Status: Completed
Psyche
13
You think people don’t see?
Jamie wonders if Jean notices anything, since Alexandria says it’s so obvious. He must not because – no, that’s not right, maybe he does. Sometimes Jean acts like he wants to say something, be persisted like Alexandria, but Jamie always looks away when he does and maybe Jean just loses his nerves to ask. It’s easier to think Jean doesn’t see anything. He doesn’t want him to worry.
When Jamie visits Jean they don’t do much. Jean shows off the new Flying V bass he bought, and then lets Jamie try out his old skateboard he found. When that gets too boring, they come back inside for hot tea and lie lazily on the livingroom floor. Jean is sitting close to Jamie, tinkering with his guitar, and mumbling some verses under his breath.
Jean suddenly touches Jamie’s back, and Jamie briefly questions if they will ever get to that point where Jean wants to see more of him, wants to touch him everywhere his clothes cover.
He can never let that happen.
Jean kisses him and his mouth tastes like the extra sugar he dumped in his tea.
“Sometimes I don’t understand what I feel for you,” Jean says, then bites his lip as if maybe he should’ve kept that thought in his mind. “I -- I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’ve been out of commission for awhile.” Jamie laughs so Jean will stop panicking.
“I know what I feel for you. That’s all that matters,” says Jean.
Jamie wonders if Jean will think the same thing the day he ever decides he loves Jamie.
Or, since Zack is right about everything, Jean will leave him like Jamie’s mother left because she couldn’t bear the thought of raising a child with a messed up body. Girlie lied to him. It’s not that his mom couldn’t take care of him, it’s because she didn’t want him.
Girlie doesn’t care. She doesn’t see anything if it’s not perfect. She loves Zack too much to see faults. She loves Jamie too much to see messed up flaws. Zack is right when he says Jamie can never tell or show himself to Jean fully. Jean will be revolted.
Jamie’s already scaring Jean with his screwed up head. He doesn’t need to add something else to the cause.
More things come to mind till his brain throbs.
“Jamie . . . you look sad.”
“It’s nothing.”
Jamie wonders if Jean notices anything, since Alexandria says it’s so obvious. He must not because – no, that’s not right, maybe he does. Sometimes Jean acts like he wants to say something, be persisted like Alexandria, but Jamie always looks away when he does and maybe Jean just loses his nerves to ask. It’s easier to think Jean doesn’t see anything. He doesn’t want him to worry.
When Jamie visits Jean they don’t do much. Jean shows off the new Flying V bass he bought, and then lets Jamie try out his old skateboard he found. When that gets too boring, they come back inside for hot tea and lie lazily on the livingroom floor. Jean is sitting close to Jamie, tinkering with his guitar, and mumbling some verses under his breath.
Jean suddenly touches Jamie’s back, and Jamie briefly questions if they will ever get to that point where Jean wants to see more of him, wants to touch him everywhere his clothes cover.
He can never let that happen.
Jean kisses him and his mouth tastes like the extra sugar he dumped in his tea.
“Sometimes I don’t understand what I feel for you,” Jean says, then bites his lip as if maybe he should’ve kept that thought in his mind. “I -- I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’ve been out of commission for awhile.” Jamie laughs so Jean will stop panicking.
“I know what I feel for you. That’s all that matters,” says Jean.
Jamie wonders if Jean will think the same thing the day he ever decides he loves Jamie.
Or, since Zack is right about everything, Jean will leave him like Jamie’s mother left because she couldn’t bear the thought of raising a child with a messed up body. Girlie lied to him. It’s not that his mom couldn’t take care of him, it’s because she didn’t want him.
Girlie doesn’t care. She doesn’t see anything if it’s not perfect. She loves Zack too much to see faults. She loves Jamie too much to see messed up flaws. Zack is right when he says Jamie can never tell or show himself to Jean fully. Jean will be revolted.
Jamie’s already scaring Jean with his screwed up head. He doesn’t need to add something else to the cause.
More things come to mind till his brain throbs.
“Jamie . . . you look sad.”
“It’s nothing.”