Pride

I flip open my phone at the sound of it vibrating. There’s a message from Kai that reads come over. I scowl. What makes him think he can order me around? I’ll go over if I want to go over! Not because he told me to…

I push open the sliding doors of Kai’s balcony. I’m only coming over because I want not, got it!? I peek my head inside to find Kai lying face first on his bed. Said boy turns his head at the sound of his sliding door closing. He smiles at me.

“What do you want?” I ask with a scowl.

“Just wanted to see you.” Just hearing him say that makes my cheeks warm up. Damn him. How can he say that so casually? We’re guys! If I hadn’t uh…felt what I had I would probably believe Kai to be a girl with the way he acts.

Scoffing, I walk in the direction of Kai’s computer desk. I love the chair he has. It’s perfect for spinning in so I do just that and ask, “Your parents wanted to talk to you about college today, right?”

Graduation has come so fast. Just a few months ago it felt like an eternity until we graduate but now it’s just around the corner. We only have four weeks to be exact. It’s crazy. I still don’t know what I’m doing but…to be honest…I kind of know what I want to do.

Kai speaking breaks me from my train of thought. “Yeah. My schooling is paid in full so we don’t have much else to talk about.”

They don’t have much else to talk about? That makes a shiver roll down my spine. A sickening feeling wells up in my stomach. I know I’m frowning but Kai stays silent in his position on his bed but I feel his eyes watching my every movement.

“Have you decided where you’re staying down there?” My hand comes up to brush my nose from nerves. I just and to move. I couldn’t sit still right now, not with so many thoughts running through my head.

Kai hasn’t brought up the whole moving thing and neither have I but I’m not waiting any longer. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately and…I don’t want to be separated from Kai. We’ve always been together. I’ve been saying this since the beginning.

Kai is the only one who can put up with me and I the only one who can put up with him.

I want to suggest moving in with him after he finds a place for the both of us but…if he hasn’t brought it up then maybe he doesn’t want to live with me? Maybe that’s going too fast? I mean my parents dated for three years before leaving with each other. Kai and I have been going out since December, that’s a little over four months!

Knowing Kai he’ll say yes to me suggesting moving in. He’s too nice to say no and possibly risk hurting my feelings.

“Um…I’ll be staying in the dorms until I can get my own place,” Kai replies nervously. He’s sitting up on his knee’s now, still watching me curiously.

A dorm. I don‘t like that. “With how many guys?” I just assumed he didn’t sign up for co-ed. I doubt his parents would allow it.

“There’ll be 4 of u-us.”

Still don’t like it. Not one bit. Kai will be down there, without me. He’s going to meet people and possibly make friends that…that could easily replace me. There’s a sting in my chest. I know what it’s from. I bite my lip and face Kai with a scowl.

Throwing both arms over my chest I think over whether I really want to say it or not. If I don’t and Kai leaves then I know I’ll regret it. Taking in a deep breath I push myself to say, “You know…I was just thinking that I could get a job after graduation and we could…get a place down there…together.”

I can’t look at him while saying this. It’s embarrassing. Kai and I practically already live together. We’ve slept over at each other’s houses all the time. We’ve…obviously seen each other naked. We’ve showered together so suggesting this shouldn’t be so hard. But it is.

Kai is silent for a moment. It only makes me more nervous so I start sputtering out, “It’s not like I’ll miss you or anything!” Yes I will. “It’s just that…you can’t do anything on your own!” And I can’t do anything without you. “Without me around you’ll probably get your ass beat for being so dumb and…and it’ll take forever for you to go grocery shopping and well…you can’t do anything without me around so it’d be best if I went along with you!” Because I don’t know what I’ll do without you.

A lump forms in my throat. The creaking floor boards tell me that Kai is making his way over to me. Out of the corner of my eye I see him kneeling before me. Kai’s hands reach out for my face. With both hands on my cheeks he forces me to look at him so I clench my eyes shut instead.

“You’re not just…saying that, right?” Kai questions barely above a whisper. This has me finally cracking my eyes open to look down at him.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Kai bites his bottom lip. “I wanted t-to ask you if you would move out there with me but I knew you had no plans to l-leave home so I didn’t want to make you feel bad or anything…I’d really love it if…if we got a place of our own.”

Finally I swallow the lump in my throat. That sickening feeling in my stomach slowly dissolves and I sigh out the air I had no idea I was holding. Kai smiles at my relief and I do the same. Running my hand through my hair I grumble, “You should have just asked me. You know I won’t do anything I don’t want to do.”

“I know,” Kai laughs. He stands, pulling me with him. One of his arms wrap themselves around my midsection while the other hand entangles itself in my hair. “Save up money quick. I don’t know how long I may last without you.”

Damn him. Damn him to hell! I’m blushing again and by the way he’s smirking I know that it’s obvious. I open my mouth to yell at him for saying such bullshit but his mouth shuts me up quick or well…it changed my angry thoughts to mush and I moaned instead of yelled.

Kai’s tongue explored every expanse of my mouth. I don’t know how long we kissed. It was long enough for us both to lose our breath multiple times. Gasping, Kai rests his head against mine. He’s smiling at my grumbling, “I really hate you.”

Kai kisses my nose and says around a chuckle, “I love you.”