All for You

Jack shoved me up against the wall of his empty hotel room, which was hardly unusual- his roommates were Danny Kurily and Vinny, who were notorious for their partying. Jack had his hands tightly around my bony waist, squeezing as he pushed me harder and harder against the wall. My hands were lost in the purposefully messy tangle of black and blonde hair, my kisses becoming sloppier and sloppier as the champagnge, abandoned on the beside table, hit my stomach.

Jack moaned quietly against my lips, and I disentangled my hands from his hair, reaching instead for the bottom of his button up shirt, my shaking fingers fumbling for the buttons, practically snapping them off the shirt with the force. He laughed against my lips, kissing my neck right behind my ear – causing a tingling feeling I had felt plenty of times before, but had never chosen to act on.

I smiled as I slid the shirt off him, carefully touching the tattoo on his chest, causing him to wince slightly. I knew what a new tattoo felt like, and it was painful at times. He looked at me, shaking his head slightly as he pressed his forehead to mine. “Fuck, Aria,” He muttered, and I laughed slightly, gently biting his nose before moving to his neck, which was so easy to bruise.

His hands roamed from my chest back down to my waist, his fingers fumbling for the bottom of my dress, practically ripping it off my body. He smelled of alcohol and my favorite cologne, something by Gucci. Pushing myself off the wall, I pushed him onto his bed, the one closest to the wall, and he raised his brows at me, suddenly looking nervous, despite the many drinks inside us both.

“Aria, are you sure?” He said quietly, his hands innocently on my hipbones as I sat across him, looking deep into those big brown eyes I loved so goddamn much. I thought about it for a fraction of a second before grabbing his hands in mine, kissing his knuckles.

“I'm sure, Jack.” And I was. There was no one else that I trusted more, no one else in the history of all my sexual escapades that I wanted to have sex with more than I wanted to have sex with him. From the gentle way he smiled at me, like he was afraid of breaking me, to the way he kissed my neck because he knew I liked it, there was no one else I thought knew me well enough.

He still didn't look convinced, resting his hands on my thighs. “Aria, I just … I don't want you to regret this because … I care about you,” He said quietly, not quite meeting my eyes. Instead of responding to him, giving the delay he wanted to make sure this was okay, I pushed him down onto the bed.

- - - - -
I woke up four or so hours later, my head resting on Jack's bare chest as he cuddled me close, his chin resting on the top of my head. Danny and Vinny were passed out in the bed beside us, both snoring loudly. Jack kissed my forehead as he groggily opened his eyes, smiling at me.

He propped himself up on one elbow, his fingers tangling in my hair. “I love you, Aria,” He murmurs, kissing my forehead again as I made a face, joking with him, all the while trying to hide my smile. “I love you from the top of your head to the tips of your toes, and I want to wake up next to you every day for the rest of this meaningless life,” He whispered, grabbing my face to kiss me.

I wished that I had been able to shallow my shock that Jack, the master of manuevering around the idea of commitment and the hero of the argument that love was just brain chemistry, had told me he loved me. I wished with all of my heart that I had seen it coming, could have prepared for the fact that the man with more notches on his bedpost than anyone I knew, loved me.

I remembered when I first met him (when my clothes were on). He was at my house, sitting on the couch with a pizza box in his lap and a half drunk beer in his hand, his laughter echoing through my old house as he and the band played Xbox after a practice. I was making dinner for Alex and I, seeing as how my parents were rarely around, and Alex could burn water, let alone make roasted chicken.

But Jack had sauntered into my kitchen, looking for more beer, and smiled at me. “You're the girl who was going down on Marc at his party two weekends ago,” He said, and I blushed heavily, returning to my job. He kept going anyway, and I remember blushing furiously as he continued, his beautiful brown eyes boring into my back. “You're beautiful. Want to go out tomorrow night?”

“No, thank you,” I murmured quietly, adding water to make pilaf, and he smirked, leaning against the counter, opening a beer with his teeth.

“Are you sure?”

Those words kept echoing in my ears as Jack cuddled his head back into the space between my collarbone and shoulders, his lips grazing every inch of my skin that he could find. He had kept murmuring those scared “are you sure”s the night before, and it gave me a sinking feeling.

I brushed it off, kissing Jack gently, before trying to fall back asleep. But I couldn't, knowing that my shock at Jack loving me had prevented me from saying the most important thing of all.

That I loved him too.

I had barely shut my eyes again when Matt burst into the room, looking angry. Jack remained asleep, dead to the world, but Matt scoffed at me, as if I was sleeping with the enemy. I was barely functioning, my brain working a half beat after everyone else's as Matt began hissing under his breath. "Just thought you should know that Andy is currently on a plane back home. Nice work, asshole."