Mistakes of the Heart

“What the-” I say groggily, as I begin to open my eyes.

I wake up to find myself in an unfamiliar bed with the same clothes I wore last night. I try to prop myself up to get a better look around, but fail miserably. The moment I try to move, my head starts throbbing and pain shoots throughout my entire body. I feel like shit, to say the least.

“What happened last night?” I question out loud.

That’s when I start to panic. What happened? I try to go through the events of last night, and the last thing I remember is dancing with Tanner. I don’t even remember how or why I got here. I attempt to get up again, but I know the moment I stand up, there's a strong possibility that I'll collapse to the ground. I take in my surroundings and I realize that the room looks similar to mine. The only difference is that it's obviously a guy's room.

That’s when it hits me. I'm in a guy’s room; no scratch that – a guy’s bed! Did I do the unthinkable last night?

Oh my god!

I begin to breath heavily. If I did, what I think I did, then I don’t even remember who it was.

OH MY GOD!

I had sex with some random guy! I felt like knocking my head against a wall. I could only think of one thing: Who was it?

I'm interrupted from my panic attack by the sound of the door opening. That’s when I see Mr. Johnson walk through only in his boxers, revealing his toned chest and arms. Of course, here I am caught staring at him again. I can tell he recently woke up, and probably didn't expect to find me awake.

Damn, why did he have to look so good?! I mentally slap myself for shamelessly checking him out, for the hundredth time. I'm supposed to be mad at him, but wait a minute! Did I sleep with MR. JOHNSON? Oh, shit. Shit, shit, shitty, shit, shit.

I think he notices my stunned expression and says, “ You are awake. I didn't expect you to be up for a few more hours.” I was too distracted checking him out to answer back. He smirks at me and asks, “Like what you see?”

I roll my eyes and mumble, “Narcissistic asshole.” I grab the glass of water and aspirin that I just noticed he was holding out for me. If only I could get rid of this annoying headache, I think to myself.

“Is that anyway to be treating me? I mean, especially after last night?” Ugh! I wish I could at least remember. It doesn’t help that he's rubbing it in my face.

“I just want to say that I was extremely drunk, and I can’t really take responsibility for my actions,” I say.

He just smirks and says, “Someone obviously has an alcohol problem.” If it wasn’t for my aching body and head, I would've showed him a real problem.

“I don’t remember what happened last night, but just know that it won’t ever happen again.” I take this moment to glare at him.

He began to give me a look of confusion, then he slowly started smiling.

“I just hope that one of us… err… enjoyed it.” I put my head down, embarrassed as hell.

Then out of nowhere, he begins to full out laugh at me. I immediately snap my head back up, and this time I'm the one who’s confused.

He finally begins to catch his breath and I angrily question, "Are you finished? I didn’t realize that I- ” he tries to cut me off by raising his hand in the air.

Too bad I just keep rambling, “and you know, I don’t appreciate you laughing at something-“

He tries to interrupts me again, but this time he says, “Melanie, stop.”

I cross my arms over my chest and snap at him saying, “What?”

"We didn’t have sex.” I immediately turn a deep shade of red.

All I manage was, “Oh.” I didn’t dare look at him because I knew he could see the embarrassment all over my face. Now, I feel like a complete idiot, but then what am I doing in his room?

As if he could read my mind, he said, “You had a lot to drink last night. A lot.”

“No shit Sherlock,” I yell, but then wince realizing that it wasn’t the best idea to yell.

He answers, “I understand you must be angry, especially from the Rohypnol-”

“Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What the hell do you mean the Rohypnol?”

“You really don’t remember what happened?” he asks.

I began to think about it, and I mean really think about it. I remember dancing with Tanner, and then feeling sick and going outside.

I start mumbling, “I know I was feeling really nauseous…” then it all came back to me in a flash. I went outside because of a drink Hayley gave me, and then there was this drunk guy. I remember him grabbing me, slapping me, and then try to… oh my god.

I didn’t realize, but I whispered, “He tried to rape me.” I immediately felt myself tense up.

I feel like such an idiot! I knew that I had a low tolerance for alcohol and I just kept drinking. He must have drugged my drink, and convinced Hayley to give it to me. God, I don’t even know his name. I felt disgusted that I let him dance with me. I shuttered from thoughts of what would have happened... if-if Mr. Johnson hadn't saved me. Why of all people did it have to be him to find me?

I just put my face in my hands and started cussing like crazy. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!

I didn’t even dare to look up at Mr. Johnson.

“ I’m sorry that I caused you so much trouble.” I mumbled.

"No, it's okay. I know part of this is my fault anyway," he insisted, staring down at me with a concerned look.

I looked at him confused now, and asked, "How is any of this your fault? You weren't the one chugging drinks down. Besides, if it wasn't for you, I could've been..."

