Smiling In Everything

Sadie—

"I'll be fine!" I laugh into my phone, getting on my tip toes to pull the now-full popcorn bag out of the microwave. My bare legs brush against the counter in front of me. "I promise. It's not like you're moving out of the house, Jack."

He huffs. "I just wish I could be over there with my girlfriend. We just got engaged. Aren't we supposed to be inseparable or something?"

"We still have one wedding going on," I remind him, pulling out a large bowl. "You have duties."

"Ha," he chuckles, my eyes rolling to the back of my head immediately. "Duties." He then starts full-on laughing, reminding me that he is definitely drinking tonight. I could hear the pulse of the club behind him, already knowing he had probably downed at least one beer. "You said duties, Sadie."

I laugh quietly. "Anyway," I continue as I pour my buttery popcorn into the bowl, "I'm gonna get back to my romantic comedy marathon that you so rudely interrupted with a phone call."

"Excuse me for wanting to call my fiancee!"

I felt a twinge in my stomach at the last word, always forgetting that he was now officially allowed to call me that. I ignore this weird feeling and force a smile. "I love you and I'll see you when you get home, all right?" I tell him.

"Love you, too!" he returns before we're hanging up.

I set my phone down on the counter before grabbing my bowl of popcorn, popping a few kernels in my mouth as I walk back toward the living room. I was wearing nothing but one of Jack's old Glamour Kills shirt and some boy shorts. This was my alone night, me and my rom-com movies, and I was ready to just sit down and get lost in a hopeless romance story that would make me maybe feel so much better about my own awful situation.

I plop down on my sofa and flip the TV back on, where the menu for Friends With Benefits was playing over and over. I'm such a sucker for anything with Mila Kunis in it. I once watched all seasons of That 70's Show just because she's in it.

I press play on the movie, settling back deeper in the cushions with the bowl in my lap.

Just as the opening begins, Justin Timberlake talking with his associates, I hear a knock on the door. I immediately pause the movie, thinking I'd heard wrong.

When there was only silence, I assume I just heard it in my head, before pressing play again. It had only gotten to the part where your first see Mila on screen before I hear another knock. I didn't think I'd imagine it a second time, so I pause the movie and put the bowl on the coffee table, before I get to my feet.

"Hello?" I call out, maneuvering around the loveseat to get to the door.

I look through the peep hole, only seeing the back of someone as they looked out across my porch. The person was wearing a black beanie and a leather jacket, and he looked huddled, almost as if he were trying to warm himself from the cold rainy weather.

I scrunch my brows before pulling open the door. The person immediately turns around and I felt a lump in my throat as my gaze locks with Alex's.

"What..." I swallow, breathing deeply. "What are you doing here?"

I hadn't seen or spoken to Alex since the lunch at Applebee's one week ago. I haven't seen him nearly as much as I'd like to, but I knew it had been for the best when I kept my distance from him for that whole month. And when we spoke at lunch, it was difficult for me to just stand across from him without wanting to just be held by him or to kiss him or anything. And it was even harder to look him in the eye and tell him that she wanted to be with Jack. When she wanted nothing more than to be with Alex.

And now here he was, dripping from the rain and looking at me like I was the best thing that had ever happened to him. It broke my heart to know everything was done between us. Especially when he looks so vulnerable and open to me right now. I wanted to tie him to me so we could no longer be apart.

"I needed..." a pained look came across from his face, "I needed to see you."

"Alex—"

He grimaces, and the look cut me off. "I know. I probably shouldn't be here. I guess..." He exhales loudly, turning a shoulder away from me. "I guess I'll just lea—"

"No," I interrupt and he looks back at me in surprise. "Come...come in."

I step back and hang the door open wider. Alex looks conflicted for a moment before he nods slowly, stepping forward out of the chill to come inside my house. I hesitate before closing the door after him, turning around to meet his gaze again.

I cross my arms over my chest, completely forgetting that I wasn't wearing any pants. "I thought you would be with the guys at the bar."

Alex shrugs. "I snuck away from them five minutes after we got there."

I use my hands to pull down the hem of my shirt, biting my bottom lip. Shit. I don't need to hide my body from him. He's already seen me in all my naked glory before. "It's flattering that you wanted to come see me," I tell him, averting my eyes as his gaze turned darker, "but it's wrong. We can't—"

"I came to say goodbye."

That made my head snap back to look at him, a pang hitting my chest as my brows deepen over my eyes. I take a few steps closer, a few feet between us. "What?" I cry.

Alex sighs, reaching up to pull a hand through his hair. "It's not like I'm moving or something. I just came to say goodbye, because..." a weird look goes across his face, "you're right. It's time we end this between us. It's time to say goodbye."

