Remember
I've met so many men, it's like they're all the same.
Riktor quietly pulled Rhys away, saying they should 'give us some privacy.' Andy takes a seat next to me, and I try to forget that he is physically next to me; trying to tell myself it is all a dream so I don't get into a state of ecstasy over it.
I feel him heave a sigh, his arm brushing against mine before speaking, "I'm sorry." I shake my head, not really wanting to hear excuses. Too bad it would be rude to just leave, I think, keeping my eyes anywhere away from him. "I know, you're mad, and I don't blame you." I nod my head, letting him know I am still listening. I feel him shift, his leg pressing against mine as he turns to face me. "Addison, please look at me?" My lip is taken between my teeth, hoping to bite back the tears that threaten to fall. My eyes scan the crowds of people, some turning their attention to us with wide eyes. I knew this would happen, I think before standing up.
Turning my attention to Andy, really looking at him for the first time since he acknowledged my existence, and I feel like it was a mistake. Looking at him, taking in the handsome creature before me.. Why can't you just feel the same? As groups of people started making their way toward us, wanting to meet the Andy Biersack, I look away, speaking my mind once more, "I get it, you're famous now, and I'm a nobody." I turn my attention back to him, smiling sadly I say, "I'm glad you made it," and turn, walking away from him. Ignoring his calls to me, I allow the fans to crowd him, and start my search for Riktor or Rhys- someone, anyone whose name isn't Andrew.
All the while I'm searching, tears stream down my cheeks, and my mind is clouded with regret. He was right there- right in front of me, and I let him go. I sent him off. I bit my lip hard, trying to stop the tears- stop the thoughts. Now I'll never have him, I think, quickly adding on, Not that I ever would anyway. People walking around give me strange looks, a few stopping to make sure I'm all-right. To those few, I smile sadly, letting them know I'll be fine. They all look at me disbelieving, but allow me to continue walking.
It doesn't take me as long as I had figured it would to find Riktor, he is waiting with Rhys at the Paramore booth. As soon as Riktor sees my sorrow-filled features drenched in my own tears, he runs to me, engulfing me in a tight, reassuring hug. "What'd he do?" he whispers in my ear, automatically assuming all this was over something Andy done. I suppose, deep down I knew he would blame Andy, but I don't. I blame myself. I got in the way, that's why he left to become famous without another word to me, and when Riktor pulled him back into my life, no matter how much he seemed to want to be there, I refused to allow it to happen. It's my fault! I blame no-one but me for this mess. I'm the one that caused it.
I sigh, resting my head on Riktor's shoulder, allowing the tears to continue flowing. He doesn't seem to mind that I'm soaking his shirt, or that he'll look odd with one spot wet while the rest is dry. He doesn't care about all the superficial things as long as- in some way- he's helping me. I know this because that's just how he is.
Rhys comes closer to us, concern shining in his eyes as he rubs my back in a soothing motion. I smile softly at him, sniffling slightly but refusing to let my grip on Riktor faltering. "Can I go talk to him?" At the sound of Riktor's words fear strikes me to the core. I don't want to disappoint Riktor and I know that will happen when he finds out all this is my fault. As bad as it is, I'd rather him be mad at Andy; I'd rather he believe this was all Andy's fault. I nod anyway, ignoring the fear within me and detach myself from Riktor.
Looking over at Rhys, I open my arms wanting a hug, feeling unsure over how he'll react to it. Rhys smiles a kind, attractive smile before pulling me into a hug. "Thank you," I whisper, my voice sounding incredibly small. I wrap my arms around him, enjoying the feeling of his arms around me as I rest my head on his chest.
"It's no problem. Sometimes you just need to know someone is there, and plus, guys are dicks." I giggled softly at his words knowing that, for the most part, it's true- guys are 'dicks.'
I feel him heave a sigh, his arm brushing against mine before speaking, "I'm sorry." I shake my head, not really wanting to hear excuses. Too bad it would be rude to just leave, I think, keeping my eyes anywhere away from him. "I know, you're mad, and I don't blame you." I nod my head, letting him know I am still listening. I feel him shift, his leg pressing against mine as he turns to face me. "Addison, please look at me?" My lip is taken between my teeth, hoping to bite back the tears that threaten to fall. My eyes scan the crowds of people, some turning their attention to us with wide eyes. I knew this would happen, I think before standing up.
