Smiling In Everything

"Sadie?"

Jack's voice sounded far away. But it brought me back to reality. The other three people were looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to answer. Well, except for Alex. He was staring at his girlfriend with a look that asked, What the fuck just happened?

"But...but..." I take a deep breath. I felt like I was gonna vomit all over the table. "What about Kelsey? Won't she be upset you didn't ask her? I mean, she is your sister and all."

"Oh," Rein snorts, waving her hand in the air as if to brush away my ludicrous comment. "Kels is gonna be in London on the wedding day, so she's my maid of honor in spirit. I need a step-in, and you're my closest girlfriend, so obviously you were the first choice." She squeezes Alex's hand, but he didn't respond.

Her last comment really itched at me.

I need a step-in...

I'm just a step-in. I wasn't even on the list until Kelsey said she couldn't make it. But I knew I couldn't upset Rein or Alex, so I force a fake and sterile smile onto my face. So plastic. "Sure," I spew out of my mouth reluctantly. "I'd love to."

Rein let out a shriek that brought the entire attention of the coffee shop to us, as she jumps up and pulls me into a bone-crushing hug over the table. Jack grinned. Alex looked appalled.

"This calls for muffins!" she stands up. "Jack, come help me?"

He accepts and follows her to the register, both of them getting in line at the end. I watch them, a lump forming in my throat. I could sense Alex's eyes shift to me once they were out of earshot, but I don't return the gaze in fear of him seeing my undying love for him in my eyes.

"Sades..."

His voice breaks and he looks away. I take that as my chance to look at him, the lump in my throat growing with each passing second. "What's up?" I ask quietly.

"I wanted to apologize for yesterday," he responds, almost mutely. "In the kitchen. One, for ruining your kitchen, and two...well, it was kinda awkward. For tackling you and everything. I just..." he turns so his entire body was facing me, folding his arms in front of him on the table. "I wanted to apologize. You're my best friend and I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable."

Oh trust me, I wasn't uncomfortable. I was in heaven.

"So," Alex shrugs, "I was wondering if you wanted to hang out this weekened. Just the two of us. We could go to the ice cream shop like we used to. Or just go to the park."

I thought it over for a moment. "Okay. But no baking this time."

He laughs. "Scouts honor."

Rein and Jack returned moments later, hands full of muffins and more coffee. They sit down and we get back to talking about the wedding, but this time I didn't have an overwhelming weight on my shoulders.

"Oh, Sadie!" I look over at Rein, being pulled from a cute muffin fight between me and Jack. "I was taking the bridesmaids for shopping tomorrow. You wanna go? I know that brides usually make their court wear hideous dresses, but I do not want that to happen. They have to be gorgeous. Please come? It would mean the world to me."

Is she being fake? Or did she take peppy pills this morning?

I nod. "Sure."

More agreeing adds more regret onto my growing pile of hate.