Status: Completed
Psyche
9
Jean skips school and then band practice that afternoon. It’s only the second practice he’s missed, and the guys understand, even though they have a show to get ready for later in the week. Jean’s somewhat dreading the show. He can’t show up to play crap and he needs time for his brain to come back down, so he can sing and write songs that aren’t trash.
He’s been in the house for too long and he knows he needs to get out. Go walk around downtown, go to the park, go somewhere, because staying in all day “just isn’t healthy,” his mother says.
He drives around the neighborhood for a bit before stopping at Loose Park. He parks near the playground and starts following the jogging trail. People are laughing loudly and everything is covered by the sun’s rays, yellow and cheery. It’s mocking him. It seems cruel that today should look so happy, and he wants something bad to happen just so it’d turn a little dark.
He’s standing by the pond and looking at his dreadful image when his cellphone rings noisily. The sudden sound causes him to jump, making a passing jogger peer at him questioningly. Jean grins sheepishly and takes out his cell to glance at the screen.
His heart jumps to his throat and stays there.
******
“Jamie? Are you . . . are you okay?” Jean’s voice sounds old and scratched, like he hasn’t used it in forever. It feels too surreal to be speaking to him now. He doesn’t even know how long it’s been since he’s actually talked to Jamie.
Jamie speaks, low and soft as always, like everything is normal and what happened to him was no big deal. He tells Jean he’s missed him, and Jean asks why he did he try to kill himself. There’s a long pause that makes Jean think he’s lost connection until he hears Jamie breathing again.
Jean switches his phone to his other ear and glares at the torn tops of his shoes.
“But you’ve told Alexandria why,” Jean mutters. It’s a guess, a guess Jean knows is right when Jamie doesn’t deny it.
Jamie says, “I’m sorry.”
“There’s too many sorry people in the world.”
“You think I don’t trust you,” Jamie tells him, and Jean wants to say Yes, I do, ‘cause you don’t, but refrains from it.
”I can’t understand why you can’t tell me anything. I want to know you’re okay and that you’re not lying when you say it.”
“I’m never okay.” The sentence is abrupt and out of place, more like a thought Jamie was thinking and didn’t mean to say outloud. “I want to see you.”
“. . . I’ll be over in fifteen,” Jean tells him, and he swears Jamie is smiling against the phone.
He’s been in the house for too long and he knows he needs to get out. Go walk around downtown, go to the park, go somewhere, because staying in all day “just isn’t healthy,” his mother says.
He drives around the neighborhood for a bit before stopping at Loose Park. He parks near the playground and starts following the jogging trail. People are laughing loudly and everything is covered by the sun’s rays, yellow and cheery. It’s mocking him. It seems cruel that today should look so happy, and he wants something bad to happen just so it’d turn a little dark.
He’s standing by the pond and looking at his dreadful image when his cellphone rings noisily. The sudden sound causes him to jump, making a passing jogger peer at him questioningly. Jean grins sheepishly and takes out his cell to glance at the screen.
His heart jumps to his throat and stays there.
******
“Jamie? Are you . . . are you okay?” Jean’s voice sounds old and scratched, like he hasn’t used it in forever. It feels too surreal to be speaking to him now. He doesn’t even know how long it’s been since he’s actually talked to Jamie.
Jamie speaks, low and soft as always, like everything is normal and what happened to him was no big deal. He tells Jean he’s missed him, and Jean asks why he did he try to kill himself. There’s a long pause that makes Jean think he’s lost connection until he hears Jamie breathing again.
Jean switches his phone to his other ear and glares at the torn tops of his shoes.
“But you’ve told Alexandria why,” Jean mutters. It’s a guess, a guess Jean knows is right when Jamie doesn’t deny it.
Jamie says, “I’m sorry.”
“There’s too many sorry people in the world.”
“You think I don’t trust you,” Jamie tells him, and Jean wants to say Yes, I do, ‘cause you don’t, but refrains from it.
”I can’t understand why you can’t tell me anything. I want to know you’re okay and that you’re not lying when you say it.”
“I’m never okay.” The sentence is abrupt and out of place, more like a thought Jamie was thinking and didn’t mean to say outloud. “I want to see you.”
“. . . I’ll be over in fifteen,” Jean tells him, and he swears Jamie is smiling against the phone.
♠ ♠ ♠
Oh hey.Hope you kiddies have a nice Halloween ♥