He was shaking his head now. " I know, but you were angry about earlier-"

"Whoa! Don't think that you're the reason that I got drunk!" I interrupted.

"Oh, really? Then, why did you get completely wasted?" he asked accusingly.

"I don't have to have a reason. Maybe I just felt like it!" I retorted. I knew I sounded immature.

"For some reason, you don't strike me as the type to not have a reason." At this moment, I realize how close we are to each other. He was still sitting on the bed, staring down at me with his arms crossed at his chest. I could faintly smell the intoxicating scent of his cologne.

"First of all, why do you even care? You're the one who turned all bipolar on me!" I was shouting now.

"I knew you were angry at-"

"And what were you even doing there in the first place?" I yelled. I was not going to let him win.

His eyebrows were furrowed together and he looked perplexed.

"You're the one who's completely underage. And I may think you are annoying, but it is not like I want you to get hurt."

I was silenced now. All I could do was mumble, "Oh."

"I just don't get you." I added.

He moved closer to me while running his fingers through his messy hair.

"I just can't do this." he sighed.

"Do what?" I whispered back.

He gently moved a piece of loose hair behind my ear and placed a finger under my chin. Both of us were just gazing up at each other, not knowing what to do. This time, I knew for sure he was staring at my lips and - for some reason - I was staring back at his. My heart was beating so fast, but I knew this shouldn't be happening. He's my teacher! I'm not supposed to be feeling this way towards my teacher!

I tried to break eye contact, but he wouldn't let me. He placed his hands on each side of my face, and looked very concentrated. That's when he started to lean forward and I knew he was going to kiss me. There was no questioning it. I was frozen in shock. I wasn't even sure if I wanted this.

Did I?

His lips barely brushed mine, when my familiar ringtone started playing.

Our foreheads touched and I mumbled, "I should get that."

Yet, we just stayed paralyzed in our positions as it kept ringing aimlessly. After a minute, I decide to pick it up, since it wasn't really helping my pounding head.

"Hello?" I question, softer than I intend.

"Oh my god, Melanie! I was so worried! Are you okay? I swear I didn't realize the drink was drugged! I am so sorry-"

"Calm down, Hayley. There's nothing to worry about. I'm fine and it's okay." I interrupted while wincing from all her yelling.

"It's not okay! If something happened to you..." She kept rambling on. Honestly, I was completely distracted by Mr. Johnson and what almost happened.

I think he wanted to give me some time to talk and got up quickly. He started to rummage through his drawers until he found a pair of shorts and a shirt.

He turned to me and mouthed that he was going to leave the room. All I kept thinking about was how I would have reacted. Would I've kissed him back? I mean, I was in conflict because what if he did this all the time? What if I'm not the only girl? And lets not to forget he was a complete jerk and my TEACHER!

I was snapped out of my thoughts by Hayley saying, "Melanie, are you there?"

"Er... sorry, Hayley. I'm here."

"Alright, don't scare me like that! Oh, and where are you? Do you need me to pick you up?" she asked.

"No, you don't. I am fine."

"But-"

"There really isn't anything to worry about! Hayley, I have to go now, but I promise to talk to you later."

"Are you sure?" she urged.

"Positive." I proclaimed.

"Fine, but you better explain everything later."

" I will. Bye, Hayley." I hung up quickly, before she had a chance to say something else.

I took a deep breath. There is no way Mr. Johnson will be able to deny anything now.

Luckily, the aspirin kicked in enough for me to get out of bed. First, I went to the bathroom to freshen up. Looking into the mirror, I noticed I looked like a mess! I don't understand how Mr. Johnson could take me seriously. So, I quickly wiped off all my smeared makeup and threw my hair back into a ponytail. This would have to do for now.

I walked out of the bathroom and went through the bedroom door to find Mr. Johnson sitting on the couch drinking coffee.

I cleared my throat to get his attention. He looked up forming a crooked smile that disappeared within seconds.

"I better... um... go." I started awkwardly.

" Mel-"

I stopped him mid-sentence, "We can just forget about what happened, okay? I mean you're my teacher and I don't want to cause you any unnecessary trouble."

"You don't have to- "

Cutting him of once again I insisted, "It's fine. I'll just keep my distance. Now, I should go."

This time he didn't say anything, but just stared at me looking like he was trying to figure out what to say.

I made my way to the front door and started turning the knob, "Thank you for, you know, saving me." I forced a little smile.

He began to open his mouth to speak, but I slipped out before he could say something that would change my mind.

I checked around to see if anyone was in the hall and ran straight across to my room. Grateful that I remembered my purse, I found my key, opened my door, and fell onto my bed.

I just can’t do this. I still am dealing with the drama from California and I don’t need another thing to worry about. I did the right thing, didn’t I?