Turning my attention to Andy, really looking at him for the first time since he acknowledged my existence, and I feel like it was a mistake. Looking at him, taking in the handsome creature before me.. Why can't you just feel the same? As groups of people started making their way toward us, wanting to meet the Andy Biersack, I look away, speaking my mind once more, "I get it, you're famous now, and I'm a nobody." I turn my attention back to him, smiling sadly I say, "I'm glad you made it," and turn, walking away from him. Ignoring his calls to me, I allow the fans to crowd him, and start my search for Riktor or Rhys- someone, anyone whose name isn't Andrew.
All the while I'm searching, tears stream down my cheeks, and my mind is clouded with regret. He was right there- right in front of me, and I let him go. I sent him off. I bit my lip hard, trying to stop the tears- stop the thoughts. Now I'll never have him, I think, quickly adding on, Not that I ever would anyway. People walking around give me strange looks, a few stopping to make sure I'm all-right. To those few, I smile sadly, letting them know I'll be fine. They all look at me disbelieving, but allow me to continue walking.
It doesn't take me as long as I had figured it would to find Riktor, he is waiting with Rhys at the Paramore booth. As soon as Riktor sees my sorrow-filled features drenched in my own tears, he runs to me, engulfing me in a tight, reassuring hug. "What'd he do?" he whispers in my ear, automatically assuming all this was over something Andy done. I suppose, deep down I knew he would blame Andy, but I don't. I blame myself. I got in the way, that's why he left to become famous without another word to me, and when Riktor pulled him back into my life, no matter how much he seemed to want to be there, I refused to allow it to happen. It's my fault! I blame no-one but me for this mess. I'm the one that caused it.
I sigh, resting my head on Riktor's shoulder, allowing the tears to continue flowing. He doesn't seem to mind that I'm soaking his shirt, or that he'll look odd with one spot wet while the rest is dry. He doesn't care about all the superficial things as long as- in some way- he's helping me. I know this because that's just how he is.
Rhys comes closer to us, concern shining in his eyes as he rubs my back in a soothing motion. I smile softly at him, sniffling slightly but refusing to let my grip on Riktor faltering. "Can I go talk to him?" At the sound of Riktor's words fear strikes me to the core. I don't want to disappoint Riktor and I know that will happen when he finds out all this is my fault. As bad as it is, I'd rather him be mad at Andy; I'd rather he believe this was all Andy's fault. I nod anyway, ignoring the fear within me and detach myself from Riktor.
Looking over at Rhys, I open my arms wanting a hug, feeling unsure over how he'll react to it. Rhys smiles a kind, attractive smile before pulling me into a hug. "Thank you," I whisper, my voice sounding incredibly small. I wrap my arms around him, enjoying the feeling of his arms around me as I rest my head on his chest.
"It's no problem. Sometimes you just need to know someone is there, and plus, guys are dicks." I giggled softly at his words knowing that, for the most part, it's true- guys are 'dicks.'
♠ ♠ ♠
title credit: i'm real - the starting linethank you to the following for commenting:
Lollipops. (i always get so excited when you say something positive about my story ♥)
Durch-Den-Monsun-87 (hehe maybe just a little on the odd side xp)
The Mini Monster (i hope i dont disappoint you!)
Aurielle (thank you. i want him to seem as real as possible. i always fear im making him seem too... storybook)
WatchesFromShadows
MurderInkorporated. (youre right. rhys does have a purpose and everyone will find it out within the next couple chapters if all goes according to plan)
bloodyvengeance (hehe im glad i can be an exception xD)
arishikun
ItsMyChemicalBabii
Purple Nightmares (thanks for the offer but im really not trying to make him realistic. andy's character needs to act a certain way to work with the story but really thanks a lot. maybe for my next fic ill beg for your help xD)
o o i think thats the most comments ive gotten on one chapter thus fair. thanks guys!
of course thank you to everyone for reading and subscribing. you guys make me so happy you have no idea. <3