This Is How I Disappear

“Do you miss her?” She says with a nervous smile.

“Who?” Who am I kidding, I know exactly who she’s talking about.

“Helena”

“I’d prefer if we didn’t talk about her, okay?”

“Look, Frank, I know Helena and I weren’t the best friends, but I cared about her and-”

“I said I didn’t want to talk about it, Tess! Shut it!” Crap, I did it again.

“Sorry” She says and turns around, ready to just walk away.

“Tess, wait!” I walk towards her and grab her arm. “I didn’t mean to snap at you, it’s just-“

“You miss her”

“Yes. Yes I do”

“It’s okay. Everyone could see how much you two loved each other, how happy you guys were. It was like you were each other’s oxygen, you know? I was so jealous, and it still hurts… Knowing you’ll never love me like you loved her”

I let go of her arm, standing like an idiot just staring at her. I figured she has feelings for me after the whole ‘let’s have sex’ episode earlier, but knowing just how much she cares about me breaks my heart. I mean, I like her and she’s an amazing person, but I don’t want to give her the wrong impression. Tess is different from all the other girls I’ve been with this past five years; she’s much more real, so seeing her heartbroken over me would kill me.
“I’m sorry, Tess”

“Don’t worry about it” She says before she closes the door behind her.

I try my best to sleep, but my thoughts are occupied with the conversation that took place just a few minutes ago. Tess is right, she’s so fucking right; I’ll never love someone like loved Helena. I’ve been trying for years, dating lots of girls to see if someone can measure up to my Helena, but everyone failed the ‘test’. Fuck. I have to change. I can’t keep putting myself through this. I just can’t.
“Tess” I whisper through my closed bedroom door. It’s already noon and the kids are coming over in an hour. I hear light footsteps before the door opens. And I’m sorry, but I can’t stop myself from laughing.
“What?! You’re not exactly hot when you wake up either!”

“Sorry, I just... Oh God” I’m still laughing.

“Whatever, give me a second to get dressed before you kick me out”

“Your wish is my command… Troll”

“Shut up!” she yelled at me with a smirk on her face before she slammed the door in my face.

Whilst the troll’s getting dressed I decide to make her some breakfast. That’s the least I can do after last night’s dinner disaster. She likes scrambled eggs, right? Whatever, that’s what she’s getting!
“Did you sleep well?” I ask when she finally comes out of the bedroom with some weird secretary outfit.

“Very, thanks for asking”

“By the way, what’s up with the boring clothes?”

“Shut up, I have a job interview in half an hour”

“Oh, okay. Wait, you didn’t have clothes with you when you came over last night”

“Ever heard of a bag?” God, what women can fit into a bag. It’s impressive, to be honest.

“Sorry I can’t stay for breakfast, Frankie. Even though those scrambled eggs look quite interesting”

“Oh come on! I’m not that bad at cooking”

“You kind of are, sweetie. But I really got to go, see you later” She says before she runs out the door and it doesn’t take long before the kids arrive, one after one. Everyone but Jane.
“Hey Damian, have you seen Jane?”

“No”

“She wasn’t at school today?”

“Frankie, it’s Saturday”

“Oh, right. Well, we’ll just have to start without her then. If everyone could pick up their guitar I would be very grateful” I say with a firm voice. “Okay, on three; one, two, three…”