Status: Completed
Psyche
2
Here’s the thing: Ellisha and Lewis love Jean and all, but sometimes the guy makes them what to physically punch some sense into him and usually they’re not that violent. Lewis isn’t at least. Ellisha's different.
The band’s been trying to pin this one song down for two days now, and so far they’re getting nowhere with Jean lagging behind.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, man?” Ellisha fumes, wondering how hard he can hit Jean on the head with his guitar without giving him a concussion.
Jean stops singing and slowly says, “Huh?”
“You. What’s going on?”
Jean calmly answers, “Nothing.”
“You’ve been acting weird for a long time now,” Lewis says. “Really, what’s going on?”
“Are you doing drugs?” Ellisha chimes. “’Cause if you are, you can tell us. We’re not gonna condemn you or anything.” The choice of words is suppose to be funny, yet the expression on Ellisha’s face says he’s being serious.
“I’m not doing anything,” Jean reassures them. “Trust me. You’d know.” He grabs a waterbottle from the cooler and drops onto the floor, sprawling on his back.
“So what? Family problems, then?” Ellisha adds, and Jean feels like throwing the bottle at Ellisha’s gigantic head.
“No, it’s just – some stuff’s been going on lately. It’s nothing. Sorry for being a screw up. I’ll be better.”
Silence settles in. Lewis walks to the stairs, quietly suggesting they take a break and get something to eat. Ellisha follows, but Jean stays behind.
He wants to tell them but they wouldn’t understand.
This is why (and he doesn’t want to but he needs to) he ends up texting Alexandria and asking if he can come over.
*****
When Alexandria answers the door, Jean feels like a little kid coming to ask her about the baseball he accidentally threw through her window. He avoids looking at her face and looks at her feet instead. ”Hey,” she says before he can. She opens the door wider for him to come in and then points to the couch. “Have a sit. Want anything to drink?”
He shakes his head and asks about her dad instead. “He had to go get something from the store. Don’t worry. He’s not hiding and waiting to attack you.”
While Jean’s laughing dryly she asks, “How are you?”
”Cool, I guess.” He doesn’t even know what to say. “Um, how’s ---?”
“Girlie told me he’s doing fine. I haven’t spoken to him since he’s left.” There’s a little daze floating in her eyes, her fondness showing for Jamie. Jean coughs, his face feeling like it’s in an oven.
It takes a few minutes for him to finally say, “Sorry I was such an ass to you.”
“It’s fine. I’m not mad at you.”
“I messed up,” he blurts before he loses his courage. “I messed up with him and I don’t know if I can fix it.”
He waits for her to slap his shoulder and yell Oh really? but she never does. “Whatever happened, it’ll pass. If you’re worrying about him hating you, I really doubt it. I don’t think he does,” she says. “When he comes home, maybe most things will be all right and you two will be cool again.”
“You sound so sure of yourself,” It comes out as a snarl instead of the hopeful tone Jean was aiming for.
“It’s just a feeling. And there’s no point dwelling on the negative side.”
“I love him.”
He doesn’t look at her to see her reaction, only feels her scoot closer to him. Her arm goes around his shoulders and she pulls him against her. He doesn’t reject it and holds his breath.
“And I know he loves you,” she hums.
Jean wants to ask, again, how can she be so sure, but he doesn’t. He lets her hold him, and he can feel her small heart beating against his shoulder.
The band’s been trying to pin this one song down for two days now, and so far they’re getting nowhere with Jean lagging behind.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, man?” Ellisha fumes, wondering how hard he can hit Jean on the head with his guitar without giving him a concussion.
Jean stops singing and slowly says, “Huh?”
“You. What’s going on?”
Jean calmly answers, “Nothing.”
“You’ve been acting weird for a long time now,” Lewis says. “Really, what’s going on?”
“Are you doing drugs?” Ellisha chimes. “’Cause if you are, you can tell us. We’re not gonna condemn you or anything.” The choice of words is suppose to be funny, yet the expression on Ellisha’s face says he’s being serious.
“I’m not doing anything,” Jean reassures them. “Trust me. You’d know.” He grabs a waterbottle from the cooler and drops onto the floor, sprawling on his back.
“So what? Family problems, then?” Ellisha adds, and Jean feels like throwing the bottle at Ellisha’s gigantic head.
“No, it’s just – some stuff’s been going on lately. It’s nothing. Sorry for being a screw up. I’ll be better.”
Silence settles in. Lewis walks to the stairs, quietly suggesting they take a break and get something to eat. Ellisha follows, but Jean stays behind.
He wants to tell them but they wouldn’t understand.
This is why (and he doesn’t want to but he needs to) he ends up texting Alexandria and asking if he can come over.
*****
When Alexandria answers the door, Jean feels like a little kid coming to ask her about the baseball he accidentally threw through her window. He avoids looking at her face and looks at her feet instead. ”Hey,” she says before he can. She opens the door wider for him to come in and then points to the couch. “Have a sit. Want anything to drink?”
He shakes his head and asks about her dad instead. “He had to go get something from the store. Don’t worry. He’s not hiding and waiting to attack you.”
While Jean’s laughing dryly she asks, “How are you?”
”Cool, I guess.” He doesn’t even know what to say. “Um, how’s ---?”
“Girlie told me he’s doing fine. I haven’t spoken to him since he’s left.” There’s a little daze floating in her eyes, her fondness showing for Jamie. Jean coughs, his face feeling like it’s in an oven.
It takes a few minutes for him to finally say, “Sorry I was such an ass to you.”
“It’s fine. I’m not mad at you.”
“I messed up,” he blurts before he loses his courage. “I messed up with him and I don’t know if I can fix it.”
He waits for her to slap his shoulder and yell Oh really? but she never does. “Whatever happened, it’ll pass. If you’re worrying about him hating you, I really doubt it. I don’t think he does,” she says. “When he comes home, maybe most things will be all right and you two will be cool again.”
“You sound so sure of yourself,” It comes out as a snarl instead of the hopeful tone Jean was aiming for.
“It’s just a feeling. And there’s no point dwelling on the negative side.”
“I love him.”
He doesn’t look at her to see her reaction, only feels her scoot closer to him. Her arm goes around his shoulders and she pulls him against her. He doesn’t reject it and holds his breath.
“And I know he loves you,” she hums.
Jean wants to ask, again, how can she be so sure, but he doesn’t. He lets her hold him, and he can feel her small heart beating against his shoulder.
♠ ♠ ♠
Marigold // Nirvana