Smiling In Everything

"So," Jack says as we walk toward his car in the parking lot, "what did you think of Alex's and Rein's news?" He looks over at me, raising his eyebrows. I had winced at the mention of his name, but I pass it off as cramp pains.

"I was excited," I say, plastering that fake smile on my face again. I felt like it would be permanently etched there. "It's nice to hear those two are tying the knot." More lies.

"I know, right?" Jack smiles. "They're so cute together."

I don't answer as we get in the car, flipping through the radio channels until I found a good one. Once we were on the road, I ease myself against the seat. I have to stop thinking about Alex; this has been going on for too long. I'm with Jack and no one else. I love Jack and no one else. I want Jack and no one else.

I recite those three lines in my head over and over again until they were glued to my brain. Jack drove us home, my mind continuing to play those words I memorized like a movie in my head. As we walk up to the door, I had finally convinced myself.

"We're having the engagement party tonight at Alex's house," he tells me as I set down my purse, removing the Converse from my feet. "Do you wanna go?"

"Obviously," I grin. "He's our best friend. We're obligated to."

Jack laughs, walking over to me and wrapping his arms around my waist. More guilt flashes through me. "It's not our duty to show up," Jack says, pecking my lips once. "Just because I'm in the same band as him doesn't necessarily mean I have to talk to him. He's not even on my mind right now." A smile lights up his face as he hovers above me. "You're on my mind right now."

I smile at his sweetness, shoving Alex to the very back of my brain so he was smudged in a dark corner. "You're on my mind too," I reply, getting on my tip-toes so we were barely eye-level. He kisses me again, backing me against the nearest wall.

But before anything could happen, the front door opens.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," a voice says, causing Jack and I to disconnect, "none of that in while we're here. Save that for the bedroom." Alex winks over at us.

I grimace. I had just gotten that fucker out of my head, and he just had to appear at our house. "We gave you a key for emergencies," I throw at him, trying to keep the biting tone out of my voice. "Not to just randomly walk in when we're home."

"And trying to score," Jack adds, a playful grin on his face.

I slap his arm, but laugh all the same.

I then noticed that behind Alex was his newly-made fiancee, Rein. They were holding hands, putting that same-old sour spot right in the pit of my stomach. She looked gorgeous as always, her multi-colored hair perfectly styled while my own was falling out of it's bun.

"Why are you guys here?" Jack asks, moving so he was beside me instead of in front, keeping his arms around my waist. I was glad, because it kept me feeling solid.

"Coming to the engagement party?" Alex asks, moving farther inside.

"We plan to," I respond, my voice wavering.

Rein smiles over at me and I give one in return, but it was once again sterile. "Cool," she says, her voice that sickly sweet pitch. "It starts at seven, but you can come whenever. There'll be cake too."

"Oh, I'm so there now," Jack cuts in, pulling me over to the couch.

I felt uncomfortable talking about this, like someone had turned my skin inside-out. No one seemed to notice, which I was grateful for, but at the same time I wish someone would end the topic and start a new one.

"Hey," I say, "I'm hungry. I'm gonna go get some chips." I grin, slipping out of Jack's arm easily. He gives me a worried look that I ignore, walking into the kitchen.

As I'm pulling the Doritos out of the cupboard, Rein comes in.

"Hi Sadie," she grins, leaning against the counter. I smile back, ripping open the bag and setting it on the island. I go over to the bowls and grab one, picking up the bag and pouring some in. "Look, I know this must weird for you--"

"What's weird?"

"Alex and I getting married."

My heart stops. Oh my God. She knows. Rein knows about my crush on Alex. How did she find out? I've been so careful this past year since they started dating! I could feel the heat coming to my face, and I try to shake it off.

"Why would that be weird?" I ask, picking up a chip and eating a piece of it. I suddenly lost my appetite.

"Because," she says, her voice dropping to a low tone, "you and Jack have been dating longer than me and Alex. It's gotta be weird knowing that you guys aren't taking that step, right?" Her eyebrows crease in confusion.

"Oh," I blow out a breath, relief flooding into me. "It's not that weird. Jack and I just aren't there yet. My parents dated for ten years before they got married."

"Good," she says, looking relieved as well. "I just didn't want it to be all awkward."

"It's not," I smile in assurance.

What a blatant lie. It will be awkward, but only for me, and not for the reason that she suspects.