Imperfect Imortality
Believe In Me
I squinted into the light, my vision spinning slightly. I sat up and clutched my head trying to regain my senses. The harsh morning glow blinded me through the windows. I blinked hard as my vision came into focus, though still not clearing properly. I frowned slightly as I grasped my head, it felt strangely damp, and as I pulled my hand away I noticed a small patch of wet crimson liquid on my hand; I knew instantly what it was and gagged, stumbling upwards and running toward to bathroom. It was the third time I’d thrown up in a week, it wasn’t pleasant but I couldn’t help it, the sight of blood horrified me.
I wobbled back to my room groaning, I felt utterly disgusting. I pushed open the door and flopped onto my bed head first, daring not to think about the awful mess my room was in. I stuck my tongue out and gagged slightly at the sour taste in my mouth, it was revolting. A light knock came from the doorway and it creaked open,
“Frank darling, get up its time for work-“ I shot up straight away, she couldn’t see my room, she’d freak.
“No mum don’t!“ my vision swirled again.
“Oh aren’t you decent dear?” she closed the door again,
“No mum.” I mumbled clutching my throbbing head again. She shuffled outside the door; I crashed back down onto the bed.
“Well remember to get ready then, you can’t be late again.” And with that I heard her walk back downstairs. In a way I was glad she was so oblivious to my life – not intentionally of course – I don’t think I could cope with having her caught up in the whole thing as well.
I shot a glance at the clock - 6:34am, ugh why did my work have to start so damn early? I really couldn’t understand why a coffee shop had to open so early in the morning. I sat up slower this time and opened my eyes. I froze at the site before me and gasped, my room was perfectly fine. The windows weren’t broken, everything was on my desk and all my posters were still on the walls, I smiled. Standing up I walked over to my desk, rummaging through the stuff; I grabbed my laptop and flicked it open, maybe FBDY would still be online now. I stopped, the screen had cracked in several different directions and keys were missing from the keyboard; I picked up a small piece of paper that lay across the keyboard and unfolded it,
“Shame.”
I swear I had to hold back a roar of anger. That asshole, I hated his snide comments they pissed me off to no end. I grabbed a shirt and pants from my wardrobe and stormed towards the bathroom, I needed a shower.
The steaming hot water felt refreshing on my skin, the horrid gashes on my wrists had finally begun to heal – took them long enough – it felt calming to be in such a relaxed state for once. I washed the small amount of blood from my hair and scrubbed my body from head to toe, trying to purify my skin. I took in deep long drags of the hot humid air, cleaning out my throat and lungs. I thought back to last night, I really needed to talk to this FBDY guy he/she could really be my ticket to helping Mikey. I frowned, it’d be quite a difficult task seeing as I no longer had a laptop; and I had hardly any money so buying a new one was out of the window already. I stepped out the shower and dried myself quickly, while still deep in thought; I really needed to start thinking things through before I acted. In a hurry I threw on my clothes and ran back to my room, slipping on my shoes and grabbing my readily packed bag from the end of the bed – one of the few things that I planned ahead on - I trotted down the stairs, put on my jacket as I went.
“I’ll be off now mum.” I called out into the kitchen,
“Oh no wait Frank!” mum came hobbling out of the kitchen with a plate of toast in her hand, I rolled my eyes,
“At least have some toast before you leave” she shoved the plate in front of me and I grabbed a piece stuffing it quickly into my mouth, don’t you just love parents?
I ran out the front door and hurried down the street to work, luckily the maintenance had been moved so I could take the normal route. Ouch, memory attack. My mind flashed back to that night in the park, then to Gerard, then to Mikey. I stopped right outside Starbucks; what the fuck was I doing? My best friends life was on the line and I was worried about work?! I need to get my priorities straight. I scanned the area, to make sure no one from work was around and continued walking swiftly onward toward the public library. It was the only place I could think of with access to computers.
I burst through the front doors and walked up to the front desk, waiting for the librarian. She was a cliché style librarian, an old woman with specs,
“Can I help you sir?” she looked me up and down, she obviously didn’t approve of my attire, but personally I couldn’t give two shits to what she thought.
“Yea can I use a computer please?” I said, impatiently tapping my foot she frowned slightly,
“Yes just let me check the database to see if there’s one free” she gave me a false smile, and turned. She began tapping away on a decrepit old computer that was whirring and buzzing from the strain of having to do a simple search. She turned to face me again and handed me a small card with a log in name and password on.
“You can use computer number 13 in the far right corner” Number 13…Great…just what I need, an unlucky computer. I turned to go and mumbled a thank you over my shoulder; I walked quickly over to the other side of the library and sat down in front of computer number 13.
Logging in took up half my life I swear; this computer was so damn old! I riffled through the programs on the hard drive and finally came across an old fashioned version of MSN, it popped open and I logged in, praying to god that FBDY was online. A small window popped up that read:
”Fab1269@hotmail.com has added you,
Accept or Decline?”
I clicked accept, my hands shaking slightly, he came online instantly and I let out a sigh of relief.
Frank:
Hi?
Fab:
You weren’t on last night, something happen?
Frank:
Yea sorry bout that, technical difficulties.
Fab:
Okay lets sort this out, tell me what’s going on, try not to hold back details.
