How to Save a Life

I awoke screaming at the top of my lungs. My hands were tangled in the blankets and it felt like my heart was beating though my chest. It didn’t take long for Zane and a couple nurses to get there. Zane looking like he was having a heart attack from the scream. The nurses dove for the charts in fear that I was having something go wrong with my body again, but Zane found his way to me. Just as I found my way into his arms to sob harder then I ever had before into his shoulder. I didn’t care about the pain of him holding me, I didn’t care about anything but the fact that he was holding me. He wasn’t gone, hopefully he’s not leaving anytime soon.

“Emily? Baby, what’s wrong?” He whispered into my ear. But it was so hard to hear him over my sobs. I didn’t want to answer him. I just clutched him close and cherished the fact that he was still here in my arms.

I don’t think I have ever been so scared in my life. No nightmare has ever been worse for me. I didn’t care that he has hurt me, I didn’t care about what we have been through together, all I care about is that I have him. I can’t loose any other person. Everyone has left me, I can’t let him do the same thing.

Zane is my life now. If a dream about him wanting to leave me hurt this much I can’t imagine what it would feel like without him. I can’t live without him anymore. The hurt that shot through my heart during that dream was to much to bare already.

“She needs to calm down, she cannot get so worked up in her condition.” One of the nurses demanded to Zane. I felt my fingers ball into the sleeves of his shirt. Still finding myself scared that he was going to leave. More sobs racked out of my chest. I barely had enough room to breath between them. It hurt my chest to move in this way.

“What do you expect me to do about it?” He snapped. Holding my closer and rubbing his fingers up and down my back. “Emily, shh. Honey, you’re hurting yourself. Shh.”

“If she doesn’t calm down we are going to have to sedate her.” The other nurse informed. “If she keeps hypervenalating like this she is going to pop her stitches. Please calm her down.”
“I can’t.” Zane growled. Beginning to rock my gently. “Please calm down, baby.” I found his pleads useless, the more he tried the more I sobbed. He tried over and over, scared of what happened and that I was going to truly hurt myself. “Just sedate her, she isn’t going to stop.”

It wasn’t long before I found myself going weak in his arms. My tears still running but the sobs forced to stop. I found that I couldn’t move myself. Like I was frozen. Sooner then later I was breathing shallowly again, and felt tired once more. But I couldn’t allow myself to go to sleep. I didn’t want to feel that pain again. I didn’t want to relive that fake loss. It was to much to bare.

“I’ll watch over her.” I heard Zane promise. I was also quite sure that I was hearing the nurses’ leave as well. Slowly, like I frightened them as well. Which was probably the case.

Zane rested me back onto the cot. Prying my fingers off his shirt and tucking the blanket around me once more. My head sunk into the pillow without my permission. It was like I had no control over everything my body did. The only thing that was my doing, was all of the tears still streaming down my cold cheeks.

His warm fingers began wiping them away softly. He sat next to me and pulled my dark red hair from my eyes. When he did that he found my eyes lids struggling to stay open. I felt the dark sleep tugging at them to close.

“Just sleep, baby. It’s okay. I’m here, I’ll protect you.” I don’t think it was his promises that made me sleep, I know it was the medication. But it was nice to hear him say that, though my heart is still so weary about him leaving. I never want him to leave me.

***(Flash-forward)***

I jerked awake. Finding the sun leaking through the windows. Zane’s hand tightened around mine and he carefully leaned in to kiss my cheek. His gorgeous green eyes had black bags underneath them, instantly telling me that he stayed up all night with me.

“Hey baby.” He whispered. “You okay?” I nodded and tightened my fingers around his as well. “You want to tell me about it?”

“Don’t leave me.” I whispered. Feeling more tears start to fall. Zane face just gave me the most surprised expression he’s ever wore.