Smiling In Everything

"Hi, what can I get you?"

The family of five in front of me were looking over their menus, arguing over who should get to say their order first or if someone wanted to share the omelet with them. I tap my pencil against my order book, tapping my foot impatiently. I have just been so off of it today and having to wait here for this family to tell me what they want to eat was not helping.

Finally, I tell them I'll be back in a few minutes to give them more time and walk away. My patience was very thin today and I wasn't even on my period. I go back behind the counter, refilling a few people's coffee mugs who were at the stools.

The door chimes as someone walks in, and I turn to greet them.

"Sadie!" Rein smiles, removing her hat as she came in. Even after wearing something on her head, her hair was perfectly styled. She moves over to the counter, stopping in front of me.

"Hey, Rein," I say a bit uneasily, my smile wavering. She doesn't comment on it and pulls me into a hug, the smell of her Chanel perfume overwhelming my nose for a few seconds. Luckily, she pulled back quickly. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see if you were up for lunch," she answers, taking a seat on a stool. "As my Maid of Honor, you and I have a lot of planning to get through."

She's asking me out for lunch? I bite my bottom lip.

I really don't want to say yes. I know I agreed to be her Maid of Honor, but I didn't do it because I wanted to. I did it for Alex and Jack. Jack, because I knew he would want to know why I turned it down, and Alex, because I want to show him I support his marriage to Rein. Even though I really don't. So I take a deep breath, sucking it up, and know that even if this is the last thing I want to do, I have to do it for Alex.

"Sure," I try to give a warm smile back, but it felt plastic as it stretched my lips across my cheeks. "I get off for lunch in about an hour. How about I meet you at Olive Garden?" Rein ecstatically agrees, giving me another hug before leaving.

I watch her go, knowing my small rope of patience just snapped.



"So, what's up?" I ask as I sit across from Rein. She was wearing a wool pea-coat and black skinny jeans, a red scarf tied around her neck. The hat she had been wearing was on the table beside her, and I just noticed it was one of Alex's beanies. I scowl mentally.

She flips her perfect hair behind her shoulder. "I just wanted to go over the designs and stuff. I also have the dress narrowed down to three. I have pictures of them to show you."

I nod as she pulls out of her iPhone, opening up 3 pictures side by side.

"I really like the middle one, but Jamie thinks it would make her look fat, so I started second guessing. The one to the left is the one she likes, but I almost think it's too pink. And the one on the right is adorable, but the neckline would be showing off a lot of cleavage, you know? I really want the middle one, but Jamie and Tanya don't like it as much - "

"I think you should go with that one," I shrug. Rein raises her eyebrows. "It's your wedding, right? You should pick what your bridesmaids wear. And if they hate it, then too bad. This is your day. You need to be in control of what happens."

She was gaping at me. "You're right. You are so right. Thank you, Sadie."

I nod, forcing a smile over my lips. She tells me she needed to go freshen up and excuses herself. I watch her go, the smile immediately dropping from my face.

I can't do this anymore. I can't watch him marry her. I want him to be happy, of course, but I want him to be happy with me. The moment that thought enters my brain, I whisk it out. No, Rein is marrying Alex. Alex is marrying Rein. You are dating Jack. Jack is dating you. I cannot understand any circumstances try to ruin this. It would be so selfish of me.

I love Alex too much to take away his wedding day. That would just be taking it too far. And God knows I've already confused him enough. Maybe...maybe it's time for me to avoid him. I mean, I can stay as Rein's maid of honor, but maybe until the wedding, I need to stay away from Alex. But can I do that? Can I purposely avoid the man I'm in love with? I know it's hard when Jack goes on tour...can I do that with Alex?

Rein returned minutes later, ready to get back to wedding business.

After we ate, and after many discussions over what flower to put in her bouquet and if the groomsmen's ties should match the dresses, she bid me goodbye. She said we would meet later in the week to discuss venues and we left it at that.

She had sent me the picture of the dress we had agreed on, and I couldn't help but admire it. It was my favorite out of the bunch, and I was glad she had chosen it.

I was still looking at it when I got home.

I was still looking at it when Jack kissed me on the forehead and asked me how my day went.

I was still looking at it when I lied down to go to bed that night.

Because it reminded me that this wedding was very real, really happening. And that made my heart plummet six feet under.