Life Coach

I'm an idiot.

I'm an idiot.

I'm an idiot.

I'm an--

"Kaner! Let's go!!" Coach yelled as the team sprinted from one end of the ice to the other.

Since Kara came and told me off, I've been sulking. I feel like I'm just walking around, no emotion, no soul, just body.

Every night her words float in my head. When I close my eyes, I see her standing there, tears streaming down her face, her words dripping with venom.

I hope she was worth the fuck because she's the only one that wants anything from you now.

And she was right. The guys didn't talk to me unless it was for hockey. I didn't hang out with any of them so I hid in my apartment until I needed to leave.

I am alone. I have no one there for me. I fucked up and lost the one person that was always on my side.

I should have listened to her. Every time she said to stay home, I should have listened to her. She was right about everything. She cared about me, that's why she did all of this.

She liked me.

How could I have missed that? I can always catch that kind of thing. She liked me and all I did was have sex and then tell her about it. Talk about a stab in heart. If I had known, I wouldn't have done all of that. I would've...I would've been happy. Everything would be different.

Since she admitted that, I saw the signs. She wasn't as forward as most women but the signs were there...now that I know.

If I could go back in time I would. I'd fix everything....but I can't.

I'm an idiot.

I keep telling myself to call Kara, to apologize for everything, to make it right. But I never did.

It's been weeks. I wouldn't be surprised if she deleted my number, blocked it even. I don't know if any of the guys talk to her, I don't know if she's still in school or if she's home. I don't know anything.

---

"Patrick Kane might of had a goal this game, but he seems to be lacking the excitement of everything. Bill, he's in the playoffs, his team has been doing very well, taking out the Ducks and they just eliminated the Sharks. The Blackhawks needs Kane there for the finals. Patrick Kane needs to shake off whatever is on his mind and focus on the next games."

"You gotta remember Dave, Kane has been under a lot of pressure, not just from his team but from the press as well. Since the questioning of a child, Kane slowed down. Since the news came out, he slowly started to make progeression but he's not at 100% like he was when the season started. Patrick Kane needs to forget everything and just focus on hockey for now. There's a lot at stake and if he's not with it, the Chicago Blackhawks won't have much of a chance in the finals."

Finals were counting down.

And our opponents were the Buffalo Sabres.

Game 1 of the finals was in two days. In two days, I had to defeat the favorite team of the girl I care about. In two days, she'll be watching the game has we fight for the win. I know she'll be watching. I just know it.

I was on my way to the locker room when I noticed Jon talking to someone. Usually at this time, Captain Serious was getting dressed but he was still in his street clothes.

Tazer must have heard me coming because he turned around only to reveal my last hope...Julia.

She glared at me as I approached them, her arms crossed over her chest and leaning against her right leg.

"Hey Julia, how's it going?"

"Just dandy."

"Um is..is..."

"No she's not here. I came alone." I felt my heart drop. I thought if Julia was here, Kara wouldn't be far behind.

"Where is she?" Maybe she is here but Julia's lying to me.

"That's none of your business."

"Julia, I'm sorry...for everything. I didn't mean to be a--"

"Dick? Asshole?"

"Yes. Julia...I need to talk to her. I need to fix this."

"Why? You don't deserve her after all of that. She's happy. Don't ruin that for her too." She's happy?

"Julia, I fucked up and I need to make it right. Please. I need to see her. I-I can't be without her."

"There's nothing you can do Kaner. You fucked up and you can't get that second chance." I let out a sigh and just left it. There's no way I'll ever get to see her again. I won't be able to make it right. I won't be happy.

"I'll do anything Julia. Please, just tell me how she is and what she's doing. If she's happy I want to really know."

"She's working."

"Where? Is she babysitting again? Is she working with the theatre again?"

"Look, she's working. She's happy. That's all you need to know."

"Come on Julia." She let out a sigh.

"She's not doing either."

