Smiling In Everything

I was downstairs, pouring myself some coffee since I didn't get a wink of sleep last night, when I hear a groan from the staircase. I smile lightly as I hear his thudding footsteps as he makes his way to the first story; obviously his hangover was biting him in the ass.

Jack appears a few moments later, leaning against the wall that turns into the kitchen, his hands coming up to rub at his eyes. He squints at me, the sun spilling in from the windows blinding.

"Morning!" I try to sound cheery, but it was fake even to my own ears.

He tries to grin, but it came out as more of a grimace as he patters into the kitchen. He was dressed in sweatpants and a black tank top, which he put on backwards now that I look closely. I giggle quietly to myself as he comes over to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder, and kissing the top of my head. "Advil," was all he murmurs, hugging me to his lean body briefly.

I nod. "And water. Go get a glass." I point to the cabinet before wandering toward the downstairs restroom, reaching into the mirror for the pills. I collect two before meeting Jack at the island, handing him the medicine.

"God, I got so shitfaced last night," he grumbles, rubbing his eyes again. "Why?"

I shrug, taking a sip of my coffee as I lean against the counter behind me. "You got shitfaced after I left. And then I had to clean you up when you stumbled home."

He shakes his head, chugging down the rest of the water before walking forward a few feet to place the glass in the sink. "Fan-girls drive me to the alcohol, I swear," Jack breathes, standing in front of where I was leaning. I look up at him, setting my coffee on the counter behind me. "I'm sorry you had to come home all by yourself. I should've come home with you." His arms curl loosely around my waist, his forehead falling against mine.

But if you had come home last night, I wouldn't have had that amazing night with Alex. I snap that thought away from my head, distracting myself by reaching up and wrapping my arms around his neck.

"It's fine," I murmur, his lips pecking mine. "You wanted to meet your fans."

He smiles. "I'm glad you understand." Our mouths connect again, his lips pushing mine open to let our tongues tangle together. He picks me up slightly, my feet leaving the floor as his arms crush our torsos together. I was glad he had brushed his teeth or else this situation would have been completely different. But I kiss back nonetheless, our teeth biting hungrily as we finally break apart, breathing in deeply. He gives me another sweet kiss, simple and loving. It broke my heart.

"Jack," I breathe, bringing down a hand from around his neck to push at his chest gently. He gets the hint, moving back a little so our faces were at least six inches apart. "We need to talk about something." I could hear the solemn tone in my voice and so did he. His brows scrunch as he sets me down, his arms swiftly moving away from me.

"What is it?" he asks, his voice shaking slightly.

I open my mouth, but stop short. How do I start this conversation? I could feel my thoughts hit a wall, like a damn had been placed over the river of my mind.

"Last night," I exhale, my heart pounding loudly in my ears, "when you got home, I put you to bed. And when I tried to leave, you...you asked me to stay." I squeeze my eyes shut, my teeth gritting at what I knew was coming.

"And?" Jack asks, clearly unimpressed.

I choke. "And called me your fiancee."

I open my eyes and look up at him. His face was grave, blank, and I couldn't tell what he was thinking. I noticed how his hand shoves deep into his left pocket. His other hand comes up and runs through his mess of hair. "I was drunk," he finalizes, his lips shaking. I could see it. "I was probably just rambling. You know how I get when I drink vod—"

"You pulled out a ring, Jack."

That made him freeze, his mouth poised open for his next syllable and his eyes widening. I could just see all the breath leaving his body, his back stiffening. I wait, not even moving, for him to come back down to Earth.

"Oh my God," he groans, his hand slapping himself in the forehead. I wince. "I can't believe I fucking proposed to you while I was fucking drunk."

"Jack—"

"I even had this amazing night planned out! I was gonna take you dancing, even though you know I have two left feet. And then we were gonna go to that Italian restaurant you love so much. And then we were gonna take a walk in the park and go see that jazz group that likes to play on Sunday nights, you know? And afterwards I was gonna take you to the wine cellar on Bleaker where they have that garden in the back. And when we had full glasses I was gonna drop on one knee—"

"Jack!"

He stops, his eyes finding mine.

After his proclamation, I felt my heart swelling. "You were gonna do all of that for me?" I ask, my voice a soft whisper, my head replaying everything he just told me.

"Yeah, I was," he mutters, looking down. "But instead, I was drunk."

I shake my head. "Jack, it's fine. Honestly..." I swallow, my chest tightening at the thought of what I was about to say. "I don't think—" But I was cut off as he leans down and grasps my lips in his for another long kiss. And as this happened, I felt myself go slack.

I was desperately reaching inside of me, trying to feel that—that something, but all I found was a pumping heart and a dead weight. I wanted to cry knowing that that spark was gone. I would do anything to get it back. I wanted it so badly. I just wanted to be able to look at Jack and feel that thing in the pit of my stomach that told me I was gonna be with him forever. And I just—

Jack was pulling back, a smile on his lips. "I guess my romantic night is out the window."

I nod. "It is. Look—"

"And I can't surprise you now since I just revealed it," he breathes, shaking his head. God, is he even listening to me? "Wow. Why did I do that? I should have just said something else—something to justify why I have an engagement ring."

"There aren't really a whole lot of ways to justify that," I inquire, smiling wide. It was too fake and sterile to feel real. Jack chuckles, pecking my lips again.

"There aren't," he agrees. "Maybe this will justify it though."

I cock my head to the side, my mouth opening to ask him what that meant, when he was pulling his left hand out of his pocket and lowering his body to the kitchen tile. I felt my breathing stop and my heart cease as his knee brushes the ground, his gaze looking up at me clearly and lovingly.

"Jack, no—"

"Sadie Marie," he murmurs, his lips pulling into a large grin. "I've loved you since the day I met you. I know our relationship isn't perfect, and I am far from it as well, but I promise to cherish you, love you, and protect you for the rest of our lives if you allow me. I am giving you my word that I can make you happy and I will be damned if I don't."

I could feel tears well in my eyes. He was so sincere and so real and it broke my heart. He opens the box and the beautiful ring I first laid eyes on last night appears.

"I know we've both had our doubts and I know recently we've had some rough times," he continues, my heart cracking in my ears, "but it will be my duty to make sure that nothing bad ever happens to you. I want to be the man you look at and smile because you know that I care for you. And I want you to be the woman I look at and smile because I know that you care for me. So, with your permission," a cheeky grin breaks across his face, "I'd be honored if you would become my wife."

I felt my vision go gray around the edges. My breathing was labored.

"Sadie," he says with a flourish, "will you marry me?"