All the Trinkets We Held Dear

A squeal tore from the lining of my throat, giddy with unsuppressed delight. The night shone fair from behind closed windows, threatening to crash in on me every second. In the tiniest movement of my mouth, I uttered, Belleza, viene fuori, but it was no more than a whisper upon my lips, catching the light of the stars within their prism. Toys of all dissembled states alike crawled at a snail’s pace towards the action, knowing that if I caught them they would receive reproach. They were insignificant at the current moment. A smirk hinted at the tips of my teeth, threatening to break forth into a cascade of smiles as a vaporous cloud of Ci emerged from within the husk of the figurine, her entire body to view before me. My jaw tingled, clenching to keep myself calm in her presence. We wouldn’t want to embarrass ourselves, now would we?

Chafing in my voice box, I struggled to smith words that would have the power to ensnare the beauty standing before me. Picking up the doll in lissome hands, I placed it back into its velvet padded box, careful not to even misplace a hair on its head. The fear that one day, she would shatter, caught up with me in my dreams. My nightmares were utterly full of this purview, the slight chance that she could be no more, just unclean shards for me to cut my feet on. Should she ever break… We don’t know what we would do.

“Mon coeur.” Had she ever taken French? I didn’t even know her age as she was so without that simplicity in her charms. She could be no more than a school girl, an ingénue, not that age mattered in a house that never slept. I took a timid step. Her plasticized eyes shone with blind trepidation as I inched closer, steeped in moonlight. The glistening droplets of sweat that formed on her skin at my nearness ceased as soon as they emerged from her fine pores, becoming frozen droplets of marbled glass. She looked like a queen sprayed with fine scintillating gems that created effervescent spores of light as the stars cast themselves before her very feet. That was ephemeral, as she shifted slightly, and they detached from the edifice of her skin, cascading to the carpet with tiny, theatrical thumps.

“You are my heart, Ci.” Her eyes flashed towards me. The reason I was even bringing her out now was because of a nightmare. I always had them. Most of the time, they were not even about my darling Ci, but what the toys could do to her, should the opportunity arise. Regret coursed through my veins; what if she were to die someday soon? I would have never told her how much passion I held for her, how much I loved her. Taking her in my arms, knowing how cold it could get in the dismal old house, I held her. Tighter, closer, every second of it, my heart slowed down with calming closure. Feeling her tense in my arms, I only took her closer to my bare chest, relishing the experience of her skin sliding against mine.

Brief flashes of memory stirred in my mind, sending whirlwind snapshots of a rabid man, cast in a skin of blood. My lover, long lost, marinating within the metallic odor, a knife in her back. I could almost see the crimson furtively sneak across my vision. We must not think of Ci, like we did her. We cannot let this one break. That was right, of course. Ci wasn’t just a toy; she was the love of my life. She would never disobey.

“I love you, and I know you don’t love me yet, and you might never, but you’re stuck here. Make the best of it.” As I sent a trail of wilted kisses down the blank canvas of her shoulders, I began to think of her as such. A vivacious canvas, that I would surely enjoy painting on. “Hold on a moment, love.” I draped my robe across her body, and she held it tightly to her skin, covering everything as soon as she could. In time she would lose some of the demure charisma that made her even more languorous, but for now, her chastity was coy and accepted. Running up the stairs, I advanced to my art studio. I had not even picked up a brush in years, preferring to play with the toys instead and keep them sated. Grabbing a kit, I leaped back down, rushing to see my beauty once again.

Her lassitude comforted me, she was not as nervous when she had something covering her blatant nudity. I took note of that before I bid her to shed the silken membrane once again and for her bosom to return to my sight. Mixing daubs on a fresh palette, I started at the place on her body, forgetting entirely about my nightmares within the intricacies of the paint. The pigment was cold against her breast and she let out a sigh as it touched with dank color. Soon I had put together sets of sunset colors and half her torso was imbricating with the wavering edges of rosy clouds and blended analogous tones. As the stars lost their light and the deep navy sky paled to a somber lilac, I was nearly complete, using a wet cloth to clean morsels of paint out of her fetching black bundle of hair.

Careful not to ruin any of my work, she gazed down at herself, eyes chatoyant with wonder at the scene of serenity that had become her body. Her curvaceous hips rang with the first notes of daylight and her pert chest with clouds nine and up. Ci’s face was the last visage of the night sky, painted with an eye for if it were fading with every passing moment. Curious, I grabbed the doll’s box with an epiphany on my mind. How exactly were Ci and the doll linked? Opening the casing, I found that the doll was sodden with paint, hues of gold dripping onto the velvet with globules of elegance. So they were physically imbued with whatever was happening to one another. A good thing to know.

