Status: Excited to work on it, if I get comments <3
Love the Way You Lie
CH.6
Staci’s POV
“Can we try to have another baby?”- Nick asked looking at me with hope. I felt like someone had stabbed me. The thought of getting pregnant and something going wrong terrified me. I couldn’t go through this pain again.
“Um.”- I said getting teary eyed. He walked over to me and squatted in front of me and the chair I was in. He took my hands in his and looked up to me.
“Don’t cry. I promise you that I don’t want to have another baby to replace Mia. I think it will help us get back to the place we were in, and I know we both wanted more than one child. I love you so much and I want to make another baby with you so bad. We can be amazing parent, I know it.”- He said before kissing my hands. I’m just so afraid of losing another baby. I’ll go crazy if I do.
“Nick I love you too, but you want to try already?”- I said getting up and walking to the counter.
“Yes; I think it will really help us both. I need to feel close to you again. I miss your touch.”- He whispered. I turned around to face him. He looked in need of me. He slowly reached and caressed my face as a tear fell down my pale cheek.
“I mean you never went back on your birth control, did you?”- He asked pulling me closer. I lied as I shook my head no. He leaned in and kissed me passionately. I hated lying to him, but I don’t want another baby now. I just kissed back, pushing away my guilt as we made love for the first time in months.
It’s been almost a month and a half and I have still yet to tell Nick the truth. It haunts me every day we make love. He’s so gun-ho for baby, and our talks just about kill me with guilt. But I love that he’s been around more, he’s been so sweet…but I know I don’t deserve it.
“I think you’re pregnant.”- Nick whispered as he held me in his strong arms. “You have to be. We’ve tried A LOT!”- He chuckled.
“But sometimes when you try too hard for something…it doesn’t work.”- I sighed.
“Well I can try a lot harder.”- He winked. I felt a sharp pain in my chest as more guilt tore into me. “Baby are you ok?”- He asked as he shifted in the sheets. That word baby just gives me chills because of my guilt.
“I’m fine.”- I lied…again.
“Well I’m going to make us some breakfast. You look tired; I’ll bring it up to you.”- He smiled before kissing my nose. He got out of bed and went to walk out the door, and even though I felt terrible I couldn’t help but laugh at him.
“Nick.”- I giggled.
“Yeah?”- He said turning around, making me laugh more.
“I think you should put you’re boxers on.”
“Oh my god…”- He blushed. He ran to his side of the bed and quickly threw them on.
“Nothing I haven’t seen before.”- I chuckled as I sat up, wrapping the sheet tightly around me.
“Well that’s true; I’m sure you would’ve loved to see me naked all day.”- He said as he leaned on the bed.
“Maybe.”
“Maybe!?”- He gasped and frowned.
“I’m kidding; are you going to the studio later?”
“Yeah but not for another hour or so…have you ever thought of going back to your dance studio? I know you love to dance, you don’t have to give it up.”
“I know…maybe I’ll go by today.”
“I think it will make you happy, and all I want is for you to be happy.”- He smiled.
I ended up getting ready after we ate; I wonder how Devon has been doing…and all my students. Nick offered to drive me, but I figure if I wanted to leave early or late it’d be easier if I had my own car. I took a deep breath as I walked into the place I had worked so hard for.
“Oh my god!”- Devon screamed as he ran up and hugged me. “I missed you babe!”
“I missed you too, I missed this place. Hey guys.”- I said as I looked around at all my old friends.
“Please tell me you’re going to dance again. You can’t waste your talents any longer.”
“I know. And I’m surprised you don’t hate me.”- I whispered as he dragged me to the back.
“I could never hate you. I figured you wanted to work on things with Nick and I don’t blame you at all for what he did. I’m sorry I haven’t called, but I’ve been busy with this place. I need your help; the kids need your help. They miss you too.”
“Well I’ve been working on some stuff in my head and I could show them today if you don’t have them working on something already…”
“I think we will all love you see what you have.”- Devon smiled.
With that I showed them all I had left in me. And honestly I still had it. I felt so happy at the end of the day, and I realized I have to have this in my life again. It makes forget my worries. Nick texted me and said he’s going to be a little late so I decided to take Devon up on his offer for dinner.
“I really missed all of this.”- I said as I picked at my food.
“Well I’m glad it put a smile on your beautiful face…now eat!”- He chuckled.
We finished eating and just chatted about the studio and future plans.
“So tell me this whole Nick situation. Can I come over again?”
“Yeah you can; he was just drunk. We where both in such a bad place.”
“Are you guys doing ok? I feel like you’re hiding something.”
“Well he wants to try for another baby, and we have been getting along very well.”- I sighed feeling my guilt again.
“I’m glad to hear you two are better, but you said ‘he wants to try for another baby.’ You don’t?”
“I mean I want kids, but I’m just so scared of losing another baby. Devon you don’t understand. If I ever have to deal with that pain again, it will kill me!”- I started crying. He pulled out his wallet and threw cash on the table before taking me out of the restaurant. We walked to his car and got in as my tear continues to fall.
“Shhhh, it’s ok. Did you talk to Nick about it?”- He asked as he wiped my tears away.
“No, he was so happy to start trying that I lied to him. I even told him I was still off my birth control…”
“Staci!”- He gasped.
“I know I’m a horrible person! He thinks I’m pregnant because we have been’ trying’ for a month! I can’t tell him; he’ll hate me!”- I sobbed into my hands.
“You are not a horrible person! Plus I don’t think he can hate you.”
“Well if I was him I’d hate me!”- I cried as I felt my phone vibrate. I wiped off my tears and answered.
“Hello?”- I sighed.
“I need you home as soon as possible. It’s important.”- Nick said quickly.
“Is everything ok?”
