Status: Finished :)
Count Me In
Chapter 10
Silently I closed the door behind me as I exited my – no – their house for the last time. There was nothing left for me in Maryland, so the only thing I could do was leave. In the space of a day I had cremated all of my bridges, nobody wanted to know me anymore… except one person.
The only thing was, this person was the last person I wanted to see now. He was the only thing that I could use as an excuse to stay.
Slowly I crept along the road that I walked everyday. During my treck I saw all of the places that had shaped my final days in Baltimore.
First was the house of the one I used to love. All of the curtains were closed and all of the windows tightly locked. It was as if the house were a metaphor saying that nobody wanted me anymore. Quickly I shifted my eyes from that house, as it held too many precious memories that I only wanted to forget.
Secondly I walked past the house of the one I now love. Instead of having all of the windows shut, they were all open. Inside I knew that fate was beckoning me inside, but I wasn’t going to give in that easily. I didn’t deserve the satisfaction.
My eyes drifted away from Alex’s house quicker than they did Jack’s, because the memories were more vivid from there. When I looked at the crimson bricks, all I could see were potent moments that would never fade away.
As I approached the end of the road that had held all five of us together for the past 8 months, I pushed myself to walk faster. If I kept walking slowly I would have more time to consider staying.
Rain trickled down my face while I walked the ebony outskirts. Everyone was at home, safe from the demons of the lonely streets, except me. At least that was what I thought.
Footsteps were approaching my body faster than my body could take me away from them. Before I could think to run a hand fell over my sodden shoulder. I felt a hand go over my mouth, and after that everything went black.
*Flashback (sorry more inception)*
I was twelve again. It was a couple of months after I had become very good friends with Alex, a time before love had taken that friendship away.
He was taking me somewhere. Somewhere across a field of dancing daisies, all hiding their faces as our feet trampled over them. On that day I can remember being in a lemon frock, with him being in an oversized GK t-shirt.
Even I knew he wore it to remember Daniel.
When the field of flowers ended, we approached two marble gates. They towered over our short heads as we walked swiftly towards them. Wondering why we were there, I shifted my sight to Alex, who was starting to cry. At that moment I knew why we were there.
Without a word he guided me through the graveyard, towards the one that meant the most to him. It seemed that the sun’s light only shone on that one grave as we approached it, showing that the most important of people lay there.
As Alex approached the grave I dragged behind. There was no way I was going to read the name that was printed on there; it would hurt me too much. Gently Alex knelt on the floor in front of the concrete gravestone while I stood there watching. It wasn’t right for me to feel melancholy towards Daniel because I didn’t even know him.
“That’s Daniel, isn’t it Alex?” Hesitantly I asked him, hoping that he wouldn’t react negatively towards it. Absentmindedly he turned back to look into my eyes.
I had never seen so much pain in them before.
*End Flashback*
Aching muscles, aching head, powered by novocaine. My mind was slurring as I returned to reality. Forcefully I instructed my eyes to scan the room, because they weren’t reacting like they usually would. It was as if my whole body was paralysed.
Where my body now lay there was nothing but darkness. Contrasting completely to the memory I was previously encapsulated in.
Being unconscious had told me one thing though, one thing that I should have realised. Alex had already lost one person that he loved… I couldn’t do that to him again. Running away was another selfish act that I had committed, even though it was for the sake of everyone else.
Leaving Alex there, on his own, to face this shit that I had created was extremely selfish of me. Why hadn’t I realised that in the first place.
Now there was no chance of going back though, because I didn’t even know where I had gone.
The only thing was, this person was the last person I wanted to see now. He was the only thing that I could use as an excuse to stay.
Slowly I crept along the road that I walked everyday. During my treck I saw all of the places that had shaped my final days in Baltimore.
First was the house of the one I used to love. All of the curtains were closed and all of the windows tightly locked. It was as if the house were a metaphor saying that nobody wanted me anymore. Quickly I shifted my eyes from that house, as it held too many precious memories that I only wanted to forget.
Secondly I walked past the house of the one I now love. Instead of having all of the windows shut, they were all open. Inside I knew that fate was beckoning me inside, but I wasn’t going to give in that easily. I didn’t deserve the satisfaction.
My eyes drifted away from Alex’s house quicker than they did Jack’s, because the memories were more vivid from there. When I looked at the crimson bricks, all I could see were potent moments that would never fade away.
As I approached the end of the road that had held all five of us together for the past 8 months, I pushed myself to walk faster. If I kept walking slowly I would have more time to consider staying.
Rain trickled down my face while I walked the ebony outskirts. Everyone was at home, safe from the demons of the lonely streets, except me. At least that was what I thought.
Footsteps were approaching my body faster than my body could take me away from them. Before I could think to run a hand fell over my sodden shoulder. I felt a hand go over my mouth, and after that everything went black.
*Flashback (sorry more inception)*
I was twelve again. It was a couple of months after I had become very good friends with Alex, a time before love had taken that friendship away.
He was taking me somewhere. Somewhere across a field of dancing daisies, all hiding their faces as our feet trampled over them. On that day I can remember being in a lemon frock, with him being in an oversized GK t-shirt.
Even I knew he wore it to remember Daniel.
When the field of flowers ended, we approached two marble gates. They towered over our short heads as we walked swiftly towards them. Wondering why we were there, I shifted my sight to Alex, who was starting to cry. At that moment I knew why we were there.
Without a word he guided me through the graveyard, towards the one that meant the most to him. It seemed that the sun’s light only shone on that one grave as we approached it, showing that the most important of people lay there.
As Alex approached the grave I dragged behind. There was no way I was going to read the name that was printed on there; it would hurt me too much. Gently Alex knelt on the floor in front of the concrete gravestone while I stood there watching. It wasn’t right for me to feel melancholy towards Daniel because I didn’t even know him.
“That’s Daniel, isn’t it Alex?” Hesitantly I asked him, hoping that he wouldn’t react negatively towards it. Absentmindedly he turned back to look into my eyes.
I had never seen so much pain in them before.
*End Flashback*
Aching muscles, aching head, powered by novocaine. My mind was slurring as I returned to reality. Forcefully I instructed my eyes to scan the room, because they weren’t reacting like they usually would. It was as if my whole body was paralysed.
Where my body now lay there was nothing but darkness. Contrasting completely to the memory I was previously encapsulated in.
Being unconscious had told me one thing though, one thing that I should have realised. Alex had already lost one person that he loved… I couldn’t do that to him again. Running away was another selfish act that I had committed, even though it was for the sake of everyone else.
Leaving Alex there, on his own, to face this shit that I had created was extremely selfish of me. Why hadn’t I realised that in the first place.
Now there was no chance of going back though, because I didn’t even know where I had gone.