Pride

“What’s this?” I ask the shy child squirming in discomfort before me. Said child bites mercilessly at a trembling bottom lip and says nothing. I hold up the wrapped box and shake it. There’s something inside.

“H-Happy two months,” whispers Kai.

“You’re seriously giving me a present for our two month? You’re keeping track? What a fag.” Although I snort it doesn’t stop me from ripping the box open in curiosity. I don’t care what the present is for even if I tease Kai about it. A present is a present. I’ll accept it!

It’s nothing extravagant. It’s just a year long WoW pass, which is a present Kai could never go wrong with. I smirk…until I realize that I haven’t gotten Kai anything. Of course I didn’t. Why would I? It’s only been two months. Why would we celebrate?

“Is there a reason we’re celebrating our two month? I mean…it’s just two months.” I wasn’t sure how else to explain it. I just can’t see how two months deserves a present.

Kai flushes and says while twiddling his thumbs, “I just…n-never thought I’d e-ever get this chance and if I d-did it wouldn’t last nearly t-this long so…I just kind of t-thought it’d be nice.”

Kai’s statement gets himself an eye roll. He’s so…under confident. Too much confidence is bad but Kai…he doesn’t have any! What a fucking loser. He’s worse than a damn girl.

“I didn’t get you anything.”

“That’s ok.” Kai shrugs but I know some way, somehow he’s going to get something for our “two month” out of me. I just don’t know what yet. Knowing that perv he’ll want to do something dirty. Not that I’m objecting.

Kai’s hot breath fans across my skin as he buries his face in my neck. One of his arms wraps itself around my own. He’s kissing my neck one time after another making a blush form on my face. I’m tempted to push him off…but I don’t. I never have no matter how much I was tempted to. Why?

I…don’t really know. Because it feels nice.

The more Kai cuddles into me the more embarrassed I feel. During the beginning it was more of a discomfort. I wasn’t used to the feel of him holding me or kissing me. Now I’ve become accustomed to it and that discomfort disappeared only to be replaced with a strange type of embarrassment. I know it’s from my pride telling me that this isn’t something I should be doing but…

These feelings welling up inside my stomach are growing every second, every minute, every day and I can’t stop them. I can look at Kai and it’ll make my heart escalate. When he grazes against me I tingle a bit, not my skin but my chest. I don’t know if it’s just from knowing we’re together or because I know that I drive Kai just as crazy as he does me.

It’s weird and I’ll never ever tell Kai about these fucked up feelings. He doesn’t need to know. I can just imagine that shit eating grin on his face making him look like more of an idiot than he already is and I rather not have him bug the hell out of me about it…because he definitely would.

Something pinches me.

Glancing to my side, Kai attempts to smirk innocently and fails miserably. I glare. “Problem?”

“You spaced out,” he says shyly. “What w-were you thinking about?”

“None of your business!” I shout and finally kick Kai away. The boy tumbles off the bed and once on the ground I jam my foot into his gut like I always do because I can. Kai yelps and grabs my ankle but I continue to grind my foot into him. “Stop being so damn picky! Lie there and rot!”

“T-That’s so m-mean.” Kai pouts and manages to roll away from my wild appendage. Once out of my range Kai sits up with his hands gripping his ankles. “I t-think you need anger management.”

“Fuck you! I’m perfect.”

Kai doesn’t disagree. If he did I would have ripped out his organs and used them to hang him from the balcony. He probably knows that and it’s probably why he didn’t say anything. Good, I got this bitch trained.

Kai returns to my side once he feels I won’t attack him again. He crawls behind me, places a leg on either side of me and wraps his arms around my waist. My back is now pressed against his chest. Maybe I would have done something if I wasn’t engulfed in my video game.

Two months. Whoa. It doesn’t feel like it’s been that long. To be honest it’s only felt like a week or two, but it’s true. It’s already near the end of February. Damn! I wonder how Kai really feels about this…relationship of ours. He has to be annoyed with me. Two months and I’ve only told him I like you once. I don’t really know why that matters but it does to a lot of people. And ever since that first hand job at his place we haven’t done anything.

Sure we’ve made out and done some simple touching but we’ve never went farther than that. Why? Because I always stop it before we can. I find some type of excuse to pull away before Kai has time to react. I know if he manages to get his hand down my pants I’ll be done for. That boy is talented let me tell you. It kind of pisses me off.

Our parents still don’t know and neither does the school. Hopefully it stays that way. I haven’t even thought of letting anyone else know. It’s bad enough Mindy, Garrett and Josh know. That’s three more than I wanted to know.

Not only have Kai and I been together for two months but we’re also incredibly close to graduating, yet another thing that’s incredibly shocking. I’m not shocked I’m graduating because I’m a bad ass like that and can do whatever the hell I want but Kai…he’s such a dumb ass. I will never understand how people call him a genius. He’s fucking retarded.

I don’t know how he’s going to survive the real world.

Behind me Kai is humming softly with his chin on my shoulder. His eyes are trained on the TV so he doesn’t notice me staring glancing at him.

Graduation is almost here and Kai and I haven’t talked about it yet. I have always told Kai that college is out of the question for me. It’s hard enough getting through high school so let’s not even consider college. Books and shit just aren’t my style but Kai…everyone knows he’s going.

WVU. It’s far away…like really, really far away. He can’t commute, obviously. Kai will have to move. He’ll have to leave me to go to some crazy school full of even crazier people. They’re going to want to drink, to party and have a blast and Kai…well he isn’t too kind with peer pressure.

I’ve tried talking to him about it but I can’t think about what to say. Should I ask if he’d like to get an apartment together? It’d be easier that way with two people paying and he won’t have to be in the dorms, stuck with people he doesn’t know. But then I think…maybe he doesn’t want that?

Kai could be moving for a reason. I tell myself that isn’t it, that there’s no way Kai wants to leave me behind. I could be wrong. He could actually just be messing with me and if he is the little shit will regret ever being born.

I shake my head. There’s no use thinking like that. It won’t help.