Love the Way You Lie

Staci's POV
I'm so glad Caleb was nice enough to rush us to the hospital...and I don't blame him for not staying. As much as Nick hurt me I couldn't help but worry. He's my husband and I still love him. The doctor explained to me that his sugar was so high from the alcohol that his body shut down. He should be ok and awake, ready to leave soon, he just shouldn't drink any more. But I'm afraid it's too late for that, he's turned to alcohol and I know the stress from me made him drink. Now I don't know if he's to the point of addiction, but he very well could be. 
"Staci!"- I heard Joe say from behind me. 
"Hey Joe. Thank you for coming."- I slightly smiled as I got up to face him. 
"What the hell happened to you!?"- Joe asked.
"Aren't you here for Nick?"- I said avoiding his question. No one in his family or mine knows about our struggles. 
"Yes, but you told me on the phone he'll be fine. Now what happened to your cheek, and why are you so dirty?"
"It's a long stor..."
"I've got time, so sit back down."- He ordered. 
"I slept at Mia's grave. I just wanted to be close to her."- I sighed. 
"That doesn't explain your cheek. Did Nick do that to you?"- He whispered. My eyes grew watery as I looked away. 
"Staci..."
"I don't want to talk about this Joe!"- I whispered/yelled. 
"I had a bad feeling after Mia died. You two haven't done anything with any of the family. I should have known. How long has this been going on?"
"We fought right after her death for a while until I agreed...well lied to him about wanting another baby...he pretty much hates me know and turned to alcohol again."- I said in tears. 
"He can't hate you. But did he really hit you?"- Joe whispered as he gently touched my bruise. I could only nod in response as more tears streamed down my dirty face. "It's so hard to believe, but he's had anger issues since he was little. He does loves you though. I just don't think you should stay with him, I don't want to see you hurt."- He sighed. 
"I deserve this all though. Joe it doesn't matter who tells me what, I feel responsible for Mia's death. I feel so guilty; and getting Nick's hopes up for another baby was just cruel. But at the time I didn't want to hurt him...and that's all the lie did. It basically killed him. I'm the one that deserves to die, Mia should be here!"- I sobbed hysterically. 
"Staci this all happened for a reason. I know you don't believe that now, but it's true. You are still here for a reason. You know deep down you aren't responsible for her death. It was an accident. A horrible accident; caused by some ass hole on drugs! I know what you told Nick was supposed to be for his own good, but maybe this is a sign you two are meant to be. You guys love each other, both maybes it's too much...I mean look at how you guys created Mia."
"It's just all karma Joe. I took Nick from Miley and god took Mia and Nick from me. It's not fair, I can't handle this anymore! Maybe you're right. Maybe Nick and I shouldn't be together. As much as it pains me. I don't want to have him suffer any longer."
"I'm so sorry Staci. Look I'm here for you. How about you stay with me for a while?"- He said after hugging me tightly...he knew it would be pointless to keep fighting with me. 
"Nick won't like that. You're his brother, and remember how mad he got when you first hit on me? It sounds like more drama."- I sighed. I do need to get away. I made our relationship toxic. I love him too much to make him deal with me. 
"He doesn't have to know, and I just want to help. Nothing more; I promise."- He said before hugging me again. 

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"Where the hell are you going!?"- Nick yelled as soon as he stepped out of the car. I was hoping to avoid this. Joe told me to go home and grab the things I needed before Nick got home from the hospital. 
"Nick stop yelling, you just got out of the hospital."- I sighed as I set my bags on the sidewalk. He slammed the cab door shut an walked closer. He was still fairly weak, but still stronger than me. 
"So you don't visit me at the hospital and now you're leaving me?"- He hissed. "It's bad enough that you've been lying to me for a month!"
"I brought you to the hospital for one and you don't even know what's gone on because you were to drunk to remember!"
"Pick up your bags!"- He yelled. 
"I'm leaving Nick, we hurt each other too much..."- I started crying. 
"But you're hurting me more by leaving!"
"Nick I'm saving you by leaving, I'm saving myself. You said terrible things to me. You did horrible things..."
"Staci I was drunk! I know you lied but..."
"Nick you hit me! Being drunk was the problem! I lied, I get it. But I did it out of love. I didn't want to hurt you...and I did. Still you shouldn't have done what you did...and the things you said to Mia at her grave. It's simple psychology Nick. Your id comes out when your drunk and tells how you really feel. You resent me. I resent myself too, I blame myself enough for her death...I can't take this anymore. I have to go."
He looked at me with the most confused and hurt look on his face. 
"You don't remember slapping me do you?"- I asked as he stepped closer. He shook his head no as he reached to tuck my hair behind my ear. He lightly touched my tender bruise. Tears filled his eyes as he shook his head no. 
"I'm so sorry. I can't believe I'd ever stoop that low... I love you so much. Please don't go."- He begged. I looked down as we both cried. 
"I have to Nick, it's better for both of us."- I said as I picked up my bags and walked away. 
"But I need you!"- He yelled as I opened the car door. 
"I screwed things up enough. It's done..."- I quickly got in the car and drove away looking in the rearview mirror watching him cry. My heart burned, but I know I had to do this. However, I do love him, and probably always will.