A Lot of Potential

The past three days have been harsh. I've felt sick to my stomach, not bothering to even get out of bed and I won't eat. I've pushed Alex away, resulting to more problems with me. I couldn't express how scared I was to him. Instead I bottled everything up on the inside, fearing if I let him in, it'll all come out.

I laid in the bed for three days straight and he never left my side. I was still having trouble processing the reality that my father was gone. Dead. Dead from a killing disease that he did nothing about. He let it get to him. Why is what I couldn't figure out. Why would he let it kill him? Was he that sick of his life? Did he think of it as a blessing? Why was the only word that ran through my mind.

It really upset me when I was told he had cancer. It hurt worse that he kept it from my sister and I. My sister hasn't been able to be contacted. Ella told me she ran off to Vegas with her best friend, Cat. It hurt to know that she just left me. Even though I was married to Alex now and doing my own thing, she left.

They held the funeral for him yesterday. I was completely dreaded it. Just a couple weeks ago everyone was gathered for a lovely event, now it's completely different. Death. Everybody hates death. I didn't want to go, I just wanted to stay here at home and cry. I didn't need to listen to people apologize to me for my loss. It was a tragic thing.

I felt the bed stir on the other side, turning my head slightly to see what Alex was doing. He started to dress quickly, turning to see me staring. A small smile parted on his lips, causing my heart to skip a beat. "Love?"

"Hmm?" I quietly hummed, turning my body all the way around to face him.

"I have a interview to do. Would you like to come with me?"

"A interview? For what?"

"A band interview." he lightly laughed, walking to set on the edge of the bed next to me. "I'd really love it if you came." he said, touching my hand.

I considered it. I needed to get out of the house and do something to get my mind off of things. And if I was left alone, God knows what I may have done with myself. I nodded, pushing the sheets off of my legs. I stood up, stretching my sore muscles before I attempted to get dressed. I put on a pink button-up tank with a pair of ripped skinny jeans, deciding to match Alex and wear my converses too. I walked into the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror. I looked like shit. I had dark bags under my eyes and my hair was a mess. I turned on my straightener to get hot while I attempted to decent myself up by putting on some eyeliner.

Alex did his usual routine while waiting on me: sitting on the counter, staring at me. He claimed he was 'admiring my beauty.' There was nothing beautiful about me today. I sighed heavily as I tamed down the little curly ends of my brown hair. It laid flat to my face, making me look more worse than I already did. I got angry and threw the hot flat iron in the sink, grabbing a hair tie and pulled the mess into a ponytail.

"My hair isn't working today." I took a deep breath, admiring the way my hair bobbed when I moved my head.

"You look fine." he smiled.

"Quit lying."

"You do." he shrugged, sliding my bangs behind my ear.

I didn't bother to argue. "Alex, can I ask you something?"

"Anything you wish, my love."

"Why do you stay?"

"What do you mean?" he raised a eyebrow.

"Like why do you stick around? Don't I drive you insane with my emotions?" I sighed, hoping I didn't upset him.

"I stay because I love you." he stuck his tongue out at me. "You don't drive me insane. You make me feel needed and loved."

"Oh."

"Honestly babe, before we started to date, I didn't believe in love. But that night you told me you loved me for the first time, I knew immediately that I felt the same." he smiled, cupping my face in his hands.

"I honestly didn't believe in it either. You showed me what it felt like and I loved it."

"I called your bluff, huh?" he smiled, grabbing my hands as he bumped our foreheads together. "Look, I love you more than I can express. I can't describe how lucky I am to have someone like you. To get to marry my first love."

"Don't you have a interview to get to?" I smiled. "I love you too. Always."

"Always." he said back, hopping off the counter. He grabbed my hand and yanked me towards the door. "It's almost nine and we're going to be late." he laughed as we rushed to the driveway. We got inside the Cadillac and he started the journey to wherever the band's interview was at. His phone started buzzing and he pulled it open to answer it, telling someone that he's running late and he was almost there.

