Sequel: Loose Ends ›
Status: active - updated every thursday :)
All for You
Aria Gaskarth.
I playfully stuck my tongue out at Flyzik as I jammed one of his headphones into my ear, snuggling up beside him. Jack was at an acoustic show with Lex and Rian, while Evan Skyped Eva and Andy and Zack were nowhere to be found. I tried not to be worried, but my babies were all gone … except Flyzik, and I knew where the rest of the crew was. They were either drinking or attempting to set up.
“Are you seriously listening to the Backstreet Boys or are you finally growing a pair of testicles?” I asked, and Flyzik winked at me, and I knew that today was one of “those” days. One of those days where I wasn't quite sure what we were. Best friends, or could I possibly have feelings for him?
“Oh, I don't know, Ar, you know I've got balls,” Matt said slyly, though did turn down the Backstreet Boys and replaced it with Simple Plan, like he was trying to impress me. Please, I thought, half the music on my iPod would scare you shitless. Which, was true. I liked to rock out, and that meant some intense music. Whatever, it wasn't like I cared what people thought of the sweet and innocent Aria.
“What, because you asked Tara Kinsley after liking her for, what, almost a year?” Matt stiffened, and I smirked, knowing I hit his soft spot. Tara and I had been friends, and I was also the reason they broke up, thought Matt refused to let me take the blame. I felt terrible, but I always teased him about it. He was his first real girlfriend. “That isn't balls, babe, balls is telling a girl she's gonna date you,” I say, and hand him the headphone back, wanting to go find Andy.
“You're so lucky I love you, Aria Gaskarth,” He hissed, and I gently pressed down on his spiked hair and kissed his forehead before chewing on my lip.
“Have you seen Andy?” I ask, and Matt shrugs, though to his credit, he hardly looks up from his iPod, which is covered with a mixture of stickers and nail polish, the former from shows he had seen and places he worked, the latter from when I hung out with him and he tackled me. Oops.
“Last time I saw her she was watching a movie with Zack in the front lounge, so check there.” I furrowed my brow. She told me she was going to go see the acoustic show. Could it be over already and Jack was wandering, or was Andy lying? It didn't really matter, but I still wanted to see my sister, so without even thinking about it, I walked into the front lounge.
Just to see my sister making out with Zack fucking Merrick.
I hardly remember what I did next, but I remember screaming and attempting to claw at Zack's face, as well as being held back by Flyzik, who had my arms pinned behind me as Andy huddled in the corner. “Nu uh, buddy, no one fucking touches my sister,” I spat, and Flyzik gently puts me down after about ten minutes, when I've all run out of energy. I sprawl, unaware of anything except for Andy's quiet throat clear.
“Can you guys leave us alone for a sec?” She said, sounding so much more mature than I was acting right now. What can I say? I was scared, and more than anything, that's my little sister. No one gets to fuck with her but me, and well, Zack was basically shoving his tongue down her throat, and that shit is nasty, especially for her. Oh yeah, and uh, it's illegal.
Andy said nothing for awhile, simply sitting across from me with her arms crossed. Finally, she spoke. “Seriously, Aria? What are you, eight?” She shook her head. “And I thought I was the one with anger issues.” Her voice was curt, but the words stung.
“I don't have anger issues.” I rolled my eyes, like the idea was ludicrous. “I just prefer to solve my problems physically than with words.”
“You do suck at words.” It wasn't a joke. Andy's face showed that. But I saw how her eyes were filling up with tears, and I knew I fucked up. “I get it, okay, Aria? It's illegal, and yeah, he's fucking older than me. But I'm HAPPY with him. Can't you please just support that?” Her voice was pleading.
“Andy I can't watch you get hurt.” The words were true, honest, and coming straight from my heart, which was still trying to pump enough blood to my numb fingers, which I kept flexing involuntarily. I watched as Andy's eyes averted.
“How do you know I'm going to get hurt, Aria? Don't you think I know this is a risk? And did you ever think that maybe, after all this time of fucking up my life and getting arrested, I know when to take a risk?” Her voice was hushed and quiet, and she sounded like I had just punched her puppy. And that broke my heart. I was her older sister. I was supposed to protect her, not hurt her.
