Pride

Kai P.O.V

When did I fall in love with Shiloh? Honestly I can longer remember a time when I wasn’t infatuated with the boy. As I look back I realize that my whole life, whether I admitted it to myself or not, I have had more than friendly feelings for him and it’s so sickeningly obvious that it’s ridiculous.

When we were little Shiloh always stood up for me, he still does. I was so small and weak when we were younger. I got picked on a lot but Shiloh…he was always right there. He was ready to protect me and protect me he did.

No bully went unharmed. When someone called me a name or made me cry they were met with Shiloh’s wrath and it was never pretty. Even back then he had a potty mouth and an incredibly stubborn nature. I remember the first time Shiloh got into a fist fight with someone because of me. It was in elementary school, sometime during third grade.

My chest feels funny. My heart’s beating really fast. My hands are starting to sweat and though I keep whipping them off on my shorts they just won’t stop. I…I don’t know what to get. They’re all so pretty but at the same time not pretty enough because Shi…Shi is way prettier.

He’s like…the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen! And as I think this I come across some roses. Mama loves roses. She says they are a flower of beauty and if…if that’s what they are then I should get some of them for Shiloh right? I think he would like them a lot…

“Getting some flowers for someone special?” A man asks from behind me. Jumping I look over my shoulder to find the shop manager smiling down at me. “Roses huh?”

I nod and quickly hold out the five dollars mama gave me for lunch today. I didn’t eat just so I could buy these flowers for Shiloh. “S-Sir…h-how many c-can I get f-for this much? Mama g-gave me it for l-lunch but I needed t-to buy m-my friends flowers cuz t-they’re sick.”

“Five dollars, well that can get you a lot! A whole dozen!” He says happily and takes my mama’s money. He gives me the flowers and lets me on my way. I’m grinning from ear to ear on the way home.

I hope Shiloh likes them!

Someone’s whistling catches my attention and that sound makes my skin crawl. I know who it is and I really don’t want to see him so I speed up my pace. I hear his footsteps behind mine go quicker but I can hardly see over the bundle of flowers in my arms. I trip and fall flat onto my face but thankfully I keep the flowers from hitting the ground.

It doesn’t matter though because he takes them from me the moment he catches up to me.

“C-Charlie!” I cry out and get onto my knee’s which are now scratched from the pavement along with my nose and hand. Charlie, the biggest bully ever, holds the flowers up over his head with an evil grin. “P-Please g-give those back.”

“Why? Did you get them for that butt licker of a friend because he’s sick? You’re like a bunch of girls! It’s gross,” Charlie cackles and just like that throws the flowers to the ground to stomp on. I reach for them only to have Charlie shoving his feet into my fingers.

I yelp and retract my fingers. The flowers are now ruined, squished and most of them missing their petals. Charlie ruined them. He ruins everything. Once he has finished teasing me he leaves. I try to put the flowers back together on the way home but they are leaning and no longer as pretty as they once were. Shiloh can’t see them. I won’t let him!

But that doesn’t go as planned because when I get to our floor Shiloh has just come outside the door. He looks at me and I at him. The moment he sees my puffy, watery eyes and bleeding skin he scowls and asks angrily in his sickly voice, “Who the hell did that? Was it Charlie?”

I don’t answer.

Shiloh stomps angrily over to me. Before he says another word I hand the flowers to him and cry, “I-I wanted t-to give you these a-as a get better s-soon gift. They w-were so pretty and y-you’re so pretty S-Shi so I g-got them but-but Charlie h-he stepped all o-over them. I’m s-s-sorry!”

Shiloh lights up bright red, a lot like the tree on Christmas Day. Although the flowers are ugly and ruined Shiloh takes them and holds them to his chest like they were still beautiful and grumbles, “It doesn’t matter if they don’t look good anymore because you still got them Kai. Thanks…”

The next day Shiloh, though he was still sick, comes to school with me. I tried my hardest in the morning to keep him home but he refused. Now here we are at recess and Shiloh is fuming. Charlie is on the ground crying, clutching his bleeding nose.

Shiloh’s face is red with anger and hands clenched into white fists, which were just used to throw Charlie for a loop. His voice is hoarse from being sick and from shouting but that doesn’t stop him from telling Charlie, “Don’t you dare touch my Kai! If you ever hurt him or make him cry again I’ll beat you up so bad you’ll never walk again!”

And that wasn’t the first time Shiloh stood up for me or the last. There were many others. He never let anyone hurt me and maybe that’s why I fell in love with him…I mean, how couldn’t I? He was always by my side, always helping me, always protecting me and always taking care of me.

Now I want to be the one always at his side, always helping him, always protecting him and always taking care of him. I want to spoil him. I want to hold him. I want to kiss him. I want to make him happy and to live his life with endless laughter and smiles.

I always thought like that. I always thought about making Shiloh happy so I guess I really have always been in love with Shiloh. It’s kind of pathetic but I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else. I wouldn’t want to live my whole life with anyone else.

“Is there a reason you aren’t listening to me?” The same boy I’ve been day dreaming about asks around a growl. He looks away from his game to set a glare on me. A glare that only makes my heart race. I don’t care why he’s looking at me as long as he is.

I’m incredibly selfish even if I don’t show it because all I want is his attention, love and affection. I want it all. I want him to pay attention to nothing but me for all eternity. I want to monopolize him and maybe that is incredibly wrong but it’s true.

“S-Sorry…I w-was just thinking,” I say to him around hopefully an apologetic smile. He scoffs at that smile but I see the slight upward twitch of his lips.

“Thinking? Don’t lie to yourself dumb ass. You aren’t capable of any kind of thought process.” Ah typical Shiloh, so prideful, stubborn and rude but that’s just the way I like him…or rather love him.

Smiling, I move from Shiloh’s bed to his side. I love the way he lets me lean onto him to rest my head on his shoulder. The warmth radiating from his body to mine makes my entire body tingle with excitement. I never thought I’d achieve this relationship with him but now that I have it I can’t imagine ever going without it.

“I love you,” I say to him around a love struck sigh.

I look up to watch the way his cheeks flush at my confession. Groaning, Shiloh replies, “I like you.”

And that’s enough for me because if he has come to like me in this way it means he can come to love me as well. I’ll do whatever it takes to make him say I love you too.