Nowhere, Anywhere, Somewhere

Meg POV

The air was slightly chilly as we walked out the front doors of the building, and i wrapped my arms around my body.

" Here" Brian said, shrugging off his hoodie and wrapping it around me.
I sighed,eyeing him warily" Thanks."

Brian shiffed and pulled out a pack of cigarettes as we took the path though the park, and dug around for a lighter.

" Here." I said, pulling mine out of my pocket and flicking it, holding up the flame for him.

He smirked, shaking his head as he lit the end of the bud, enhaling the nicotine into his lungs.

" How's Michelle?" I asked, breaking the awkward silence.

There was no one else out here tonight, and the path was empty and dark, sections lit up my street lights.

He took a moment to respond." Good, i think. Stressed. Val's been helping her out...."

I rose an eyebrow," Do i sense a tension? Y'all having issues?" I sneered.
He chuckled, not at all fazed by my attitude.

" You could say that, look, Meg, I-"

" Why did you bring my out here?" I cut him off, " If it's to appologize i really dont want to hear it. We had one, stupid, little thing between us. Thats it."

Saying those words so nonchalantly caused an ache in my chest.
I'm in love with him an i know it, but he doesn't need to.

He stiffened, grabbing my by the shoulders and turning my towards him, looking me dead in the eye," Look, What happened, it's my fault. I initiated everything. I started this. And for that i'm sorry. I had no idea that i would grow to lo-like you. How could i have known." His eyes were deep and passionate and undr the light where we stood ,rimmed red, like he had been crying. His tan skin was paler than usual. I saw he had taken his nose ring out, and it bothered me.

And then i processed what he said- or more of what he didn't say. What he almost said.My heart fluttered in my chest, beating loudly. Did i hear that?

" No, that wasn't it. What did you mean to say?" i asked him, taking a step forward.

He looked away, taking a few steps away from me and pinching the bridge of his nose.

" I love you, Meg. Okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? I'm in love with a woman i hardly know who i slept with once. But i have Michelle, and a baby on the way- niether of them deserve this. This...situation."

I held back some tears and nodded, tucking a piece of my blonde hair behind my ear.

" I love you too" i whiapered, looking up into his eyes.

His widened for a moment before he grimaced.
" I wiah you wouldn't have said that."

My brows furrowed," Why?"
Did he not want me to love him?

" Because it would have been so much easier if you didn't. I could live with loving you if you didn't feel the same. I could be a miserable bastard for the rest of my life. But i don't want you miserable too."

I choked on tears and gasped as his strong arms wrapped around me, pulling us togther.
His lips touched mine gently and that was it.
My control went out the window.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, lips searching his hungrily, wanting everything i could get out of this moment. Because who knows the next chance i'll get.

" Meg, i need you in my life, i dont care how. But i need you. Tell me you'll be here. Tell me you wont leave me."

i gasped, pushing him away," You're married, Brian! You're willing to go behind her back? To have amisress? Is that all i'll ever be? Some girl on the side? What about twhen the baby comes? Huh? Will you push me aside too?"

He glared, yanking my arms towards him, crushing his lips to mine once more.

We were like two teenagers, just discovereing eachother, not being able to stay away.

The heat beween us was scorching and suddenly a light fever broke out across the back of my neck, giving me chills.

" No. You're so much more to me than that, Meg. So much more." He whispered, kissing me gently once more before pecking my forhead and wrapping his arms around me.

I dug my head into his chest, listeing to his heartbeat.
" So what do we do?" i whispered into the silent night air, sniffing.

Brian's calloused hands rubbing circles on the small of my back.

' We'll just have to figure that out as we go along i suppose."

i nodded.

I hate myself for not being stronger, but when i'm around Brian i have no control. I would do anything for him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Brian and i seperated ways i walked around a bit more before returning to the room.
I really need to look into finding an apartment.
Because i plan on sticking around.

" So? What happened?" Lins asked as i stepped inside.
She looked a lot better after having talked to Will. She looked happier.

I sighed, flopping out on the bed," I'm in trouble, Lins. I think i just got myself into something i don't think i want to get out of."