Rush
Wednesday Afternoon
Lunch that day was easy. Lettuce and cucumber salad, hold anything with fats, carbs, or calories. It was holding me off well, until I got home.
My stomach was rumbling like crazy when I was working through homework. I didn't really bother to do it all, just enough to keep me off my parents radar. I put my pencil down and went to go brush my teeth. Maybe I could trick my body into thinking that I didn't need food right now.
It didn't work. My stomach kept growling and growling, demanding food. And lots of it.
I wanted to stuff my face. I wanted cake, pie, mozzarella sticks, pizza, Chinese, candy, lasagna, anything I could get my hands on. But no, I was strong and I would stay that way.
I popped four squares of sugar-free gum into my mouth and broke their hard, candied shells with my teeth. No, that wasn't working, either.
I started to panic. I was getting to the point where I was hungry and nothing was working. I went into the bathroom and stripped down to my bra and underwear.
I sat there and admired the way my hip bones jutted out and my collar bone made a bowl shape in my skin. I poked at my ribs and counted them eight times. Up one side, down the other. Up one side, down the other. Up one side, down the other.
I still had one week exactly to drop another 8 and a half pounds. I wanted 100.00, and I would get there if it was the last thing I would do.
But 100.00 was only goal one. Goal two would come a week after goal one. Goal two had a name, and it was getting a little dangerous.
Goal two was called 095.00.
At 095.00, I would be a paperweight. Small and thin and light, but not small, thin, and light enough. I had to get a little lower than that.
And that is goal number three.
And it's name is 0.90.00 pounds.
At 0.90.00 pounds, I would be a feather. I would soar, and I would be happy. Thin enough to live, but not thin enough to be beautiful.
Beauty, and goal number four, the final goal, was named 085.00. That would be beauty. That would be happiness.
And yes, it would also be dangerous.
My stomach was rumbling like crazy when I was working through homework. I didn't really bother to do it all, just enough to keep me off my parents radar. I put my pencil down and went to go brush my teeth. Maybe I could trick my body into thinking that I didn't need food right now.
It didn't work. My stomach kept growling and growling, demanding food. And lots of it.
I wanted to stuff my face. I wanted cake, pie, mozzarella sticks, pizza, Chinese, candy, lasagna, anything I could get my hands on. But no, I was strong and I would stay that way.
I popped four squares of sugar-free gum into my mouth and broke their hard, candied shells with my teeth. No, that wasn't working, either.
I started to panic. I was getting to the point where I was hungry and nothing was working. I went into the bathroom and stripped down to my bra and underwear.
I sat there and admired the way my hip bones jutted out and my collar bone made a bowl shape in my skin. I poked at my ribs and counted them eight times. Up one side, down the other. Up one side, down the other. Up one side, down the other.
I still had one week exactly to drop another 8 and a half pounds. I wanted 100.00, and I would get there if it was the last thing I would do.
But 100.00 was only goal one. Goal two would come a week after goal one. Goal two had a name, and it was getting a little dangerous.
Goal two was called 095.00.
At 095.00, I would be a paperweight. Small and thin and light, but not small, thin, and light enough. I had to get a little lower than that.
And that is goal number three.
And it's name is 0.90.00 pounds.
At 0.90.00 pounds, I would be a feather. I would soar, and I would be happy. Thin enough to live, but not thin enough to be beautiful.
Beauty, and goal number four, the final goal, was named 085.00. That would be beauty. That would be happiness.
And yes, it would also be dangerous.
♠ ♠ ♠
I know this is a short chapter, so I might update another one today if you guys ask for it :3 Let me know if you want me to update another chapter tonight!