So Easy to Love

After two days in the hospital, we were able to bring baby Bentley home. I was so excited. And from all the phone calls, Landon was excited to meet his little brother too. Tanner’s dad and step mom kept him while I was in the hospital. We figured he’d get a little too excited, so it was best that he stayed home.

However, I had taken Porsche advice… I called for a DNA test. They were going to send the stuff to the house and I had to get the samples. This should be fun… I don’t want to do it with Tanner knowing! But… maybe I should tell him.

By the time I got home, I saw a box on the counter and I just knew that was it. I quickly grabbed it and hid it before Tanner could see it… and then Landon came running in. He came right up to me and wrapped his little arms around me. Aw my baby. But that fricking hurt!

“Mommy’s soar, bud,” Tanner chuckled once a grunt came out of me.

“Oh… sorry,” he smiled up at me just like Tanner does. It’s still super cute. “Where is he?!” he quickly shifted gears.

Tanner gently put the car seat down so that the brothers could be introduced to each other. Landon just kind of stared at him in awe for a few seconds before cracking a smile. Aw it was so cute.

Tanner’s parents came into the kitchen to meet their grandson. I asked them if I could have a minute with Tanner and they kindly accepted and took the two boys into the room.

Once they were gone, Tanner came over and hooked his arms around me tightly, but still being so gentle. He even left multiple kisses on my cheek… I don’t know if I’m going to have many of those in the next few minutes.

“I need to tell you something,” I started softly.

“I know I need to keep my hands off of you for four to six weeks…” he countered through a cheeky grin, making me roll my eyes.

“No,” I pushed out through a giggle. “Before your accident, we were… having a fight,” I started to come clean.

“A fight?” he asked with his features wrinkled up.

“Yeah… I wasn’t… faithful to you,” I muttered, not feeling worthy to be in his arms anymore. I still haven’t forgiven myself for what I did to him… and now I have to tell him all over again.

He was staring back at me with so much running through those blue eyes. This was slowly killing me.

“I don’t know if… Bentley’s yours,” I pushed out, trying to control my tears.

It wasn’t working very well though. I lost it. This was so much worse than the first time. It was just… seeing Tanner so happy with that baby and now… he was just told that it may not be his. I don’t think it is, but…

While tears poured out of my eyes, a pair of toned arms came around me, pulling me against their chest. Why is he doing this? He’s not supposed to be accepting of it!

“That’s my baby. No one’s going to take him away from me,” he muttered softly while rubbing his hands up and down my back.

“I got a test if you… want to know,” I sniffled while wiping my tears.

“I do, but… it’s not going to affect how much I love him,” he replied while bringing his thumbs up to run under my eyes to catch my stray tears.

“Why are you being so… positive right now?” I couldn’t hold in.

“I kind of… remember having this conversation,” he chuckled softly.

“Really?” I kind of laughed. He gets random memories flooding through his head still. Was that one of them?

“I think you said… I’ve always been there. The only guy that baby knows is me,” he tried to contain his smile.

“I’m so sorry I put you through this,” I started to sniffle again.

“Shhh, we’ll take the test and we’ll go from there ok?” he hugged up to me again.

Even though I wish this wouldn’t have happened, I still smiled. What did I do so right to deserve such a great guy? We slowly pulled away from each other, but not before he left a soft kiss on my cheek. He said he’d go get Bentley real quick so we could get this done and sent out. It would take five to ten days… that feels like a lifetime! But it had to be done.

I felt bad as I was swabbing the inside of my newborn’s mouth. He started fussing and eventually crying. Once I put the oversized q-tip into it’s container, I cradled him tightly, waiting for Tanner to finish his half. Once they were both done and sealed off ready to be shipped out, Tanner held his arms out for the crying baby. Right away he quieted down. I really hope that’s a good sign.

Even though I wasn’t supposed to drive, I still took the envelope up to the post office. I needed these results now, not later. I knew these next few days were going to be so long. I know Tanner’s being pretty positive now, but… what happens if those results come back and… he’s not the father? The first test said that. The accuracy wasn’t the greatest, but there’s still a chance.

Until the day come when the results are back, I’m going to try and enjoy this time with Tanner, Bentley, and Landon and of course Porsche if she decides to stop by with her boy toy. I have a sinking feeling that… those results are going to make the Foust family stronger or… completely tear it apart.