Pride

Monday comes too soon and it feels like the first day of school all over again. I’m sore from snowboarding all weekend and tired from staying up too late. The sun isn’t as bright and the morning is filled with the sounds of traffic. Grumbling, I get out of bed to change into my uniform. I don’t even bother eating breakfast before walking out the door.

Today I leave for school without Kai. I have a feeling even if I did go over, the boy wouldn’t talk to me. Not that I care. It’s his own fault that I’m angry with him and our friendship is messed up right now. He should try doing something about it, the useless bastard.

“Where’s Kai?” Mindy asks the moment I step into class. She looks around me, expecting to see him somewhere but doesn’t. Frowning, she looks over to me and realizes that I moved from my seat to hers, which is across from mine. It isn’t that big of a distance between Kai and I, but it will be enough.

Mindy huffs and takes my old seat. “Now you’re just being childish.”

“Like hell I am! It’s his fault. Lecture him.”

Mindy rolls her eyes and with a sigh she turns to face the front. Just a few minutes later, Kai arrives. I turn away to glare across the room. My body tenses more and more the closer he gets until finally I feel as stiff as a board. Kai actually stops beside me, I wasn’t expecting it.

“I really am s-sorry about not coming up to the c-cabin but…if it’s ok…I c-can go this weekend.” Kai squirms under the intense gaze I send his way. My heart is practically caving in on itself and I don’t know why. The air is tense and I can practically see Kai’s courage cracking under my gaze. His cheeks are flushing with embarrassment and he’s beginning to shake.

“Whatever,” I huff, turning away once again because honestly…I don’t know how to answer. I want him to come but at the same time I don’t. He’s annoying but still my best friend…at least I think he is. Who knows, maybe Kai’s new best friend is Garrett. I would ask but my pride is telling me to let Kai be the one to finally crack and come back begging for forgiveness.

First period finally ends and as I’m walking to second, a rather familiar presence appears behind me. I throw a glance over my shoulder to see Kai shyly walking just a few inches behind me. His head is bowed and I feel this twinge in my chest. He looks like he really regrets pissing me off but knowing him, he doesn’t have the guts to do anything but say I’m sorry over and over until I feel like punching him. Sighing, I stop and turn to face him. He doesn’t expect my sudden halt and runs into me.

“Damn it, watch where you’re going dumbass!” I howl, rubbing my nose, which he had managed to bump with his chest after running into me. Frowning, he bows his head once again and mumbles an apology like he always does.

There’s an unbelievable silence between us now. I never thought the day would come when neither of us knew what to say to the other. I never thought things would be so…tense and awkward between us. I actually feel myself squirming just as uncomfortably as Kai is. It seems that even the people around us are noticing the tension because they stare as they pass.

I’m sure they’re as shocked as I am. Kai and I are a set, a pair. If someone is talking about one of us, they talk about the other. We do everything together and for us to suddenly…suddenly not know how to act around the other is weird.

Sighing, I rub the back of my neck. “If you cancel on me this time…I won’t forgive you.”

Kai explodes like a super nova. I have no time to react. His arms are around me, squeezing me to his chest before I had the time to holler at him. I am somewhat thankful that my face is implanted in his chest because if it weren’t he’d notice the heat in my cheeks. Sighing, Kai speaks softly, “I promise…I won’t cancel this time.”

“Ok…did you have to hug me to tell me that?” My voice is incredibly muffled from speaking into his shirt. The heat of my breath warms up his chest until the heat is almost unbearable for even me. I’m praying that Kai can’t feel how fast my heart is beating, I don’t even know why it is beating so quickly.

Finally, Kai pulls away and allows me to breathe normally. Flushing, Kai smiles and answers, “I just…thought if I didn’t t-things wouldn’t get better.”

“I just think you wanted to hug me. Queer.”

Kai huffs and stomps ahead of me, leaving me smirking. It feels good to know that Kai and I are speaking on normal terms again. I really can’t wait for the weekend. Kai and I can finally hang out like we used to. It’ll be the two of us, like it’s supposed to be. The thought makes me smile and I cover my hand with my mouth in hopes that no one will notice.

“Shiloh, are you coming?” Kai asks after he realizes I wasn’t following him. Jerking out of my thoughts, I turn to Kai and nod, quickly following after him.

The rest of the day isn’t as tense as this morning. There’s still this nagging sensation in the air. It’s as if someone or something is continuously reminding me of the fact that Kai still hasn’t talked to me about anything. He hasn’t mentioned anything about his mother. Then again, she may not have informed him about the information she leaked to me.

This is all ok though because this weekend Kai will have no where to run to, no where to hide. If I ask him, he will have to tell me. Ok, so he won’t. He could always just go mute for the weekend and not speak to me but the fact is I could learn what’s going on finally. I already had a reason to look forward to the weekend, now I have even more.

This is going to be a long week.