Smiling In Everything

The shrieks were hurting my ears.

Rein's best friend Jamie flung her arms around the engaged woman's shoulders, squeezing her as they both screamed and giggled. I wince at the loud voices; if I knew her girly friends were going to shout everytime they talked, I would have made up an excuse not to come.

"I'm so happy for you!" the other friend, Tanya, was yelling. "I can't believe he finally asked you. It took him long enough!" They all squeal and gather around her outstretched hand, the diamond ring glinting under the lights of the department store.

"Sadie!"

The other three girls turn at the sound of my name. It was Zack, and his girlfriend, and the last bridesmaid, Cindy. Tanya and Jamie look at me as if I was the scum of the Earth.

I'm not surprised. They probably all wanted to be Rein's Maid of Honor.

I smile and hug Cindy hello, before she goes over to greet Rein. Zack stops beside me, looking at the four girls as they gossip about the upcoming wedding. I just stand there, watching them, feeling like an outsider. Fuck, it's high school all over again.

But soon, I remind them why we were here, and they reluctantly pull apart to head to the dresses. I follow, but at a slower pace. I don't want to be here at all.

"So," Zack says as we come up to the dress aisle, "how've you been?"

"You mean," I correct, keeping an eye on the group of girls, "how is the hideously inappropriate crush I have on my boyfriend's best friend?" Zack gives me a sympathetic look. "It's peachy. Thanks for asking."

"I can't help you with this, Sadie," he murmurs as I start browsing through the dresses. "I would give you some advice but..." He trails off as he looks down at the ground.

"I know," I say monotonely. "I brought this on myself."

"OH!" We all hear Rein exclaim loudly. "Go try this one on girls!" I could hear her, but I couldn't see her. I finally spot arms thrown in the air as they run to the dressing rooms. I decide to let them have their fun and turn back to Zack.

"I have to tell you something though," I whisper, glancing around the store.

"What?"

I lick my bottom lip, my heart rate increasing just thinking about it. "He came over to my house the other day because I was helping him bake cookies for his niece," I speak lowly, keeping my gaze steady even though butterflies flapped around my stomach. "And...we got into a food fight. It was silly but he tackled me to the floor at the end and there was this...tension."

Zack groans. "Are you this wasn't just wishful thinking? Are you sure there was actual tension? Did he feel it too?" I could see the doubt in his eyes.

"I know it sounds crazy," I reply. "But I'm gonna talk to him about it this weekend."

"No!" Zack hisses. "You can't go confusing him! He's getting married, Sadie."

"I know he's getting married! You don't need to tell me!" I rip my hands away from the dress I had been running my hand over. "It's all I can think about! How Alex is getting married. How Rein is the only one he loves. How I'm with Jack and not him. Stop fucking reminding me!"

Zack was quiet for a moment as I cool down from my heated moment. "I don't think you know that. You may know, but you can't come to peace with it. He's getting married."

My breathing was picking up. Quick.

"I can't continue to watch you tear yourself apart over this," he goes on, flicking his eyes toward the dressing room. "You've been hung up on him for so long..." he sighs, pulling a hand through his short hair. "Sadie, sooner or later, you're gonna need to realize that he doesn't love you that way. He loves Rein. And Jack loves you. But who do you love?"

I tear my eyes away from his, noticing that they were full of tears. His words were like a slap in the face. But before I could lash back with an angry comment, Rein calls out my name.

"I found your dress!" she screeches. "Come try it on!"

I look once more at Zack, trying to tell him with my eyes that I needed him to be a friend and not a therapist, before turning around and walking toward Rein's voice.

She holds out a piece on a hanger to me, but my vision was too blurry to make it out. I rub at my eyes, clearing my senses, before looking at the dress fully. My eyes widen at it. It was, actually, gorgeous. I was surprised with her choice. I thought she would pick a rather unattractive dress for me.

"Go try it on," she says, thrusting the dress toward me. "I wanna see you in it."

I nod and move toward the direction she pointed me in. I take a look back at her, her figure moving through the racks, looking for other possible choices. She looked so happy, so excited, that it broke my heart.