Dude's a Chick.

The car ride consisted of silence and...

"Yo girl waxed his legs and balls, so take that!" Tristan howled, finding himself hilarious. Everyone glared at him as I sighed.

"Nikki hates me, so does Maxine." I muttered, shifting my attention to the window.

"Don't sweat it." Skyler muttered.

"Kaleb is with Nikole now, probably fucking." I thought aloud, my eyes narrowing.

"You're just assuming." Damien added, with a roll of his eyes.

"Maxine is probably fucking Ace." I continued, then I was slapped. The car swerved and with a jolt, Tristan straightened it out.

"You just got bitch slapped, bitch!" Tristan continued to laugh his obnoxious high pitched laugh. I grabbed his hair and yanked, causing the car to swerve again.

"Yo, do this another time!" Jacen demanded, when Zach slapped us both.

"They deserved it. Idiots." Zach explained after receiving a 'what the fuck' look from Jacen.

"So this was interesting." Skyler abruptly spoke. "Luke has no hair aside from the ones on his head, his balls are smoother than a babies bottom. I thought I had a chance with Pamela. Maxine's boyfriend tried raping Luke in the bathroom, thinking Luke was a girl named Aly. Nikole is going to fuck Kaleb, and people are getting bitch slapped on the ride home and you guys act like that's the main problem?"

"Skyler." I sighed. "Just, shut up."

"Why don't we all just have a quiet ride home?" Jacen suggested.

"Yeah, let's all crash at Kaleb's." Damien added, and we all nodded.

"Luke can climb his skinny ass up the pole to his room, since his window's always open." Zach chuckled.

"Skinny ass?" I repeated.

"Well that and because we all know girls work the poles better." Zach mused, evilly grinning at me.

"SHUT UP!" Jacen screamed. "I was about to have the best three some of my life! But thanks to Luke almost getting his ass violated in the bathroom, my dick has to suffer! So everyone, shut the hell up."

"Just go in the bathroom and rub it out." Tristan nonchalantly advised.

"We all know Tristan's a virgin." Zach teased.

"Like rubbing it out is the same thing as a three some." Jacen rolled his eyes.

"Idiot." I used my Napoleon Dynamite voice, and shook my head.

"Repeat, virgin. End repeat." Zach continued.

"Shut up." Tristan spat, intensely staring at the road now.

"Awe, that's too cute." Zach leaned forward and pinched Tristan's cheek. Tristan's hand flew back and whacked Zach in the nose.

"Mother fucker." Zach clenched his nose. "Damn it, I think it broke."

"By a bitch slap?" Tristan chuckled, sounding very vindictive.

"It wont stop fucking bleeding." Zach whined. "It hurts so damn bad."

"Where's the nearest hospital?" Jacen asked and we all looked around.

"Kaleb knows the streets, how the fuck are we even going to get home?" I inquired, and everyone got quiet.

"Shit." We all said in unison.

~*~

Magically we make it to a hospital. Tristan let us out with Zach, and we lead him inside. Tons of people were filed in and we had to fill out paperwork. Great. Tristan came back inside, huffing and puffing.

"I saw some big dude, in the shadows, my white ass ran as fast as I could." Tristan explained after receiving confused expressions. "I thought I was going to get ass raped, like Luke."

"Almost!" I corrected, and Jacen smacked Tristan behind the head.

"Look what happened to Zach, I wouldn't touch me. In fear of my lethal reactions." Tristan warned.

"I could die tonight, and you're all joking about it." Zach hissed.

"Like that's the least of our worries. I think Luke's asshole feared more than you dying." Tristan chuckled, causing us all to laugh. Zach even involuntarily laughed at that.

"That would've been funny though, him pull your pants down with you on the sink and bam nut sack!" Zach joined, causing me to laugh.

"Wait..." I paused. "That's fucked up."

"Or you bent over, him insert in butt hole, and then reach around, bam penis." Jacen mused, everyone but me laughed even harder.

"Fuck you guys." I stood up and left. I walked across the parking lot and lit up a cig. Immature idiots, I hope they have to give Zach some sort of shot. That would serve him right, considering he HATES needles. I evilly grinned at my thoughts. A shot in Zach's ass would be the best karma ever. I laughed so hard, that is till my phone went off...