So Easy to Love

I woke up and fell to the ground with a loud thud. I laid there, looking around me. I knew for sure that I wasn't at my house. I pushed myself up a little and stumbled trying to regain my balance. I then realized that I was at my dad's house. I peaked out the window to see that my car was there, halfway across the lawn. I instantly felt the urge to vomit and clumsily found my way into the bathroom, where I pretty much puked up pure alcohol.

“Porsche? Are you sick?” I heard Landon ask from the doorway. I quickly wiped my mouth and turned to him.

“Well good morning, Lambo.” I said with a weak smile.

“Daddy is really upset with you.” He said with this look that so resembled Ellie.

“Oh.....” I said, feeling ready to throw up again.

“Yeah, you're in trouble!” He teased. I smiled and told him to go watch TV. As soon as he left, I bent over and threw up more.

I tried my best to remember what I did last night but nothing came to mind as I hurled more. All I knew is that I'm almost certain I'm still a little drunk.....okay, maybe a lot. I heard footsteps and Landon saying good morning to them. I knew it was my dad, I just knew it. I was beyond glad that I had locked the door but when they knocked on it, my heart was pounding. Which made me throw up again, and then I started to cry. I don't know why, I just started sobbing. After a few minutes, I collected myself and threw up one more time before cracking the door open. Landon was still sitting on the couch, watching TV.

“Dad's outside. He said he was looking at your car.” he said, watching his cartoons.

“Oh.....did he say anything else?” I asked, keeping my distance from him. I didn't want anyone flipping out on me.

“Nope, just told me to keep watching TV.” he said, staring at the giant screen. He turned and looked at me, his eyes suddenly very wide. He got and ran over to me, hugging me tightly.

“What's wrong, bud?” I asked.

“You're sick!” he said, holding my hand.

“I'm fine, Landon.” I said. He shook his head and dragged me back to the bathroom and pushed me in front of the mirror. And of course, I looked like shit. My hair was dull and ratty, my skin was pale and dead, my eyes were dull and they looked bruised.

“See? You need to rest.” he said.

“Go back to your cartoons.” I said, ushering him back. I stood in the kitchen afterward, looking around for any sort of alcohol. I found a bottle of wine and sneaked it onto the back porch with me.

I uncorked it and took a long, full gulp. I didn't stop until I could feel that familiar warm, fuzzy feeling. I got my buzz but that didn't stop me from finishing it. I stumbled back inside, dumping it in the trash. I heard a baby fussing and someone shuffling upstairs. A few minutes later, Ellie came downstairs with baby Bentley. She looked at me and then continued on her way. Even though she had just glanced at me, I could feel the ice in her stare. I suddenly felt ashamed, for something I knew I did last night but I just couldn't figure out what it was. She fed Bentley and then placed him in the playpen, where Landon then went to play with him.

“We need to talk to you.” She said softly.

“What is he doing to my car?” I asked, looking at her. She flinched a little and looked at the front door.

“Wait here.” She said, heading outside.

I felt nausea set in again and my heart was pounding deep inside my chest. I thought my eyes were going to roll into my head again. I stumbled over to the sink and leaned over it, waiting for the vomit. When nothing came, I just stood there, alcohol still swimming in my system. I think I have a problem was one thing that came to mind, the other was I hope they don't find the alcohol in my car.