Black Hearts of Chrome and Battle Scars

With Shiloh on my back I began walking through the muddy field. Why do I vaguely remember this place being a million times drier earlier? Not that I care but my boot sort of do.

“Andy?” I grunted. It’s not that she weighs very much, but I’m not all that muscular. C’mon look at me for Christ’s sake! I’m Andy Biersack I’m nothing more than a thin stick that I’m sure if you tried hard enough that you could snap me in two. But to be honest I like being that way.

“Um…why are you so different?” Shiloh’s words were mumbled into my back.

“What do you mean?” the vibrations that her words had made on my back made me smile. But her question truly did make me questionable. Am I different in a good way or bad?

“I mean, you don’t want to go on stage, you’re not a piss head, hell you seem like a normal person, why?” she leaned forward.

She wants to know why I’m different. As in why I won’t go stage and why I’m actually nice to her. Well... I don’t want to tell her about Scout and I because then I’d sound like some whiny rockstar, which when I last checked I’m not.

But there’s just something about her that makes me not be a complete dick to her like everyone else is. I don’t know... just some of the things I’ve seen her doing remind me of Scout. Like this afternoon in the rain? That was a very Scout thing of her to do. And that’s probably what drew me to her.

“Where did you say your boots were?” not wanting to give her any of the awnsures that I had come up with I changed the subject back to what we were supposed to be doing.

“Hmmm….I’m not sure, but they’re were stuck in mud.” That isn’t any help. This place is covered in mud. I turned around. We might be here all night looking for her boots. Of course I’m fine with that.

“Hey, um….there’s a hill here, are you sure you want to carry on?” smiling I stopped waiting for her reply. For all I know she might not want to go on any further.

“Onwards and forward soldier.” Shiloh whisper screamed in my ear as I began to carry her down the hill at a rate in which I didn’t think we were going to slip. But, sadly, I am Andy Biersack and I am a total klutz. And before we knew it we were both laying in the mud. When I looked over at Shiloh who was covered in mud I chuckled, but I began to laugh harder when she started laughing too.

“Fuck the mud!!” still laughing she scooped up a handful of it in her hand and chucked it at my head.

“What do you mean fuck mud? Fuck you!” she giggled watching me grab a hunk of mud. Tossing it at her she screamed.

“Fuck me? Why? I’m nothing more than an innocent girl that you just threw mud at. If anything, fuck you!” acting as innocent as possible she threw another glob of mud at me.

Oh so this is where this is going? Crawling over to her with two handfuls of mud I pinned her down and began smearing the mud all over her shirt. Shiloh laughed and tried to fight back. But luckily even though I’m nothing more than a lanky Andy Biersack I was still stronger than her.

“Ahhh! Andy you’re so evil!” I let my head fall back in laughter as she screamed.

“Oh. I know I am.” but before I knew it she had me pinned down. I groaned thinking how hard it was going to be to get all the mud off of the back of my jacket.

“But so am I!” her hands were full of mud. Running her hands over my torso she managed to get not only my chest but my pj pants and the inside of my jacket full of mud. That’s something Scout would have done. A sudden pang of sadness and guilt washed over me. I miss Scout so much and hear I am messing around with Shiloh.

I let Shiloh finish up attack me before I stood up again. She gave me a weird look when I stopped fighting back and started wiping mud off my body.

“Hey, we can um, find your boots in the morning or something. Okay?” I pulled her back up to her feet she nodded looking down.

“Oh. Okay.” sighing to myself I got myself back in the ready position to carry her again. What I expected for her to do was jump on my back and demand that I move forward but instead she shook her head no. “Oh, no it’s fine. I can walk this time.”

I tried to smile as we walked side by side back up the hill. The whole walk back was painfully quite. Yep. I Andrew am a dumbass and a dick head. If I haven’t screwed up on relastionship with my ex then I’ve screwed myself over in a new friendship. FML.