Looking back at the window, I noted that the sky was turning the colors of autumn leaves, Ci’s colors. Motioning for her to follow me, I took her into the back to compare my work to the real thing. Due to her evocative body, I had to believe that Ci was the better representation of true splendor. Peering into the forest, I noted that some toys were staring, gnashing their sharp canine teeth at the meal before them. Being inside their demesne was not a good idea for either of us. I pulled Ci inside, no longer caring if I smudged her paintjob. Toys on the inside were poking and prodding the doll’s box with their small animated hands. Swiping them all away, I picked up Ci in my arms and laid the box on her stomach. We proceeded to the bathroom, and I locked the door, placing her down in the tub and putting the doll on the sink.

“Go on love. You can talk, tell me how I should better control my pets, why don’t you?” She was silent, “Of course, I can control you, and that’s why you’re not talking.” Again, her lips did not move, only vibrating with tremors of fright. The forest must have scared her out of her wits, if she had any. Unfortunately, it was going to get even worse if she did not consent to talk.

“Talk!” Roaring the word only made her tremble more and more; she tried to hide in the corner of the claw-footed tub, still too petrified to let words escape. I was no lion. I would never hurt her, why was she scared? We need to show the little pest who is boss. She will not ever have the will to disobey us if we hurt her now. The threat of it will keep her in line, no matter how much we would never really hurt her.

My mouth set in a grim line, I looked out of the bathroom window. Red eyes glowed from the forest, scuttling from tree to tree. If I made her feel true pain now, I would never have to keep her in the attic, or feed her to the forest for misbehavior. As long as I knew I would not ever take a hand to her, what harm could it be? It would only be a little slap around. An emollient to her voice, so to speak.

“Why won’t you talk?” I spoke softly, cocking my head to the side as if in deep thought. Advancing upon her, I grabbed her shoulders within strong hands, shaking her out of her reverie. Screaming, she struggled against me. “You dare defy me?” As tears tracked plastic-like droplets down her face, which stopped in mid-roll, like a freeze frame, she nodded her head in the negative, violently, casting them away. The dawn’s vista faded from her body as she whimpered against my will. She tried to scamper out of the tub, to run from the bruises I was just beginning to leave on her chest and abdomen, but I pulled her back in. We’re having fun now, aren’t we?

Ci was gasping in pain as I clutched at her retreat, she could not fight much longer. Pushing her finally against the back of the bathtub, she gave up. That was not that hard for us to endure. It was even good fun for us.

I turned on the water to hot, head feeling weightless with the sheer power I now possessed over her. Grabbing a sponge and soap, I got to work on clearing away my now-masticated pièce de résistance. Soap became the elixir that cleared away the canvas, rubbing it red and wholesome with the tessellating bubbles. I had not even stripped off my boxers, which were now sopping with the hydrogen oxide surrounding us. I was too busy concentrating on rubbing the paint out of every crease in her perfect casing. Looking over to the figurine on the sink, I noted that the color was washing out of its features. As my hands wandered closer and closer to inside her thighs, she got nervous, but was eventually sighing in content as the itchy pigments were removed from those uncomfortable areas.

Once she was finally clean of all the corrupting paint on her skin, I dried her off with gentle hands and took her into my connected room. There were no toys allowed in here, it was my private place. Now it could be Ci’s too. The room smelled of home, cigarettes, and musty velvet paneling. I laid her nude body upon the façade of the bed sheets, savoring the stunning contrast between her own snow white silk and the scarlet of the satin duvet.

“All I want is for you to talk. Nothing more, nothing less. I love you.” Laying a tender kiss on her lips, I let the daylight stream into our minds and clear out the night’s cacophony. Touching the posterior of her legs with my hand, she tugged at my hair, becoming embroiled in the kiss. She loves us too, she loves us too! I told you it would work! Stopping briefly, I looked into her impassioned eyes, the glimmering trust that was beginning to take hold in their unmoving glass. Trying something new, my hands roamed her body like they were performing embrocation in every cynosure of her flesh. After doing this for some time, she finally came to trust me somewhat, despite the gruesome purple bruising that had sprouted on some of her body.

“G- Gerard?” I responded with a kiss. Ci is finally talking to us! My mind ran a little marathon of happiness. She kissed me back, somehow anticipating my needs. But, as our lips smelted together, I realized that this was all a ruse. Ci was not talking to me because she trusted me! She was just doing what Frank told her to do, whatever I wanted. I could not possibly be content with that… I had to find a way to make her really want me.

Belleza, viene fuori.

Maybe she could spend some time with the other dolls, until she was ready to want me. Ci would stew until she begged for release, even if it meant loving me.