I Hear Your Heart Call My Name.

It turned out we really hadn’t needed to be here for hours. They were going to be spending all morning getting the set prepared and making adjustments to the original ideas. Mike and I wouldn’t be needed until they started actually filming, since it was going to be a continuous video with no jump-cuts.

It actually sounded like it was going to be a pretty cool video, until someone went into detail about the bit with the band (us) was in. Apparently, while I was standing next to Jonny playing bass, Mike would casually be sitting in the back playing drums. Shirtless. With two girls in their underwear getting all up on him.

I couldn’t describe the surge of jealousy and anger that went through me when I heard it. Everything felt so unfair. Why did these girls (probably some sluts that knew someone who knew someone who knew Jonny and were willing to take their clothes off to be in a video) get to get so intimate with Mike? My Mike, who I’d been wanting so bad for so long. They didn’t deserve him. They didn’t deserve to be close to him. He should’ve been mine.

“Tony?” Mike had found me sitting on the back porch, trying to gather my thoughts before I punched someone. My heart warmed momentarily that he’d come to find me, but it passed almost instantly. He was probably fucking stoked about this. He probably already knew about this and that was why he wanted to be in the video. Why not tell me though? Did he think I’d get jealous of him instead of them?

“Hmm?” I finally mumbled a response, not sure of what to say. I didn’t really trust myself to speak at that point anyway. Instead I gazed up at him, trying not to get stuck staring at his perfect lips or his silver lip ring, shinning dully in the cloud-covered natural light. He was so beautiful.

“I was just checking if you were okay. You’ve seemed kind of distant all day so I just thought... Are you alright?” He sat down next to me as he asked, putting his hand on my shoulder to steady himself and keeping it there like he was trying to comfort me, though he had no idea what was wrong. How could he?

“Yeah, I’m just tired I guess. I miss touring,” I tried to yawn convincingly and drooped slightly, leaning into him a little. I was tired, tired of pretending around him. Tired of holding in that jealousy and loneliness that was always there. He’d never want me. He had all those girls; different ones all the time. There was even that horrible girl from Millionaires with fake looking hair and a fake personality to match. They were all the same to me, awful. Maybe they were all the same to him too.

“Me too. At least we get to play today though, right? It’ll be fun. Even if the other guys aren’t here.” He smiled just a little bit, looking into my face. I couldn’t help but imagine him looking down at my lips, then back to my eyes and leaning in. I could only hope that one day it would actually happen. Until then I clung to those smiles he gave me.

“Yeah, fun for you,” I mumbled. It totally didn’t sound suspicious. He was getting hot chicks rubbing all over him. I would be jealous as fuck if it wasn’t for me wanting his dick and all.
Mike smirked and shook his head, “I met them just before, they’re not that hot. And who knows, maybe they’ll change their minds and give the bass player some lovin’.” I couldn’t help but smile at that. He was so cute without even realising it. He had no idea what he did to me.

We just sat there for quite a while. He moved his hand from my shoulder to round the back of my neck and I leaned a little closer, resting my head against him and kidding myself for a few minutes that we were a couple and he had his arm around me simply because he wanted to be closer to me.

It ended when one of the guys helping out with filming came out and informed us that we needed to come out and run through the bit of the song we were supposed to play a few times to make sure we knew what we were doing. I’d played it through a few times at home, but it was probably a good idea to do it again now that we were filming soon. I couldn’t help feeling resentful when the warmth of Mike’s arm left me and I was forced to stand up however, and I couldn’t contain my bitter frown when the girls who were supposed to be grinding on Mike walked past us in nothing but their underwear. Sluts.