Psyche

The day Jamie is leaving is the day Alexandria leaves a letter in the mailbox. It has his name on the back and in a corner she’s scrawled: I wish I could be there to see you off, but know that I’m thinking of you. Read this when you can. – Alexandria.

Just that little note calms the anxiety in him, and he holds onto it till he’s in the car and ready to go to Solstice.

He’ll be in a strange, brown-bricked building surrounded by kids his own age and some younger. He’ll feel out of place and not be able to relate to anyone. He doesn’t know how he’s supposed to interact with the people there or how he’s supposed to talk with bunch of kids who are probably just as or more messed up than he is. And if he does horribly they might make him stay there longer, or ship him out somewhere else.

When his thoughts refuse to not be negative he decides to reads Alexandria’s letter. He doesn't expect it to be much, but when he sees it's more than he thought it would be, he wishes she was there so he can tell her You're perfect and I'm sorry I never appreciated you enough.

*******

Jamie,

I wish I could’ve told you all this face to face, but I guess a letter will have to do. I think it’ll sound better. I’ll try not to babble too long.

You know, I’ve had some friends before. But we weren’t really close and I’d only talk to them at school. I had a sort of “best friend” once, but it didn't last long. Maybe I just have high expectations, but I've always wanted the kind of best friend I hear people talk about so much with dreamy looks on their faces that I wanted to slap off. I couldn’t get it though. I started to think maybe I wasn’t meant for that kind of stuff and friendships were just overrated.

And then I met you and it's been the weirdest friendship ever.

I don't care what you say but you are a good friend. I find it so weird that you’re still my friend, considering how demanding and annoying I can be. You’re so quiet and shy and like to keep things to yourself and I’m always trying to force you to tell me something or do something. I know it’s irritating. I know I should back off sometimes. I can't help it. It's probably why people don’t like being around me. I don’t see how you can put up with me.

You stick up for me. You forgive me so easily when you shouldn't.

When I asked you if you wanted to be my friend, I didn't think you'd say yes. I didn't think you'd stick with me after a few weeks. I wasn't sure we’d last long. But you’re still here. You have no idea how happy that makes me feel. I hope you feel the same.

There’s one thing I have to tell you though. Remember that girl Sierra we ran into from forever ago at the store? The one I said I hated because she said something about my mom?

I don’t know how she knew (or maybe it was obvious to everyone and I was oblivious) but Sierra knew that my mom abused me. I don’t remember what I did for her to say this, but she had said, “No wonder your mom doesn’t like you and beats you up.” I punched her in the face and was suspended. That was in the 5th grade.

A month after that my dad finally managed to get custody of me and we moved. My mom got jail time and I haven’t seen her since then. I guess that’s the reason why I’m the kind of person I am now. I know how that “keep silent and just don’t think about it” thing works. I don’t want you to feel alone.

So that’s why I’ll always be here for you
.
I love you Jamie. Thank you for everything.

Love,
Alexandria