"She's gotta be. She had the summer show all planned and stuff."

"She's not with the Syracuse theatre."

"Then where is she? She couldn't have just dropped off the face of the earth."

"She's with a travel company!" She yelled.

"A travel company? What's that?"

"It travels the U.S. She's probably on the other side of the country right now." She answered with a smirk.

Kara wasn't in New York? She could be anywhere in the U.S by now...and I have no way of reaching her. I might never see her again.

"Julia there's gotta be someway I can talk to her. I need too."

"You don't deserve her, Pat. She's going to be happy now that she doesn't have to put up with your shit anymore." She was just about to leave when I grabbed her arm.

"You're right, I don't deserve her but I need her. I need her more than anything right now. She-she's the only one that can help me through this."

"And where were you when she needed someone? Huh? She needed you too Patrick and you ignored it."

"I didn't know! I never saw the signs!!"

"Everyone saw the signs Patrick! Strangers probably saw it! You were the only one that missed everything."

"But I see it now! I see it and I want to do something about it. I need to talk to her, to get her to listen. If you were in my place, would you just give up?" She stayed silent and looked away from me. She was thinking about it. She would be doing the same thing I am. She would want to know.

"What would you do if you could talk to her? How would you get her here?"

"She won't respond to me. But she will respond to you or Jon. If one of you could get her here, I can try to talk to her."

"We did that during the first round of playoffs, remember?" She pointed out. Something has to get her here. Something has to bring her to Chicago.

"Is...is her show coming to Chicago?"

"God Pat, I don't know! She could be anywhere right now. And if they did come here, who knows when that is."

"It's worth the try. I'm willing to do anything." I whispered the last part.

"I...I can try. I can't promise anything."

"That's all I'm asking for. Let me know what you find." She gave me a subtle nod.

Julia got back to me a few days later. Kara's theatre group was going to be in Chicago during Game 5. By this time I was on edge with the games and by the press.

Lindsey was really getting the story out. People were buying her story and shaking their heads at me. I couldn't get away from them. The organization did everything they could to hide the story and to tell them that Lindsey was setting me up. I know this wasn't my kid. I've always been careful.

I needed Kara. Her personality has always been the one that can keep me sane. She knew how to make me feel better. I played better knowing she was always there for me. I made better choices knowing she was there for me.

Having Kara in the Chicago area was good enough for me. If she wouldn't listen to me, I tried and will move on from it but just one look at her, one acknowledgement was all I need to get through everything.

---

We were able to get through four games with two wins...and two losses. Everything was getting stressful; We were tied with the Sabres, Lindsey was publicly demanding money, and Kara was still not here.

But today was the day I'd see her for the first time in months. I had everything planned out. Everything was set.

Now I was left with counting down the hours until my plan happens.

Arriving at the arena, I spotted Julia eating a sandwich Tazer just made her, "Did you hear from her yet?" I asked. She nodded, swallowing the bite of peanut butter and jelly she was eating.

"She told me not many were coming but the producer thought it would be good publicity for the show."

"And she will be here?"

"Yes, she will be. You need to loosen up Kaner. Everything's going to work out." She didn't know that. Everything could blow up in my face and I'll be left with embarrassment and a low self esteem. This has to work. If it doesn't...I don't know what I'll do.

I stayed quiet as I got warmed up and got dressed. The guys were just as antsy as I was but for different reasons. Tonight I want to impress Kara. I want her to give her a reason to watch me play. I'm putting on my own show...and it's all for her.

Hours became minutes.

Minutes became seconds.

Warm-ups were done.

Coach Q's speech was finished.

And we were now making it back onto the ice to start Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Finals.

On the ice, I skated around and lined up with my fellow teammates for the National Anthems.

This is the moment. I finally get to see her again.

Two workers stood in front of the door where she'll walk through.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please stand and remove your caps for the singing of the National Anthems performed by Kara Harrison and Dominic Strong from the American Bound Traveling Theatre Company."