"Goodbye?!" I cry again. "What are you saying?"

He breathes out harshly. "Like you said. We have to go our separate ways. You and I have to move on...with our significant others." It was obvious that saying this was hurting him way more than he was letting show. He winces. "I have Rein. You have...Jack." Another flinch. "I wish I could say I have you, but that wasn't never meant to be. I don't want to sound dramatic or any deep shit, but we have to go apart."

"Alex, I don't want—"

"I don't either," he murmurs, shrugging his jacket off and sliding it off his arms and onto the floor. "But you said ending this was for the best. And after thinking about it, it is. We already are in this way too deep and stopping it before even more people get hurt is the only way to go."

I felt like crying, but I keep my composure and nod. He was right. "I know. I just...I don't want it to end, Alex. I don't."

He frowns. "I don't either."

I felt a tear escape and I immediately wipe it away. Alex comes over and wraps me in a hug, my head fitting against his collarbone easily as I buried my face in his chest. It felt so good to just be held by him, no lust or sexual passing, just a hug to know that we were officially over. Neither of us wanted it to end, but we knew it had to. He uses his arms around me to pick me up and carry us over to the couch, laying us down. He gives me the sweetest kiss on my forehead, just letting me stay against him, breathing in his minty scent.

"I love you," he whispers in my ear, another tear tricking down my face at his words. "I wish this wasn't how it had to be." His lips find my cheek, brushing against the apple bone as his arms tighten around my waist.

"I love you too," I admit, realizing that was my first time saying it out loud.

Then we stay in silence, just holding each other and listening to the other's breathing, savoring the time we had together before we had to return to reality.

Jack—

"Fuck yeah!" I scream over the loud bass and pumping music, my new beer sloshing onto my shirt. I couldn't remember if it was the fifth or sixth beer, but whichever it was it tasted more like candy then it did like alcohol.

Rian laughs, slapping me on the back. "You're wasted, Jack. We need to get you home."

I blow a raspberry. "Nu-uh. I just need another beer."

Zack rolls his eyes, pulling me back toward the bar. "I'm gonna go get the car and Rian is gonna find Cassadee. Stay here until we come back to the get you, all right?" I nod, waving him away and simultaneously notifying the bartender. Both of my boys walk off as I sit on the stool, taking the last swig of my Corona.

The tender stops in front of me, leaning forward. He was a big guy. "Anything else?" the guy asks, using his towel to swipe away some of the beer I'd spilled onto the counter.

"Heineken!" I yell, pumping my fist along to the unfamiliar song playing.

The tender rolls his eyes but nods, grabbing the green bottle from the collection of alcohol behind him. He hands the beer to me.

"Take it easy, all right kid?" he asks, popping the beer open for me when I couldn't do it myself. Man, am I really this drunk? "I don't want you doing something stupid." I nod and thank him before he's walking off toward another person at the bar.

"Hey, Jack."

I turn around in my stool upon hearing my name, thinking Zack had returned to take me to the car, when I see Jamie instead. I smile lightly. "Hey."

She takes the stool next to me, setting her clutch down on the bar counter. "How's it going?" she asks me, her red painted lips smiling wickedly. I scan her up and down, noticing the way her tight-fitting dress was accenting her boobs quite nicely. Before Sadie and I had called our relationship totally official, I thought Jamie had been really hot. And she still is, but I like Sadie a lot more.

"It's going," I reply, taking another sip of my drink. "I'm pumped, dude!"

Jamie laughs, her white smile blinding. "I think you need to sleep. You want me to drive you home? I can see your friends are taking a bit to drive the car around." She leans forward, her honey smelling perfume hitting me in the face. It reminded me of fairies.

"That'd be nice," I slur a bit, setting my beer down. "I could use some sleep."

She grins, standing up, and I follow suit. She grabs my hand and pulls me to the parking lot. The entire car ride was silent and I didn't say anything as we pull up to her house instead of mine.

"What?" I ask, half asleep, pulling off the window.

She smiles. "Jack, I saw how you were looking down my dress at the bar."

I shrug. "All guys would. You got a nice rack." I yawn, smacking my lips as I look over at her. She just grins and pulls me forward by my collar, smashing our lips together.

In my drunken haze I didn't even think of anything and kiss her back, my hand going behind her head to deepen it. Everything moved quicker than light as we move into her house, bumping into things as our lips stay connected and clothes are littered in a trail to her bedroom. A condom wrapper falls to the carpet as we rolled around the bed and a bad decision was made as the light is turned off.