Pride

Shit. Shit.

What am I gonna do about this? These bruises are screaming for attention. Mindy, I know, will throw one question after another at me. Kai, being the pussy that he is, will blame himself and go on about how he’s sorry and that it’s his fault blah, blah blah. And I don’t want to even think about what mom is going to do.

A shiver runs down my spine.

Damn. Just this morning she told me to be careful. It’s not like I tried to get into trouble. That means she won’t be mad…right? Pfft, bullshit. She’ll be mad either way. She’ll be all like you were probably asking for it! Stop getting into fights and be more careful and all that wonderful motherly love.

I groan at the sound of the bell. I can’t exactly skip the rest of my day just because I don’t want Kai to see me. The nurse once again tries to get some answers out of me but I wave her off and head off to class. As expected people stare at me in the halls. No one bothers to ask what happened. I bet most of them have a pretty damn good guess.

“S-Shiloh…” Kai reaches out for my face. I lean away. Why would he want to touch my bruised face? It fucking hurts. Touching it won’t help! “W-What happened?”

“Nothing.” Why do I even bother lying? Obviously something happened.

The boy has every right to frown. He’s concerned about me and to be honest it makes my insides curl. To know that someone cares so much…no one can say they don’t want that. In hopes to make him feel better I lean over and press a quick peck to his cheeks. Said cheeks brighten considerably in color.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m fine.” I sit at his side, smirk at the nod he sends my way then turns to the front of the room. Throughout the rest of the day Kai sticks to me like glue…not that he doesn’t do that normally. However today he seems to be on edge, looking over both our shoulders every couple seconds for Ed and his goons.

Mindy did interrogate me, or rather tried to, but I refused to answer her either. It’s not like telling them what happened will change anything. What happened, happened. Now I just know to be more careful and not be caught alone in the halls.

Speaking of halls, Kai, Mindy and I are heading for our last period of the day when the intercom comes on. Our school counselor Mr. Watson comes on asking for me to go to his office. I already know what it’s for. He’s been calling seniors to his office this entire month to talk about college or our plans after school.

I head for his office and the moment I step in he asks me, “What happened Mr. Fenderson?”

“It’s nothing so what do you want to talk about Mr. Watson?” I take a seat in the comfy chairs. They’re so plush and shit. I want one.

“I’m sure you know that I have been calling students in to talk about their plans after graduation. I heard from Kai that he has got accepted into West Virginia University-”

Whatever more Mr. Watson has to say doesn’t reach me. The only thing I can hear is the constant ringing of Kai got accepted. He…what?

There it is again, that damned tugging in my chest. I know what it’s from though I would never admit it. Sure I knew the bastard would get accepted but to be honest we haven’t talked about it. Ok so the subject has been brought up however Kai never verbally said he was accepted.

I assumed he was but…but damn it pisses me off to hear it out loud. He really is leaving. What the hell are we going to do? A long distance relationship? Kai wouldn’t cheat, I know this. I trust him. It’s the other kids I don’t trust.

He’s going to meet new people, make new friends. Some of those friends will pressure him. Kai doesn’t do well when pressured. I should try my best to listen to what he says but I know if anything were to happen I’d go ape shit and it’s not like we’d be able to talk about it in person.

So what? This relationship was for nothing? Was it just a few months of fun for him, to see if he could really get with me or not? No. I know that isn’t the case. Fuck it still bothers me though.

“Mr. Fenderson?”

Mr. Watson’s voice brings me back to reality. Shaking my head I reply, “I uh…I’m not going to college. I plan to go straight to the work force. College isn’t my thing.”

And of course Mr. Watson tries to talk me out of my plan but in the end he sends me back to class unsuccessful. I know that I’ve been going on and on about Kai moving away but it really is bugging me. He hasn’t said anything about it either, which makes it worse.

Does he plan on staying quiet about it until graduation? If so he is in for a rude awakening. He is going to tell me his brilliant plan sooner or later.

There’s a simple answer though really. I could just move with him. It’s a logical thing to do but…I have no desire to live in West Virginia. I never planned to move away from home. Sometimes this place bugs the hell out of me but I love it. It’s where I was born, where I was raised. I want to stay here.

I want to be around my family and friends. I want to be able to come visit them when I feel like. I don’t want to move away…

I should just get over it though! Kai’s dreams are more important then mine. I mean he wants to be a damn doctor! He’s certainly capable of it. He has goals and dreams unlike me. All I plan to do is graduate, work and live a normal life. Pretty pathetic compared to him huh?

Letting out an aggravated sigh I make a final decision to talk to Kai about it later. I can’t just say I’m moving there with you. I should hint at it or maybe just ask him about it to see if he even wants me to.

…why the hell wouldn’t he want me to? He better want me to live with him that bastard! I will kick the living shit out of him if he doesn’t! I’m amazing, who wouldn’t want to live with me?