Pride

But I’m going to have to.

I have to tell him at least that because it’s true. I do like Kai. He’s my best friend and always has been and hopefully always will be. But he’s more than just my best friend. He’s my boyfriend. Maybe I’m not fully ok with that thought but one day I will be. I’ll have to be.

I’m going to have to get over it and just suck it up, be a man! I’ll tell him the truth and I’m sure I won’t feel as guilty. At least Kai will know that I do indeed feel something for him. Maybe it isn’t love but…it’s something and that’s good enough for now, right?

I take in a deep breath and start off in a sprint. I have to meet up with Kai on his way to school. If I don’t, I may change my mind. I can’t do that. I have to tell Kai. Mindy used to talk to me about her boyfriends all the time, although I always asked, more like ordered her not to. She used to tell me how annoying it was when they wouldn’t “tell her how they felt.” I used to think it was just a girl thing.

Guess I was wrong.

It really is annoying in any relationship when someone keeps their feelings to themselves. If they don’t admit to the other party how they feel then everything can get messed up so fast and it may never get fixed. It’s a down side to every relationship but at the same time, it’s what makes them exciting.

You have to open up to them and hope they don’t break your heart in two. If they do, learn from it. If they don’t, then that’s great.

I don’t know how I managed to catch up to Kai. He left five to ten minutes earlier than me but I guess I must have been booking it. I hadn’t realized that I started to sweat or heave for air. Kai, however, notices me immediately and with a dumbfounded expression, asks, “Shiloh…a-are you ok?”

I ignore the few people walking around us, staring. I can’t let them bother me so I don’t. I grab Kai by the collar of his shirt and pull him down to crash our lips together. We hiss from the contact of our teeth but when I run my tongue over the seam of his lips, Kai forgets about that pain. He lets me in and instead of battling for dominance, our tongues just dance together.

When we pull apart I finally say, “I like you Kai.”

Kai’s face lights up like a Christmas tree. His face becomes so red that I’m starting to wonder if he’s ok. But even with that idiotic blush on his face, he smiles from ear to ear and pulls me into his chest. I grunt, not expecting the sudden action and try to pull away from his tight grip but Kai won’t let go.

“Man, let go! We’re in public,” I hiss. Why does that even matter? I just made out with him in public! I really do have problems.

“S-Sorry,” Kai whispers into my ear. “You j-just never actually s-said it…I’m so happy.”

Grumbling, I try pushing Kai away. Too many people are staring. Just because I said it shouldn’t bother me doesn’t mean it doesn’t. I still haven’t gotten used to it. Thankfully, Kai lets go of me and I can finally breathe.

“Yeah, whatever…don’t let it get to your head because unlike you I’m not going to say it every twenty seconds!” I shout, informing Kai that this isn’t happening often. I can’t stand this…lovey-doveyness or however you would explain it. It’s too much for me.

Kai smiles. “I figured but…y-you aren’t mad a-anymore, right?”

“I was never mad. You just assumed I was,” I reply, turning away from Kai and continuing the path to school. Kai follows behind me. “I just didn’t like you telling me all the time because…well…I never said anything back. It made me feel bad.”

Kai frowns. “I d-didn’t mean to-”

“I know, I know. Drop it already, we’re almost to school.”

Kai pouts, probably because he wanted me to continue to embarrass myself but does as I say. The two of us make it to school and as we walk through the hall Kai purposelessly brushes his hand against mine. For a second, I grab his and hold it in my own but let go after only a few seconds. He still smiles because of the action.

“Hey you two!” Mindy calls, skipping to catch up with his. She smiles and wraps her arms around both mine and Kai’s. “Looks like you two had a fun weekend.”

Kai flushes because Mindy is staring at the red mark that’s still on his neck. He tried hiding it but it can be seen when close up. I roll my eyes and huff, “Shut up Mindy.”

“You know, it’d be nice if I could watch.”

“You sick freak!”

“I d-don’t like t-that idea.”

Mindy cackles evilly because that’s what she is. Evil. All women are evil but I think Mindy might have been injected with a larger amount. I wonder about her sometimes…

“I think it’s a great idea! After all, I should get something for listening to you two cry over each other.”

“We don’t cry!” I screech, pulling my arm from Mindy’s so I can cross them angrily over my chest. This girl is asking for it!

Mindy rolls her eyes and walks into the classroom, continuing to tease Kai and I. While Kai flushes I try explaining to Mindy that she’s a bitch and should shut her mouth. She doesn’t like what I have to say and decides it’ll be funny to shove a handful of papers down my throat.

I hate her. I really do.