I looked down at my toes, in need of a pedicure. “I'm sorry, okay? I just … I don't want you to get in trouble. I'm looking out for you. But I won't say anything.” I stand to get up, knowing that I truly fuck everything up, and what was the point? Fuck it, I'm tired, and I wanna go home. “But just know, if you get caught, don't come running back to me.”
I regret those words more than anything else.
“Are you seriously listening to the Backstreet Boys or are you finally growing a pair of testicles?” I asked, and Flyzik winked at me, and I knew that today was one of “those” days. One of those days where I wasn't quite sure what we were. Best friends, or could I possibly have feelings for him?
“Oh, I don't know, Ar, you know I've got balls,” Matt said slyly, though did turn down the Backstreet Boys and replaced it with Simple Plan, like he was trying to impress me. Please, I thought, half the music on my iPod would scare you shitless. Which, was true. I liked to rock out, and that meant some intense music. Whatever, it wasn't like I cared what people thought of the sweet and innocent Aria.
“What, because you asked Tara Kinsley after liking her for, what, almost a year?” Matt stiffened, and I smirked, knowing I hit his soft spot. Tara and I had been friends, and I was also the reason they broke up, thought Matt refused to let me take the blame. I felt terrible, but I always teased him about it. He was his first real girlfriend. “That isn't balls, babe, balls is telling a girl she's gonna date you,” I say, and hand him the headphone back, wanting to go find Andy.
“You're so lucky I love you, Aria Gaskarth,” He hissed, and I gently pressed down on his spiked hair and kissed his forehead before chewing on my lip.
“Have you seen Andy?” I ask, and Matt shrugs, though to his credit, he hardly looks up from his iPod, which is covered with a mixture of stickers and nail polish, the former from shows he had seen and places he worked, the latter from when I hung out with him and he tackled me. Oops.
“Last time I saw her she was watching a movie with Zack in the front lounge, so check there.” I furrowed my brow. She told me she was going to go see the acoustic show. Could it be over already and Jack was wandering, or was Andy lying? It didn't really matter, but I still wanted to see my sister, so without even thinking about it, I walked into the front lounge.
Just to see my sister making out with Zack fucking Merrick.
I hardly remember what I did next, but I remember screaming and attempting to claw at Zack's face, as well as being held back by Flyzik, who had my arms pinned behind me as Andy huddled in the corner. “Nu uh, buddy, no one fucking touches my sister,” I spat, and Flyzik gently puts me down after about ten minutes, when I've all run out of energy. I sprawl, unaware of anything except for Andy's quiet throat clear.
“Can you guys leave us alone for a sec?” She said, sounding so much more mature than I was acting right now. What can I say? I was scared, and more than anything, that's my little sister. No one gets to fuck with her but me, and well, Zack was basically shoving his tongue down her throat, and that shit is nasty, especially for her. Oh yeah, and uh, it's illegal.
Andy said nothing for awhile, simply sitting across from me with her arms crossed. Finally, she spoke. “Seriously, Aria? What are you, eight?” She shook her head. “And I thought I was the one with anger issues.” Her voice was curt, but the words stung.
“I don't have anger issues.” I rolled my eyes, like the idea was ludicrous. “I just prefer to solve my problems physically than with words.”
“You do suck at words.” It wasn't a joke. Andy's face showed that. But I saw how her eyes were filling up with tears, and I knew I fucked up. “I get it, okay, Aria? It's illegal, and yeah, he's fucking older than me. But I'm HAPPY with him. Can't you please just support that?” Her voice was pleading.
“Andy I can't watch you get hurt.” The words were true, honest, and coming straight from my heart, which was still trying to pump enough blood to my numb fingers, which I kept flexing involuntarily. I watched as Andy's eyes averted.
“How do you know I'm going to get hurt, Aria? Don't you think I know this is a risk? And did you ever think that maybe, after all this time of fucking up my life and getting arrested, I know when to take a risk?” Her voice was hushed and quiet, and she sounded like I had just punched her puppy. And that broke my heart. I was her older sister. I was supposed to protect her, not hurt her.
I looked down at my toes, in need of a pedicure. “I'm sorry, okay? I just … I don't want you to get in trouble. I'm looking out for you. But I won't say anything.” I stand to get up, knowing that I truly fuck everything up, and what was the point? Fuck it, I'm tired, and I wanna go home. “But just know, if you get caught, don't come running back to me.”
I regret those words more than anything else.