There she was. As beautiful as I remember...even if she was wearing Crawford's number. Her boots gave her a couple inches and her jeans shaped her muscled legs. She was smiling at the crowd, that same smile I see when I close my eyes.

She glanced at Dominic at her left side, as she was closest to the boards.

Look this way. Look at me

And she did. Even in the dark arena, her blue eyes pierced me. Her smile slightly fell when our eyes met.

Even if she wasn't happy to see me, the smile on my face proved I was happy to see her. Her response was a smaller smile and then she turned her head.

As Dom and Kara sang the the anthems, I would glance over at her getting as much as I could before she vanished into the crowd mixing with the sea of red and white.

Her voice was beautiful. I had never heard her actually sing before. It was like listening to an angel. Dom's voice complimented Kara's as they sang the harmony to both songs. I don't understand why she wouldn't want to be on stage with a voice like that. She would be the star every time.

The crowd erupted in cheers when the two finished the anthems. Dom and Kara smiled up into the fans, waving before they turned to leave. I watched her back face me as she walked down the red carpet to the door in the boards. But there was one thing I wasn't expecting. Kara turned around just before she crossed over, she looked over her shoulder, her eyes immediately finding mine and mouthed Good luck.

------------------------------------------------------

"You seriously must do something to that boy. He's a machine right now." Dominic yelled as Patrick scored the Blackhawks second goal making it a tied game.

"I didn't do anything. He's just playing really well."

"Kara...I've been watching the games. He hasn't played this well until you showed up. He obviously still thinks about you."

"We're at a hockey game Dominic. Save your Dr. Phil moments for later." I said brushing the subject off.

Patrick Kane couldn't still be thinking about me. He's got a so much on his plate that I'm sure that I'm the last person on his mind.

But that doesn't mean I haven't thought of him.

It's been months since I last talked to him, since I saw him.

Getting the phone call about singing the national anthems for Game 5 was a total shocker. I remember talking to Veronica about it the day it happened,

Can you sing Kara?" Veronica randomly asked as I was stitching up a dress for one of the chorus girls.

"Um, I suppose. Why?"

"Charlie just got a phone call from the Chicago Blackhawks," I dropped my stitching to stare at her wide-eyed, "They asked if some of our singers wanted to sing the National Anthems for Game 5. But the interesting thing was, they asked for you...specifically."

"Why would they want me to sing? I don't sing."

"Apparently you do. Charlie said that a guy named Jonathan Toews asked for you to do it."

Jon? He wouldn't know that I'm even in this group unless...Julia. I sighed.

"Kara...what's going on?"

"I'm, er, friends with Jon and my friend Julia is in Chicago with him. She must have told him I was making my way there with the theatre group."

"And they want you to sing the National Anthem? Now, Charlie and Julian are totally fine with this. It might help promote the show but...you aren't an actor. If people hear you sing and don't see you on stage...well it's going to be misleading."

"The actors can sing and I can just be there with them. We'd do it as a group."

"That's the thing, we've asked the other actors already and not many of them are interested in going to a hockey game. Dom and a few of the crew members said yes, but the actors...not so much."

"They probably don't know what hockey is." I mumbled. I've been with this group of people long enough to know that their minds don't go outside the world of Broadway. The only reason they know who the Yankees are because they're in New York City.

"Dom said he'd sing but he'll only do it if you sing with him. The crew members aren't interested in singing, they just want to go to the game."

"So it would just be the two of us?" She nodded. "I guess that's alright."

"I'll have you and Dom practice the anthems so you're ready. Remember, you're representing the theatre company."

"I'll do my best." I assured her.

We got that call back in April. In the months going into June for Game 5, Dom and I constantly practiced the anthems to the point people were telling us to stop. Dominic was excited to get the opportunity to do this. Since he was just as big of a hockey fan as me, going to the game was like a a kid going to Disney World for the first time. Add singing on national TV, it was unbelievable.

