Nowhere, Anywhere, Somewhere

16

Meg POV

I walked into the kitchen and over to the counter where mom was, and started helping her bread the catfish. 

" It's good to have ya home suga pie," she said quietly," even If it's only for a few days"

I watched my mom's hands as she breaded the fish. 
I love those hands. 
All my life those hands have done so much for Will and me in our lives. They cook, they clean, they style, they give a soothing touch. 

And right now I wish I could tell her how confused I was, and hope that maybe her hands could soothe me again.
But she would never understand. 

My mothers life has been very simple. She does the same thing everyday, never breaking the chain. She has always had one mindset; Do your work, love your family, follow God's word. 

So I'm sure she would disapprove of my feelings for a married man. 

" You're awfully quiet. Something on your mind?" my mom spoke. 

I stopped cutting fish and looked up at her and shrugged.

She rose an eyebrow," Megan Adelaide. Don't lie to me. I'm ya mother and I know you, now what's wrong?"

I sighed, smiling a bit as I heard laughter coming from the living room. 

" Things are just a bit confusing right now. I'm sure it'll get better. "

She huffed, but accepted the half ass answer and we went back to cooking. 

The next thirty minutes flew my as my mind wandered, and before I knew it it was time to eat. 

Momma was calling Lindsay and all the boys in and I sat at the table, waiting patiently. 

" No! no! No!" momma screamed, smacking Zacky's hand with a wooden spoon. "you sit at the table and I'll bring you your food! That's how it works in my house. " she said harshly. 

Zacky chuckled nervously and sat down at the table next to me,"Yes M'am". 

I smiled at him, raising an eyebrow. 

"shut up" he grumbled. One by one everybody else sat down. 
Mat, Jimmy, and Lindsay sat to my right whereas Charlie, Johnny, and Brian sat on my left. 

" Where's everybody else?" I asked. 

Mom shrugged," William went to go call the men in I guess."

"Wait...there's gonna be more people?" Johnny asked, surprised. 

He was answered by the door swinging open, and four people walking in. 

Will kissed momma's cheek and sat across from me, still laughing. 

Randy, Bobby, and...Jack sat down as well. 

I looked down, avoiding his gaze. 

My parents didn't know how it ended between us, so they have no reason to fire him. Jack works as a ranch manager here, and I seemed doomed to never be rid of him. 

" Boys, this is Randy, our stable hand, Robert-err...Bobby, sorry- and Jackson. " 

A couple of the guys went quiet. 

" Hey" Jimmy managed, feeling the tension. 

Brian locked eyes with me, searching for an answer. I nodded, silently begging him not to make a scene. 

He locked his jaw, visibly angry and sat in silence. 

" Ok, let's eat shall we?" Momma said, placing several platters on the table. 

" Looks good Mrs. Elise. " Matt said with his dimpled grin. 

Momma blushed," Why thank you Matthew. It's nothing. Enjoy."

And we dug in. 

----------------------------

After dinner, I found myself sitting alone on the back porch in the dark with a mug of coffee, feet propped up on the banister as I sat in a rocking chair. 

I heard footsteps behind me but didn't turn. 

I knew who it was. 

" What do you want Brian?" I asked.

I heard him sit beside me in a different chair. 
" Easy tiger. No need to be rude." he joked. I sighed, turning my head to look at him through the dim light. 

" Why did you come out here?" I asked, simply wanting some alone time. 

I needed time to clear my thoughts, and being around the person all of my thoughts were revolving around recently. 

Brian sighed, running his fingers through his normally styled hair that was becoming increasingly messy. 

" I just wanted to talk to you us all. Is that a crime?" he snapped. 

I winced, taking a sip of my coffee before setting it down and turning to him. 
"No. Sorry. I didn't mean to sound so harsh."

He chuckled. " It's fine Meg. I take it your family doesn't know about Jacky?" he asked. 

I groaned," I could tell them. I just couldn't. They adore Jack. At least the side they know of him. I couldn't have them disappointed in me again?"

"Again?" He frowned.
I shook my head,"It's nothing. Maybe I'll tell you later."

He leaned forward, taking my hand. 

"I hate how you do that." he whispered, his thumb running circles in the top of my hand.

" Do what." I spoke softly, enjoying this moment more than I should. 

" Hide yourself away. I mean, fuck! Don't you trust me? I know we've only known each other for a short time but do you really think I would screw you over like that?" he ranted. 

I shook my head swiftly. 

"No! No it's not that. I just have always bottled things up I guess. It's what I'm used to. But...Brian? What are you doing?" I stopped short, breath hitching as he moved closer and closer to me. 

"Shut up," he teased,face almost touching mine," I just wanna try something. "

I felt my eyes flutter closed and then it happened. 

Brian's lips decamped upon mine with a tenderness I had never previously experienced. Heat instantly erupted inside my heart as our lips moved in perfect unison, dancing in the moonlight. 

I wrapped my arms around his neck, climbing into his lap as the kiss deepened, growing in passion and force as it went on. 

Brian's hands traveled lower on my back, resting on my hips tightly. 

I moaned when his lips detached from mine and landed on my collar bone, sucking and nibbling as he left his mark. 

Then I saw a glint of silver in the moonlight. 

His wedding ring. 

"No! I yelled, crawling out of Brian's lap and stumbling onto the porch. " We can't do this. You're married for gods sake Brian!" I exclaimed. 

Brian stood up, following me and pinning me to the railing behind me. 

" So?" he asked with a devilish grin, attacking my neck with his sinful mouth again. 

I struggled to find my words as my thoughts and willpower wavered. 

"S-Soo it's w-wrong." I pushed him away, stepping out of his grasp. 

"Fuck Meg!" he yelled, punching the banister. " What do you want from me?!!?" he asked hotly. 

I choked on my tears, holding them back as I stepped away. 

" Nothing you're able to give. And as long as that ring is on your finger-" I pointed to the little silver band of heartbreak resting in his left finger"- then that's just the way its gotta be."

I gave him one last look and turned on my heel, leaving him standing there, head in his hands, and leaning on the taking looking out over the dark horizon.