Love the Way You Lie

Nick’s POV
“Staci can we please just go home now? I can’t stay here any longer.”- I said quietly, looking away. We have been at the hospital for about a week now.
“I can’t believe this all happened.”- She whispered as I wheeled her out. A tear strolled down her cheek as I closed her car door. I swallowed hard as I climbed in my side.
“Nick; before we leave can you please get that thing out of the car!”- She almost hissed.
“Thing?”
“The fucking car seat!”- She sobbed.
“I’m sorry; don’t bitch at me I’ve been with you since the accident happened! I haven’t had time to change anything!”- I snapped as I got out. I ran the seat inside and told the lady at the front desk to give it to someone who will need it. Still pissed off and heartbroken I headed to the car, got in and slammed the door shut. The long ride home was silent, and if I didn’t have to help her around…I wouldn’t. We got into the house and she didn’t even bother to say thank you, the last several days have been nothing but tears and small words.
“Well you’re welcome.”- I said sarcastically as I grabbed water out of the fridge.
“I’m not in the mood for your smart mouth Nick.”- She glared from the chair I set her in; she can barely walk by herself. Within the next week or so she should be able to, than I don’t have to carry her.
“Getting pissed off at me isn’t going to bring her back!”- I started crying again.
“I can’t do this; it hurts too much!”- She sobbed. I looked over to her, and seeing her in as much pain as I was in made my heart ache even more, which I didn’t think was possible. I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her.
“I know; I feel like I can’t breathe. I can’t believe she’s really gone.”- I sighed.
“Can we just go lay in bed for the day?”- She whispered as she clung to me.
“Yes; we can hide from the world today…but tomorrow we have to face this.”- I said softly as I picked her up and headed up stairs. We both cried ourselves to sleep as we held each other. Tomorrow is the day; no one should ever have to bury their child.

“Mia get back here!”- Staci laughed as I watched her chase after Mia in the park.
“You can’t catch me!”- Mia giggled as her curls bounced in her face.
“But I can!”- I smirked as I ran up and grabbed her. She smiled as I kissed her cheek.
“I love you daddy!”- Mia beamed.
“I love you too.”- I said in reply.
“Hey! What about me?”- Staci joked as I set Mia down.
“I love you too!”- She said as she hugged Staci.
“Well I love you more than life itself.”- Staci smiled.
“Same here baby girl; you mean everything to us.”- I smiled as we all sat down on our blanket.
“But I’m not really here; you know I’m gone.”- Mia said sadly. “You both know I’m not real.”
“Please don’t go.”- Staci started crying as Mia started fading away.
“You have to let go, I’m nothing.”- She said in a whisper. I went to reach for her, but she was gone. The pain and sorrow took over me in an instant and I began to cry.

I opened my eyes to see my room; just a dream. I wiped off the tears that I had cried while sleeping. I looked where Staci should be, but she wasn’t there. She can barely walk! Where the fuck could she go? I sat in silence until I heard her cries. I ran out the door and found her in the nursery. She was curled up in a ball just sobbing next to Mia’s crib. She had one of the blankets we bought for Mia grasped in her hand. I let out a sigh as I rubbed my forehead.
“Hun what are you doing in here, you’re making it harder on yourself.”
“I miss her!”- She cried; she sounded like she was in such physical pain…
“How did you even get in here; you shouldn’t be walking!”- I sighed.
“Don’t be mad at me! I wanted to be closer to her! Is that so bad?”
“Just let me take you back to bed.”- I said annoyed as I went to pick her up.
“Don’t touch me! I want to stay here!”- She cried.
“Fine, you’re hurting yourself!”- I spat.
“Well at least I care that we lost her!”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”- I growled as tears formed in my eyes once again. I knelt down to her and grabbed her face. “I love Mia more than you will ever know; don’t you ever say I don’t care. It kills me that we lost her, but I was trying to stay strong for you bitch!”- I yelled in her face; I felt so much anger I could punch something. But I pushed her face away, got up and left…knowing I needed to calm myself.

Staci’s POV
Mia is gone. She will never grow up and get married; she won’t ever speak one word. I won’t be able to see her take her first steps. I’ll never see her smile. I feel empty; like someone ripped every piece of me and threw it away. I carried her for 8 months and I won’t even be able to see her blink. It’s not fair! No one deserves to bury their child. The pain is too much; but I am the reason she’s dead. I should’ve never left this house. I should’ve listened to Nick…he probably hates me because I basically killed our baby. I don’t even deserve to be here, I would’ve rather died.
I didn’t sleep at all; I cried and thought about all the “could bes” instead. But I know Nick is hurting too and I am just making things worse for him. If I could take care of myself I’d leave him alone. I’m going to try to get myself ready for the funeral by myself. The only problem is I have broken 2 ribs, I’m recovering from a C-section, have a broken wrist and bruises everywhere…but the pain from losing Mia is far worse than any of that. I winced in pain as tried to bring myself to my feet.
“Fuck!”- I cried as I fell. I laid on the floor, trying to get the strength to try again.
“You need my help.”- Nick said sadly from the door.
“No I don’t; I don’t want to bother you.”- I sighed.
“Please just let me help you. If I don’t we’ll be late. The family…well my family is here.”
“Don’t start with the family shit.”
“I’m not starting anything. Can we make it through the day together? I know you still need me and I for sure need you. I’m sorry for what I called you last night; I just miss Mia and it’s so hard for me too.”
“It’s ok, and I was wrong as well.”- I whispered as he helped me up. “How are we going to get through this Nick?”
“Honestly I don’t know.”
“I can’t stand the thought of burring of baby girl.”- I cried as I clung to him.
“I know, I know…”- He said as a tear strolled down his cheek.