How can you not be as excited as me? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and you can sit still in your chair. I keep pacing!"

"Dom, it's just a hockey game. And you're use to singing in front of people. I don't understand what's so crazy about this." Dom stopped pacing and starred at me with his hands on his hips.

"What's gotten into you? You would be just as crazy as I am," He squatted down to my eye level, his hands resting on my knees. That look saying 'don't lie to me' all over his face.

"Nothing, I'm fine."

"Kara, I've known you for years. You're never this calm when it comes to hockey...what are you thinking?"I sighed. Dominic was one of a few that knows when I've got something on my mind. "Kara...is it because of Kaner?" I shrugged. "You need to forget about him. He's not worth your time. You've got like...30 other guys that want you there for them."

"But what if I see him?" I mumbled, my fingers twisting in the sleeves of my sweatshirt.

"If you don't want to do this Kara we don't have too."

"No, no I want too. I want to see Jon and Julia and the guys, but...what if I see him?"

"You don't even glance his way. Ignore him. He might be a hockey player but I am taller than him. And I know if he tries something, his team won't stop me from kicking his ass."

"He won't do anything. I bet he hasn't given me a second thought. He's got Lindsey. I wouldn't be surprised if he's with her and getting things ready for the baby."

"Do you honestly believe that Patrick Kane is going to get with a woman everyone knows is a phony and after his money? Do you really believe Patrick Kane would ever forget the one girl that was able to change him? To make him a better guy?"

"I never did that Dom. If I did, we wouldn't be in this situation."

"You have changed him Kara and he knows it. I bet you ten bucks all he thinks about is how he fucked up and how he's going to make it up to you." I shook my head. "I'm the same way when I mess things up with Nina. I can't stop thinking about what I did and what I'm going to do to make it make it up to her. I love Nina and I'd do anything for her."

"What are you getting at Dom?"

"Patrick Kane is in love with you. I wouldn't be surprised if he had something to do with us going to the game. He wants to see you again and probably talk to you." I shook my head again. "Kara...do you still care about him?" He watched me as I fought with myself. Did I still care? Why should I? Why wouldn't I?

"Would I be a fool if I did?" He smiled.

"Probably. Sometimes I think Nina is a fool to forgive me every time I fuck up. But she loves me enough to accept me for my faults and mistakes. And that's all I can be happy for. From the beginning, you've accepted this guys faults. You looked past everything and I have no doubt that if you give him a second chance...he will never, ever let you down again."

"You can't promise that."

"No I can't...You just have to have faith."

---

The days counting down to Game 5, I was on edge. I watched each of the playoff games leading up to our time in Chicago. I was in total support of my Sabres but 88 had my eyes when I saw it on the ice.

The day before the game, I couldn't sleep. I tried everything but I couldn't keep my eyes closed. The entire day of the game, Dom and I traded places. I was constantly on my toes and Dom was trying to keep me calm.

I was constantly checking my phone for the time. We would be heading to the arena soon to for meet and greets. Dom and I would practice the songs to get a feel for the arena. We sang a couple times until the players started to show for some warm ups.

Julia texted me when she arrived with Jon. She told me and Dominic where to meet her so we both headed that way when we finished. Her back was to me when we got to the room and she was alone looking at her phone. I snuck up behind her and jumped on her back, "Jesus Christ there's an elephant on me!!" She yelled.

"I'm not an elephant!!" I yelled back. She looked over her shoulder at me and smiled.

"No you're MY elephant!! Kara I'm so happy to see you!!" I jumped off and hugged her.

"How've you been? Where's Jonny bo--"

"Kara!!!" I was suddenly lifted off the ground and spun in a circle. He let me go and pulled me into a hug, "I'm so glad you're here! I haven't seen you in forever!"

"We've been so busy. Me with the show and you getting to the finals. This is awesome Jon. I'm so proud of you."

