Pride

Waking up the next morning to Kai coiled around me like a snake wasn’t something I expected. My cheeks burn with embarrassment at the realization of how this could look if someone walked in. Kai has his face snuggled into the back of my neck with both arms around my waist, one up my shirt and placed gently on my chest while the other is just above the waist line of my boxers. One of his legs is thrown over my waist while the other is tangled between my own. This is…so embarrassing. Does he have no shame!?

Grumbling angrily, I try to dislodge myself from his grasp without waking him. This task seems harder than I expected. Each time I move, he groans angrily behind me before tightening his hold on me. Do I look like a teddy bear to him? Damn it all!

I huff and decide the hell with it. I don’t care if I wake him up.

Finally, I tear myself from his grasp, rolling off the side of the bed as I do so. Groaning, I sit up to see Kai is now awake and staring at me. Suddenly, his cheeks turn bright red as do mine as I realize what had happened last night.

Fuck. I mean…really, fuck. I acted like a selfish, jealous teenage girl! Could I have gotten anymore annoying? Not only that but we…we…k-k-k…k-kissed! Holy hell, I kissed Kai! No, we kissed multiple times. Multiple times! And…and I told him to break up with Garrett, which is basically saying “break up with him because we’re going out.” That means we’re dating!

I’m dating a guy! What…how…? What the hell is wrong with me!

“Morning, Shiloh,” Kai finally manages to say through a smile so large that it makes my cheeks hurt.

“The morning would have been better if a certain someone hadn’t decided to use me as their personal teddy bear,” I growl, pushing myself to my feet. The bed squeaks from behind me and I can only assume that it’s from Kai getting up. My assumption is proved correct when I feel a pair of lips press themselves against my cheek, which heat up immediately.

Why the hell am I blushing so much? What the fuck is my problem? I must be sick, that has to be it.

“Sorry,” Kai whispers, his breath scorching my skin. “I was j-just really h-happy.”

Biting my lip, I curse every fiber of my being for acting the way it is. Shit, why am I acting like this anyway? Kai has always been a very touchy, feely person and it’s never bothered me as much before as it has been lately. Is it because I really do…like him? Ugh, just thinking about it makes my stomach squirm. I still can’t believe I’ve agreed to this. What was I thinking?

“Yeah, whatever,” I huff, shoving past Kai to head towards the bathroom.

After taking a quick shower, I allow Kai access to the restroom. In the living room I find Shania sitting on the couch watching TV. Since its Friday my parents are at work and I guess you could say I’m “baby sitting.” But really, Shania is already 11 and is old enough to do everything for herself so it’s more like I’m just here in case something should happen.

“G’morning,” Shania yawns, leaning her head back on the couch to smile sweetly at me. I wave towards her and enter the kitchen.

“Did you have breakfast yet?” I ask, my voice a bit hoarse from just waking up.

“Nope!” Shania says, popping the p. I sigh, that means I’m going to have to make breakfast for three…or I could just make it for two and make Kai feel bad. Just thinking about his depressed look makes me snicker. He’s so cute when he pouts. Ignore that thought…

I saunter about the kitchen, grabbing the eggs and some bread for toast. Just as I’m calling Shania to come in for breakfast, Kai walks into the kitchen with nothing but a pair of PJ pants on and a towel around his shoulders. I turn away fast, grabbing the last of the toast before sitting at the table across from Shania. She giggles when Kai sits beside me.

“Morning, Kai!” Shania says around a soft squeal. “I’m glad you’re staying with us for Christmas.”

“M-me t-too,” Kai mumbles and beneath the table I feel his fingers grasp my wrist. Slowly, they crawl down my hand and intertwine themselves with my fingers. My arm tingles.

Silently, the three of us eat our breakfast. When Shania is finished, she tosses her dishes into the sink and returns to the living room to watch whatever show she was previously watching. Kai waits for me to finish eating before following me back to my room where I turn on the Xbox.

“Um…I n-need to call Garrett,” Kai mumbles shyly. I shrug because right now I don’t feel angry about Kai calling him. Actually, I’m no where near angry. I’m happy, really. It probably makes me a bad person that I’m so happy that he’s breaking up with Garrett. I’m going to have a reservation in hell, I just know it.

As Kai is outside breaking it off with Garrett, I’m left sitting here with my thoughts, which is never a good thing. It’s not that I mean to but every time I’m alone I manage to think of such idiotic things that lead to a huge mess. Like right now, I can’t stop thinking about how strange this is…to be dating Kai. We’ve been best friends our entire life so how did we end up like this? Am I even ok with this?

My brain tells me no but something else is screaming yes. I was the one who told Kai that I didn’t want him to have anything to do with Garrett. I was the one who acted like a jealous teenage girl. So why am I the one questioning it now? It must be because I never imagined this would happen. We’re guys. If Kai were a girl, I could see us ending up together. It isn’t unusual for best friends that are male and female to start dating.

But for Kai and I to date…it’s just weird. Sure, he’s a huge cry baby and a useless bastard so no one but me can really stand him and I have a bad attitude and he’s the only one who can handle me…but still…shouldn’t we be able to find ourselves some type of love interest? Honestly, we can’t be so bad that we have to stay together no matter what.

I bite my lip. Shit, I’m really thinking too much about this. It shouldn’t matter that Kai and I are…dating. I’ve said this before, Kai and I are just meant to be together. We just kind of fit. Besides, Kai is perfectly ok with keeping us a secret from others. But for how long? I don’t know how long it’ll take for me to actually show him any type of affection in public.

Shit. It’s hard enough showing affection when we’re alone. Every time he goes to kiss me or hold my hand I feel like backing away, not because I’m disgusted! I’m just not…used to it. I’m not mentally prepared or some shit.

“Shiloh, you ok?” An all too familiar voice asks from somewhere beside me. I jump, suddenly realizing that I’ve been staring at the TV screen for over 15 minutes without doing anything. Kai is now sitting beside me, staring at me.

I bite the inside of my cheek before replying, “Yeah, fine…so…what’d Garrett say?”

“He said h-he understands,” Kai answers, bringing his legs up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. Resting his head against his knees, he smiles. “He’s fine w-with it. Actually, he s-said he e-expected it to h-happen eventually.”

What? That bastard. Now he’s starting to say that Kai and I looked like a couple before too? I don’t understand people and their logic. I don’t think I ever will.