Smiling In Everything

"Jack," I sigh, reaching out and smoothing his shirt down. "Why didn't you tell me this was wrinkled? I would've ironed it." I stick my clutch under my arm so I could straighten out his collar. He rolls his eyes at me, looping his arms around my waist.

"It's not that big of a deal," he grins, leaning down to kiss me softly on the lips. I couldn't help the smile that appeared on my face. Now this is why I love Jack Barakat. "You don't always have to be taking care of me." He puffs his chest out, standing up taller. "I am a man. I can take care of myself."

I laugh. "You keep telling yourself that. And besides, you love to let me take care of you."

He relaxes his "manly" stature and pecks my temple lightly. "That I do." We share more grins before stepping away from our car and making up the steps toward Alex's house. I mentally brace myself; I can handle this.

I'd been able to keep Alex out of my head after he and Rein left, but now it would be hard to avoid him at his own engagment party. But I have to try.

We walk inside, the foyer and dining room already littered with people. We say hi to a few familiar faces, Jack's arm around me the entire time. I was glad I had something to be grounded to here, because knowing that this is Alex's pre-wedding party kept making bile rise up in my throat.

Jack grabs us glasses of champagne from a nearby waiter, handing me the flute. Just as I go to take a sip, I see Alex and Rein headed in our direction.

I sputter, causing the liquid to go down the wrong pipe in my throat.

I start coughing up a storm beside Jack, his eyes snapping over to mine. "You okay?" he asks, rubbing circles into my back. My heart melts at his worried gaze. God, how can I be in love with Alex when I have the sweetest boyfriend?

I finally nod, my eyes burning. I spy Alex and Rein only a few feet away. "I'm gonna go calm down in the bathroom," I say, the tickle gone from my throat. "I'll be right back."

Jack smiles and I kiss his cheek, maneuvering around people to get to the restroom.

I breathe out in relief once I was alone in the hall, pressing a hand to my chest to calm my racing heart. I felt sick to my stomach seeing them together. I don't think I've ever been this jealous in my entire life. When I heard they started dating I didn't think twice about it; Alex isn't one to keep a girlfriend for very long. But now that they're getting married it's put everything into perspective for me.

"Sadie?"

I turn around, preparing myself to confront Alex, but it was just Zack. I breathe out deeply, still feeling the thump thump of my heart behind my rib cage. I need to chill.

"Hey Zack," I smile, pulling a hand through my hair. I had it in curls for the party, but it was another reminder of how fake I am being throughout this whole thing. "How's it going?" I shift my feet, my heels clacking against the hardwood flooring.

He raises an eyebrow. "Stop bullshitting it, Sadie."

My shoulders fall limp. I can't fake it in front of Zack; he's the only one of my friends who knows I have an insanely inappropriate crush on Alex. He knows everything.

"I can't believe this," I sigh, leaning against the wall for support. "Can you?"

"Alex getting married?" Zack shrugs. "I didn't think I'd ever see the day, yet here it is."

Sounds from the party floated over to us in the shadows: glass clinking, loud laughs, excited chatter, tears and cries over how Alex is "finally settling down." It all broke my heart. These sounds were proof that this wasn't just some dumb nightmare. It was all reality.

"Have you told Jack?" he turns back to me, crossing his arms over his chest.

I snort. "Could you let that go? I couldn't do that to Jack."

Zack rolls his eyes. "Do you even love him? You told me that you started falling for Alex right when you met him. And that had been only two mere weeks after you and Jack first go together. So tell me: are you only with Jack just so you can continue to see Alex all the time?"

I grab the side of my head, my nails digging into the skin behind my ear. "I'm tired of having this arguement with you! I love Jack; I know it! But I can't help but love Alex too!"

I look around, making sure we were out earshot. I relax when I see we are.

Zack groans, running a hand over his head. "That can't be possible, Sadie."

"I don't use people," I tell him, my tone icy. "If I didn't love Jack, I wouldn't just stay with him for my own pleasure of seeing Alex. That's just being a bitch." I glance over to where I left Jack, seeing him still talking to the hosts. "I could never hurt him like that."

"But how can he be hurting when he doesn't know it?" Zack asks, looking over at where I was staring too. "You need to get your facts straight, Sadie. Before you do hurt him."

I blow out a breath and bring my gaze back to him. "That's what I've been trying to do for three years, Zack. Pretending is a lot harder than you'd fucking think."