"So you're cheering for us at the game?" I avoided his eyes, biting my lip. "Seriously? You're cheering for the other team? I expected it from Julia but you...I don't know if I can play if you aren't cheering for me."

"You'll do fine. Are the other guys here?" I asked.

"Yeah, they're here. I'll go get them for you." Jon said. He wasn't going to let me go into the locker room if Patrick is there.

"Still protective I see." I nodded towards Jon's retreating body. Julia laughed.

"He's been like that since I got here."

"How long have you been here?" I asked raising an eyebrow. She blushed and rubbed her arms.

"Since school ended." She mumbled her answer. I smirked.

"Oh Julia, you remember my friend Dominic from the shows." I introduced. Dom and Julia had meet maybe a few times before. They smiled their greetings just as a stampede came charging down the hallway at us. I ducked behind Dominic and peeked around him.

"Stop hiding and come hug us!!" Corey yelled out, his arms wide open. I smiled and stepped around Dom running into Corey's arms. "Why haven't we seen you? We thought you'd be here when Julia showed up."

"I got an internship over the summer. Luckily we stop in Chicago." I answered Corey.

"We're happy you're here. Abby's been dying to see you since I told her you were coming." Sharpie said giving me a hug.

"Where is Abby and Madeline?"

"They'll be here later."

"So how has everyone been?" I asked the group of guys. They all mumbled their answers in response.

"A little birdie told us you're singing tonight." Corey pointed out.

"You heard correct. Dom and I are singing."

"I didn't know you could sing."

"Neither did anyone else." Dom answered Sharpie.

"Well we can't wait to hear it. But we gotta get going. We'll see you later tonight." Jon said. Everyone said their goodbyes and walked off to get ready.

"We should head back to the hotel and clean up." Dominic suggested. I nodded and turned to Julia.

"You're welcome to come with us." I offered.

"Sure. I won't be as bored." She said.

We left the arena without running into anyone. At the hotel we were staying at, Dominic went back to his room and I went to mine. My roommate was off someplace probably sight seeing or whatever. I showered quick and dressed in a pair of jeans and a Sabres short sleeve T-shirt, "Aren't you suppose to wear something Blackhawks?" Julia asked. I instantly pulled our my Crawford jersey and laid it on the bed. "You know, that's a good idea. I might have to do that."

"You wearing Jon's jersey tonight?" She blushed again. "Julia there's something going on with you and Jonny boy. Come on, spill."

"We...we're just friends. Nothing's going on."

"He hasn't done anything? What's been going on since you got here?"

"I go to games and practices with him. I cook his meals, do his laundry, his shopping."

"And he's never made a move?" She shook her head.

"Nothing. We'll sit there and watch TV or movies but nothing happens. What the hell is he waiting for?"

"The right moment maybe. He's got the playoffs on his mind. He might be waiting till they're done with."

I guess it's just driving me crazy! I'm practically living with him and we're...we're nothing...Maybe he doesn't like me like that." I went over to her and sat down.

"That is far from true. Everyone knows that he likes you. I'm sure he's just waiting for the right moment. Ooo maybe he'll ask you when they win the Stanley Cup."

"Oh my god!" She cried falling back on the bed.

"What's the problem now?"

"The Sabres are winning the Stanley Cup!! Jon will never ask me out now!!" I rolled my eyes at her.

"Julia, I'm sure once the season is over, he'll ask you. Give him time. Now help me look cute for national TV." She groaned and got up to help curl my hair. Dom showed up a couple minutes later with his iTouch.

"Okay Kara, let's practice. We have to be perfect." He said sitting on the side of the tub.

"Hey Dom, come on in. Make yourself at home."

"Don't be a smart ass Kara. This is national TV we're talking about." Julia and I rolled our eyes but allowed Dom to start the Canadian National Anthem on his iTouch. I don't know what this boy is worried about. He can sing in front of audiences galore. Me...