“No. Just get home; now.”- He said before hanging up.
“Can we try to have another baby?”- Nick asked looking at me with hope. I felt like someone had stabbed me. The thought of getting pregnant and something going wrong terrified me. I couldn’t go through this pain again.
“Um.”- I said getting teary eyed. He walked over to me and squatted in front of me and the chair I was in. He took my hands in his and looked up to me.
“Don’t cry. I promise you that I don’t want to have another baby to replace Mia. I think it will help us get back to the place we were in, and I know we both wanted more than one child. I love you so much and I want to make another baby with you so bad. We can be amazing parent, I know it.”- He said before kissing my hands. I’m just so afraid of losing another baby. I’ll go crazy if I do.
“Nick I love you too, but you want to try already?”- I said getting up and walking to the counter.
“Yes; I think it will really help us both. I need to feel close to you again. I miss your touch.”- He whispered. I turned around to face him. He looked in need of me. He slowly reached and caressed my face as a tear fell down my pale cheek.
“I mean you never went back on your birth control, did you?”- He asked pulling me closer. I lied as I shook my head no. He leaned in and kissed me passionately. I hated lying to him, but I don’t want another baby now. I just kissed back, pushing away my guilt as we made love for the first time in months.
It’s been almost a month and a half and I have still yet to tell Nick the truth. It haunts me every day we make love. He’s so gun-ho for baby, and our talks just about kill me with guilt. But I love that he’s been around more, he’s been so sweet…but I know I don’t deserve it.
“I think you’re pregnant.”- Nick whispered as he held me in his strong arms. “You have to be. We’ve tried A LOT!”- He chuckled.
“But sometimes when you try too hard for something…it doesn’t work.”- I sighed.
“Well I can try a lot harder.”- He winked. I felt a sharp pain in my chest as more guilt tore into me. “Baby are you ok?”- He asked as he shifted in the sheets. That word baby just gives me chills because of my guilt.
“I’m fine.”- I lied…again.
“Well I’m going to make us some breakfast. You look tired; I’ll bring it up to you.”- He smiled before kissing my nose. He got out of bed and went to walk out the door, and even though I felt terrible I couldn’t help but laugh at him.
“Nick.”- I giggled.
“Yeah?”- He said turning around, making me laugh more.
“I think you should put you’re boxers on.”
“Oh my god…”- He blushed. He ran to his side of the bed and quickly threw them on.
“Nothing I haven’t seen before.”- I chuckled as I sat up, wrapping the sheet tightly around me.
“Well that’s true; I’m sure you would’ve loved to see me naked all day.”- He said as he leaned on the bed.
“Maybe.”
“Maybe!?”- He gasped and frowned.
“I’m kidding; are you going to the studio later?”
“Yeah but not for another hour or so…have you ever thought of going back to your dance studio? I know you love to dance, you don’t have to give it up.”
“I know…maybe I’ll go by today.”
“I think it will make you happy, and all I want is for you to be happy.”- He smiled.
I ended up getting ready after we ate; I wonder how Devon has been doing…and all my students. Nick offered to drive me, but I figure if I wanted to leave early or late it’d be easier if I had my own car. I took a deep breath as I walked into the place I had worked so hard for.
“Oh my god!”- Devon screamed as he ran up and hugged me. “I missed you babe!”
“I missed you too, I missed this place. Hey guys.”- I said as I looked around at all my old friends.
“Please tell me you’re going to dance again. You can’t waste your talents any longer.”
“I know. And I’m surprised you don’t hate me.”- I whispered as he dragged me to the back.
“I could never hate you. I figured you wanted to work on things with Nick and I don’t blame you at all for what he did. I’m sorry I haven’t called, but I’ve been busy with this place. I need your help; the kids need your help. They miss you too.”
“Well I’ve been working on some stuff in my head and I could show them today if you don’t have them working on something already…”
“I think we will all love you see what you have.”- Devon smiled.
With that I showed them all I had left in me. And honestly I still had it. I felt so happy at the end of the day, and I realized I have to have this in my life again. It makes forget my worries. Nick texted me and said he’s going to be a little late so I decided to take Devon up on his offer for dinner.
“I really missed all of this.”- I said as I picked at my food.
“Well I’m glad it put a smile on your beautiful face…now eat!”- He chuckled.
We finished eating and just chatted about the studio and future plans.
“So tell me this whole Nick situation. Can I come over again?”
“Yeah you can; he was just drunk. We where both in such a bad place.”
“Are you guys doing ok? I feel like you’re hiding something.”
“Well he wants to try for another baby, and we have been getting along very well.”- I sighed feeling my guilt again.
“I’m glad to hear you two are better, but you said ‘he wants to try for another baby.’ You don’t?”
“I mean I want kids, but I’m just so scared of losing another baby. Devon you don’t understand. If I ever have to deal with that pain again, it will kill me!”- I started crying. He pulled out his wallet and threw cash on the table before taking me out of the restaurant. We walked to his car and got in as my tear continues to fall.
“Shhhh, it’s ok. Did you talk to Nick about it?”- He asked as he wiped my tears away.
“No, he was so happy to start trying that I lied to him. I even told him I was still off my birth control…”
“Staci!”- He gasped.
“I know I’m a horrible person! He thinks I’m pregnant because we have been’ trying’ for a month! I can’t tell him; he’ll hate me!”- I sobbed into my hands.
“You are not a horrible person! Plus I don’t think he can hate you.”
“Well if I was him I’d hate me!”- I cried as I felt my phone vibrate. I wiped off my tears and answered.
“Hello?”- I sighed.
“I need you home as soon as possible. It’s important.”- Nick said quickly.
“Is everything ok?”
“No. Just get home; now.”- He said before hanging up.
♠ ♠ ♠
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