So I told him, my hands shook. Truthfully I was petrified that Gerard might find out I was here, or that he might think I was pulling his leg.
Fab:
I think I can help you Frank. But you have to trust me okay?
Frank:
Okay, anything to help Mikey…
I wobbled back to my room groaning, I felt utterly disgusting. I pushed open the door and flopped onto my bed head first, daring not to think about the awful mess my room was in. I stuck my tongue out and gagged slightly at the sour taste in my mouth, it was revolting. A light knock came from the doorway and it creaked open,
“Frank darling, get up its time for work-“ I shot up straight away, she couldn’t see my room, she’d freak.
“No mum don’t!“ my vision swirled again.
“Oh aren’t you decent dear?” she closed the door again,
“No mum.” I mumbled clutching my throbbing head again. She shuffled outside the door; I crashed back down onto the bed.
“Well remember to get ready then, you can’t be late again.” And with that I heard her walk back downstairs. In a way I was glad she was so oblivious to my life – not intentionally of course – I don’t think I could cope with having her caught up in the whole thing as well.
I shot a glance at the clock - 6:34am, ugh why did my work have to start so damn early? I really couldn’t understand why a coffee shop had to open so early in the morning. I sat up slower this time and opened my eyes. I froze at the site before me and gasped, my room was perfectly fine. The windows weren’t broken, everything was on my desk and all my posters were still on the walls, I smiled. Standing up I walked over to my desk, rummaging through the stuff; I grabbed my laptop and flicked it open, maybe FBDY would still be online now. I stopped, the screen had cracked in several different directions and keys were missing from the keyboard; I picked up a small piece of paper that lay across the keyboard and unfolded it,
“Shame.”
I swear I had to hold back a roar of anger. That asshole, I hated his snide comments they pissed me off to no end. I grabbed a shirt and pants from my wardrobe and stormed towards the bathroom, I needed a shower.
The steaming hot water felt refreshing on my skin, the horrid gashes on my wrists had finally begun to heal – took them long enough – it felt calming to be in such a relaxed state for once. I washed the small amount of blood from my hair and scrubbed my body from head to toe, trying to purify my skin. I took in deep long drags of the hot humid air, cleaning out my throat and lungs. I thought back to last night, I really needed to talk to this FBDY guy he/she could really be my ticket to helping Mikey. I frowned, it’d be quite a difficult task seeing as I no longer had a laptop; and I had hardly any money so buying a new one was out of the window already. I stepped out the shower and dried myself quickly, while still deep in thought; I really needed to start thinking things through before I acted. In a hurry I threw on my clothes and ran back to my room, slipping on my shoes and grabbing my readily packed bag from the end of the bed – one of the few things that I planned ahead on - I trotted down the stairs, put on my jacket as I went.
“I’ll be off now mum.” I called out into the kitchen,
“Oh no wait Frank!” mum came hobbling out of the kitchen with a plate of toast in her hand, I rolled my eyes,
“At least have some toast before you leave” she shoved the plate in front of me and I grabbed a piece stuffing it quickly into my mouth, don’t you just love parents?
I ran out the front door and hurried down the street to work, luckily the maintenance had been moved so I could take the normal route. Ouch, memory attack. My mind flashed back to that night in the park, then to Gerard, then to Mikey. I stopped right outside Starbucks; what the fuck was I doing? My best friends life was on the line and I was worried about work?! I need to get my priorities straight. I scanned the area, to make sure no one from work was around and continued walking swiftly onward toward the public library. It was the only place I could think of with access to computers.
I burst through the front doors and walked up to the front desk, waiting for the librarian. She was a cliché style librarian, an old woman with specs,
“Can I help you sir?” she looked me up and down, she obviously didn’t approve of my attire, but personally I couldn’t give two shits to what she thought.
“Yea can I use a computer please?” I said, impatiently tapping my foot she frowned slightly,
“Yes just let me check the database to see if there’s one free” she gave me a false smile, and turned. She began tapping away on a decrepit old computer that was whirring and buzzing from the strain of having to do a simple search. She turned to face me again and handed me a small card with a log in name and password on.
“You can use computer number 13 in the far right corner” Number 13…Great…just what I need, an unlucky computer. I turned to go and mumbled a thank you over my shoulder; I walked quickly over to the other side of the library and sat down in front of computer number 13.
Logging in took up half my life I swear; this computer was so damn old! I riffled through the programs on the hard drive and finally came across an old fashioned version of MSN, it popped open and I logged in, praying to god that FBDY was online. A small window popped up that read:
”Fab1269@hotmail.com has added you,
Accept or Decline?”
I clicked accept, my hands shaking slightly, he came online instantly and I let out a sigh of relief.
Frank:
Hi?
Fab:
You weren’t on last night, something happen?
Frank:
Yea sorry bout that, technical difficulties.
Fab:
Okay lets sort this out, tell me what’s going on, try not to hold back details.
So I told him, my hands shook. Truthfully I was petrified that Gerard might find out I was here, or that he might think I was pulling his leg.
Fab:
I think I can help you Frank. But you have to trust me okay?
Frank:
Okay, anything to help Mikey…
♠ ♠ ♠
Title taken from "Believe" by Aiden