Singing in front of an arena of people might make my hands shake but seeing Patrick Kane one more time makes my knees weak.

---

So here we are.

The arena was filled with red and white, with little bits of blue scattered in different levels. The main lights were off and spotlights surfed the cheering crowd. The players skated around the ice, taking shots at the nets and doing some passing drills. I kept my eyes on Dominic as we did some voice warm ups. Occasionally the person in charge would give us warnings for when to start, "Alright. You can step out onto the carpet now. Here's your microphones. You can start after the announcer speaks." We nodded and stood right in front of the door. I was gripping the microphone, my nerves kicking in. Dominic noticed my white knuckles and put his arm around me.

"You're going to be perfect." He whispered to me. He smiled and I returned it. With one last squeeze, we stepped over the boards and walked onto the carpet. I took slow, even breaths as I waited for the announcer to finish.

I had to try and not look at Patrick. It wasn't easy especially when I have that feeling that someone is watching me. When I looked around the arena, I saw him starring at me. The ear to ear smile that was once on my face fell slightly.

I knew this would happen. As soon was he was in my sight, I'd slowly break down.

I miss him. He could beg on his knees and I'd probably give in to him in a second. But I have to be strong. I can't give in, I can't let him think he can get away with what he did. He hurt me, and the least he can do is hurt just as much.

---

The intense game between the Sabres and Blackhawks wasn't getting any easier as the minutes passed and we were tied at 2. I gripped Dominic's hand tightly. My heart was racing at the top speed as the puck glided back and worth on the ice.

Ryan Miller and Corey weren't letting anything pass them anymore. Both wanted this win. The both teams wanted this. Anyone could win this game right now. I knew who ever won this game I'd be happy for them, but someone had to lose. So do I pick my number one team, or my friends?

The shots on goal never made it past the goalies but that didn't stop the players from taking shots. "Someone needs to score!!" Julia yelled as Nathan Gerbe skated by the glass.

"Yell a little louder Julia, he didn't hear you." I said sarcastically.

"SOMEONE NEEDS TO SCORE RIGHT NOW!!!!" This time she banged on the glass and Sharpie heard her, looking over at us and saluting her. "Not you!!! I didn't mean you!!!" She replied back to his action.

"Way to go Julia. Now the Hawks will score." Dom teased.

"Do not joke abo--" She was cut off by the sound of a buzzer. The goal buzzer. The arena jumped to their feet in happiness for their home team. And those dressed in blue and gold remained in their seats, shaking their heads. "They'll come back...they have too." Julia mumbled as the Hawks celebrated their goal.

The Sabres fought hard to tie up the game but Corey was a brick wall and for the last ten minutes of the game, nothing got past him. The Blackhawks ended the game with a 3-2 victory and a 3-2 lead in the playoffs.

"Come on, let's head down." Dominic said wrapping his arms around Julia and I in comfort. We squeezed our way passed the fans and some of the media to get to the lounge where the families of the guys were celebrating.

"Why the long faces? We just won!" Abby praised noticing our sadness.

"The Sabres lost." Julia mumbled. Abby smiled and shook her head.

"You better put a smile on your face before Jonny sees you like that." She warned before walking off to the other WAG's.

"I just want to go over there and hug Nathan Gerbe."

"Me too Julia...me too."

"Why don't the two of you go step outside or something and have your own pity party while the rest of us celebrate?" Smartass Dominic suggested.

"You're from New York. You should be cheering for Buffalo." I pointed out then walked out of the lounge with Julia. We stopped in the hallway between the two locker rooms and sat on a empty table. I pulled out my bag of Skittles that I always brought with me and began eating away my sorrows. Julia and I just sat there in silence as we soaked in the loss.

The sounds of little steps came from the left side of the hallway. A boy with blonde, curly hair came running towards us, a smile on his face and a Sabres shirt bared loud and proud, "Hey...you have Skittles." The little boy said as he pointed to the bag in my hand. "Can I have some?"

