So Easy to Love

I am freaking out! I’m keeping two huge things form my husband… who doesn’t even know that we’re legally married! He doesn’t know that we’ve already had a child… and he doesn’t know that the one I’m carrying… isn’t his. And to add to all of this, my step daughter is getting thrown into a drift car… that she hasn’t been in for nearly two years! Yeah… this is bad, really, really bad.

Porsche left to go try and get the car ready before Tanner got out of the shower, leaving me to deal with him. I love the man so much, but I’m so nervous around him now. What if he snaps and everything comes back to him and we have that little tiff all over again? I can’t go through losing him again… from the same thing. Yeah, I’m a bit tense right now.

I needed to get something off my chest though. He needed to know. While he was still in the shower, I dug through the closet in search of a few photo albums. Once I found the ones I wanted, I spread them out on the bed, waiting for Tanner to come out. When he finally did, he sent me a smile and trudged over.

“I need to show you something,” I spoke softly while taking his hand since he hadn’t sat yet.

“But Porsche…” he protested, being bored of being home already.

“Please, it’s really important,” I told him.

The look in his eyes changed before he slowly sat next to me. Without saying anything, I handed him the first photo album. It was filled from the beginning of our relationship all the way to our marriage.

As his fingers flipped through the last pages, which contained our wedding pictures, his features wrinkled up. Please remember!

“I don’t… understand,” he pushed out softly.

“Tanner, we’re already married,” I told him gently, scooting over to be closer to him.

“I don’t remember,” he spoke.

“We got married six years ago, honey,” I countered.

He looked over at me, appearing to be shocked from my words. Damn it. This isn’t working! It worked for Porsche years back! Then again, Landon was kind of involved, but…

“That’s not the wedding I wanted for you though,” he added, making my heart nearly melt.

“But you won the Formula D championship in Vegas. You were so excited and you proposed to me and we got married that same night,” I explained to him.

“We had a Vegas wedding?” he shot at me.

“Tanner, that’s what you wanted,” I kind of giggled.

“You… deserved more than that,” he spoke softly.

I pouted at how cute he was and gently wrapped my arms around his middle. I do kind of wish we had a more proper wedding, but… he was just so excited about everything that night and his excitement made me excited. I would have done anything he wanted me to do and not question it.

“Our wedding doesn’t reflect how much I love you,” I spoke up, leaving a kiss on his cheek.

A small one came across his too as he looked down at the last picture. Porsche was in it wit the two of us. She was in the middle while Tanner and I kissed each side of her cheek. It was our first official family picture.

He closed it slowly before he put it back down, smiling up at me as he did so. But… I had another one. I turned the pages for him this time though, wanting him to take in everything that he was seeing. They were pictures throughout my pregnancy. Nothing too out of the norm. Before I turned the page to Landon’s first pictures, I felt like I needed to prepare him.

“So… there’s something else that you don’t remember,” I told him gently.

“This is a lot for today, Ellie,” he sighed while rubbing his forehead.

“I know, but… this isn’t our first child,” I kind of just… put it out there.

He stared back at me without blinking for a few long seconds. Ok, maybe I shouldn’t have told him…

“La…Landon?” he asked with his features wrinkled up so much.

“You remember?” I nearly squealed.

“Just… that name…” he replied.

“That’s our son’s name, sweetheart,” I smiled while taking his hand and turned the page with my other one to remind him what his son looked like.

“So it’s… you, me, Porsche, and… Landon?” he asked, trying to remember so hard. It was painful to watch this. He was trying to remember his son.

“And this one,” I smiled, placing my hand on my stomach.

A smile made its way across is face, flashing off those dimples and resting his hand next to mine. He looked over at me and left a soft kiss on my lips.

I wasn’t sure if he remembers everything just yet. But I feel a little better about everything. I just need to get around to that last little thing. It’ll come out… in time… or maybe not.

But I can’t let this ruin our day. He wants to go see his little girl drift. Of course, the mother in me is nervous as hell about her. I don’t need another case of amnesia. I really don’t know if I could handle it right now.