, voice shaking. But Jamie joins in too, so it’s okay.
This is where Jean would dig a cigarette and a lighter out from his pockets, but he doesn’t smoke, so he opts for singing along to the song playing.
“Thank you for inviting me and stuff.” Jamie sounds too sweet, too sincere, and it makes Jean grip the steering wheel a bit tighter as he parks in front of the house.
“You’re welcome. I’m glad you could come.” Jean loses his track of thought when Jamie smiles at him, happiness still in his veins.
Jamie opens the door. “Bye.”
“We should hang out more. I’ll see you later.” It comes out abruptly, almost in a panic. Jean wonders how much of it he means and how much of Jamie believes. Just because someone says that, doesn’t mean they will, or care to.
Jean feels honest when he says it, and he has a strange hopefulness Jamie thinks so too.
When Jamie is in the house, Jean doesn’t leave right away. He forces himself eventually, when he can’t think of a proper excuse as to why he’s sitting around.
He’ll see Jamie Monday.
He speeds off, and it’s not until he’s already home he realizes he’s been listening to silence the whole drive there.
Jean feels a little guiltier for ever thinking Jamie was just some anti-social weirdo. He’s an okay kid. He’s someone Jean could hang out with often.
How weird would that be? His friends would think him crazy; think he’s taking pity on Jamie.
Since when has Jean cared what others think? Answer: never.
Jean wants to keep Jamie out a little longer, to see what else can happen. It’s close to eleven fifteen, and Girlie’s probably waiting up for him right now. Maybe next time.
Zay’s house is closer than Jamie’s, so Jean drops her off first. He motions for Jamie to climb in the frontseat and pops in T.H.I.E.V.E.S.’s EP. The drums start, and then the bass.
“The show was awesome,” Jamie says. “I love Ida.”
“She’s kooky,” Jean adds.
“She called me ‘baby’ when I talked to her.”
“You are kind of babyish.”
When they get to a red light, Jean looks at him. Sweat still lingers on Jamie’s skin, making his shirt cling tight, and his cheeks are a deep red. Jamie’s head rests against the window, eyes drooping every so often and mouth just barely open, teeth showing. He looks much younger than he should, more vulnerable.
Jean’s been with a few guys in the past, and some girls. He keeps staring and imagines himself wanting Jamie that way, and the thought feels indecent, too wrong. He feels shame, and then anger – he shouldn’t feel bad for thinking of him in that way. Jamie catches him looking, and Jean laughs, voice shaking. But Jamie joins in too, so it’s okay.
This is where Jean would dig a cigarette and a lighter out from his pockets, but he doesn’t smoke, so he opts for singing along to the song playing.
“Thank you for inviting me and stuff.” Jamie sounds too sweet, too sincere, and it makes Jean grip the steering wheel a bit tighter as he parks in front of the house.
“You’re welcome. I’m glad you could come.” Jean loses his track of thought when Jamie smiles at him, happiness still in his veins.
Jamie opens the door. “Bye.”
“We should hang out more. I’ll see you later.” It comes out abruptly, almost in a panic. Jean wonders how much of it he means and how much of Jamie believes. Just because someone says that, doesn’t mean they will, or care to.
Jean feels honest when he says it, and he has a strange hopefulness Jamie thinks so too.
When Jamie is in the house, Jean doesn’t leave right away. He forces himself eventually, when he can’t think of a proper excuse as to why he’s sitting around.
He’ll see Jamie Monday.
He speeds off, and it’s not until he’s already home he realizes he’s been listening to silence the whole drive there.