"Where are your parents?" I asked handing him one piece. This was not going to look good to a passerby. But this kid was too young to be walking around on his own. If the Skittles will keep him with us, that's the best decision.

"Daddy's getting changed." He answered. Daddy? This kids father is...

"Oh my god" Julia must have realized this too and we starred at each other wide eyed.

"What's your name?" I asked squatting down to the boys level.

"Jayden"

"Okay Jayden, how about we take you back to you dad. We don't want him worrying about you." I said. Jayden nodded and took more Skittles from the bag. I took his other hand and Julia and I walked the same way Jayden had come from.

We approached the visitors family lounge, and pushed the door open. On the other side was the Buffalo Sabres and their families. We knew what we were getting into but when we came face to face with all of the players, my nerves took over.

"Pomi, we found him." Someone yelled. Soon we were approached by Jason Pominville, Derek Roy, and Ryan Miller.

"Jayden, where in the world have you been? You can't run off like that." Jason said to, I'm guessing, his son. I didn't know he had children.

"Daddy, they have Skittles!" Jayden exclaimed, showing his father the candy pieces in his tiny palm.

"We're really sorry. We figured candy would get him to not run away so we could bring him back." I explained. Jason smiled.

"That's alright. Thank you for bringing him back. He must've wandered far." He said nodding at our Blackhawk jerseys.

"Oh no, we were near by. Didn't want to get mixed with the media." I replied.

"So you know the Hawks." Derek asked.

"Hawks fans? They're not allowed here!" Patrick Kaleta must have noticed the random red in the room. This got the attention of the others around us, including Nathan Gerbe, Tyler Ennis, Tyler Meyers, and Luke Adams. If I thought I was nervous before...now it is worse.

"We're actually Sabres fans. We're from Rochester." Julia told them, trying to convince them we came in peace.

"Then why are you wearing Chicago jerseys." Tyler Ennis asked. Julia and I lifted up the bottom of our jerseys to reveal the Sabres shirts underneath. The guys let out a laugh.

"She sang the National Anthems." Tyler Meyers answered.

"Um, yeah. One reason I'm wearing the jersey." I added.

"Understandable. Well thank you for bringing Jayden back. Is there anything I can do you two?" Jason offered.

I wanted to slap myself. I'm in close proximity of the Buffalo Sabres and I have nothing for them to sign...I'm an idiot.

"We don't have anything to sign." Julia answered.

"Are you heading back to Buffalo for the next game?"

"I'll be there but..." Julia looked at me.

"I won't make it. I'll be in Detroit." I added.

"Detroit? What's in Detroit?"

"She's with that theatre group thing, remember?" Tyler Meyers pointed out.

"Looks like someone was paying attention, eh Meyers?" Derek joked but the harmless tease didn't stop the blush from crawling onto my face, and Tyler's as well.

Why so Serious? blurted out in our small group. I looked over at Julia, where the sound came from, and raised my eyebrow. She pulled her phone from her pocket and looked at the message.

"Ha ha, sorry. Um, Jon's looking for us."

"That's his ringtone?" I asked laughing.

"Shut up." She shoved my shoulder to get me to stop laughing.

"Okay, okay. Well guys we need to go. Good luck in the next game. Kick some ass." I said waving to the Buffalo players. The guys waved and just before we left Jason said, "If you ever need anything, let me know. Maybe we'll see you next game?" I shrugged.

"Maybe. Have a safe flight home."

Outside of the Sabres locker room, Julia and I let out a series of squeals then calmed down enough to head back to the Hawks locker room.

A bunch of the guys were standing there waiting for us, "Where the hell have you two been?"

"We waited down the hall and found Jason Pominville's son so we brought him back."

"We ended up talking to the team for a little." Julia finished my answer to Jon.

"We need to head back to the hotel." Dominic said.

"And we need to get to the airport. Our flight leaves in a few hours."

"Can I go to the airport to say bye? I don't know when I'll see them again." I asked Dom. He smiled and nodded.

Dominic decided to drop the rest of the crew off at the hotel and he'll come pick me up later. I rode with Jon and Julia to the airport.

---

The guys walked out to the airplane and prepared their stuff to get on the plane. I hugged everyone and wished them luck, promising to watch on TV.

The families were saying their private farewells before they got on the plane. I was standing off to the side, watching everyone hug and kiss their significant other. Dominic hadn't showed up yet and Julia was chit-chatting with Jon about whatever. I can't imagine they have anything to say that can't be said on the plane but with the way their 'relationship' was going, I stopped thinking about it.

"Kara?" I froze at the sound of the one voice that floats in my memory every minute of the day. I was hoping that it wasn't really him, but when I looked over my shoulder he was standing right there. "Um are...are you going to Buffalo with us?"

"No. I need to get back on the road." His face dropped when I answered. He moved closer to me so he was in my view.

"Kara...please forgive me for everything. I've been an idiot and I want to make things right."

"Pat, it's too late for tha--"

"No! It's not! Kara, I've been miserable without you. I need you in my life Kara. Please forgive me." God did I want to say yes and pull him into my arms but I had to stay strong. So I didn't say anything.

Patrick took my hands, his thumbs brushing the top of them, "I know I don't deserve a second chance. Everyone has told me that but if you can give me a second chance, I promise to change. I won't go out, I won't drink. I'll change. I'll do anything for you Kara and you have my word. Just let me do it over again. I'll be a better guy, a better friend." I blinked away the tears that threatened to fall. I cannot let him get to me.

"I-I can't Pat. I just--"

"Answer me this...Do you still like me?" That's when I finally looked at those blue orbs. I wanted to scream Yes! but my mouth went dry at the thought of revealing this to him again. I had told him months ago but I wanted him to think I was over him but something was giving me away. Patrick could tell that I was lying to him and I haven't even said a word.

"I know you still do. You can't even answer me. Just tell me you still like me." He whispered, moving closer to me so his words wouldn't escape our little group. His hands left mine and were placed on my cheeks. I dropped my head knowing my tears escaped without permission but Patrick lifted my face back up, his fingers lacing into my hair. "Kara, you've changed me. I haven't stopped thinking about you. What you said to me months ago haunt me every day. I need you in my life Kara. Please...don't leave me like this." His eyes searched mine but as tears fell. He wiped them away but they continued to fall.

Patrick leaned in and his lips laid softly on mine. The feel of his lips, as softly placed as they were, was just what I always dreamed about. Month after month had I imagined what they felt like on mine.

This kiss started off soft and innocent, as if we were two teenagers kissing for the first time. Pat pressed his lips a little harder to mine, his lips began to move against mine but no matter what I was telling my brain, my heart somehow controlled my responding lips.

This is what I've always wanted. To have him in my arms, his lips pressed to mine in a way no other man felt like. There were no more questions about what it would be like because right now it was happening.

This realization woke me up from this fantasy and I pulled away taking two or three steps back from him. Even when he took a step forward, I backed away.

I had broken down and let him in. And now I was going to pay for it.

"Kara I-"

I covered my mouth and new tears fell down my cheeks. I had to get out of here. I had to be anywhere but here. I turned on my heel and took off.

This was the third time I stormed away from Patrick Kane. The only difference between now and the times before was I wanted to go back to him. I didn't want to leave like this. Not after what just happened.

But what was I suppose to do? What was he even thinking doing that? Did he really think it would change my mind? He kisses me and I just have to get up and leave to travel the country. What was he expecting me to do when he kissed me?

Did he want me to drop everything, fly to Buffalo with him, watch them finish up the finals, and either bask in the glory of winning or comfort after a tough loss? Did he think I was going to be swept off my feet? That I'd be with him? That I'd forgive him?