We arrived at a park with tons of children and people there. He pulled me down a sidewalk towards a pond where Jack, Rian, and Zack were sitting on the ground at. Matt was there, standing tall and angry looking. Alex approached cautiously, preparing himself to get yelled at. "Hey fags! Who missed me?"

"You're late Gayscarf. Be late for a interview again, i'll cut your dick off." Matt threatened, turning to a short black haired girl that I didn't notice standing next to him.

"Thank you so much for getting this interview Matt, it's really going to help me with my journalism class." she said, gazing at Alex.

I looked up at him, seeing him purse his lips. She was apparently someone he knew. I knew I would find out later, so I didn't bother. All four of them crowded on a wooden bench, leaving the interviewer and I the ground to sit on. Before I sat down, I felt Alex grip my wrist, pulling me into his lap. I sat there with my feet awkwardly running into Rian's legs. Alex ran his hand up and down my back. I laid into him, resting my head on his chest, hearing his heart thud repetitiously.

"Okay, lets start Melanie." Rian clapped his hands together, looking at the small girl.

"Okay. How did the band form?" she asked, waiting for someone to talk.

"I met Jack when we were in the eight grade and we started to play guitar together. When we went into high school, we met Rian and shortly after, Zack. Then we all started to jam together." Alex said, receiving nods of agreement from his band mates.

"Tell me about your EP, Put Up or Shut Up"

"Our EP was recorded last summer." Jack said blankly, causing everyone to laugh. "I really like our EP."

"Like Jack said, our EP was recorded last summer and was released when, Alex?" Rian talked, turning to face Alex.

"September 14th."

I listened to them talk for the last thirty minutes. Answering questions that I already knew the answer to. The meanings behind the songs, which I knew everything. I may have knew a little more than I should know. But I guess that's what happens when you're married to a rock star.

Once it was over, Melanie gathered all of her paperwork, shoving it into a tiny backpack. She asked for a picture with the guys, handing her digital camera to Matt. I stood there behind Matt as he quickly snapped the picture, handing it back to her. I stared off at a tree, not noticing Alex's tall figure approach me. "What the hell are you staring at?"

I closed my eyes, opening them back up to look at him. His hair fell perfectly into his face and his chocolate brown eyes were shining. Enough for me to bite my lip and ignore the feeling to jump his bones right then and there. "A tree." I casually answered.

"Don't hug it. Hug me instead." he laughed, pulling me into a hug. "Are you ready to do something else with our day?"

"Like?"

"I dunno." he shrugged. "Maybe you could assist me with drinking a large grape slushy."

"I could probably do that." I smiled. He nodded, taking my hand in his as we started to walk down the sidewalk. He got us a slushy from a vendor that was off of the sidewalk. We walked to the swings on the secluded area of the park. He sat down on a swing, pulling me into his lap, handing the slushy back and forth to get a drink.

"Worst thing about slushies are that they turn my teeth purple." he smiled.

"I know! Then it's harder than hell to get it to come off!"

"I'm glad you came out with me today."

"I'm glad I did too." I shyly said. "I could spend the whole day with my amazing husband rather than lying in bed crying."

"I don't like seeing you upset." he pursed his lips, looking down at our intertwined fingers.

"It's hard not to be. But I do need to be happy for you." I smiled. "Only you."

"A happy Haley makes a happy Alex." he laughed, kissing me for what seemed to be forever. "I love you."

"I love you too." I giggled, taking the slushy from his available hand. I took a large drink, giving myself a brain freeze. "Ow!"

"That's why you don't take big drinks, dummy!"

"Oh shut up." I rolled my eyes, touching his neck with my hand that was freezing cold, due to holding the slushy.

"That's cold! No!" he swiped my hand away. "You better learn to sleep with one eye open, Mrs."

"I don't need to do that when you're always asleep before me."

"Dammit. You're so sassy, you know that?"

"Me? No. You're the sassy one, Alexander." I laughed, shaking my head. I turned to see a girl who looked to be at least eleven years old approach us with a small baby girl in her arms.

"Hi, um, aren't you Alex from All Time Low?" she nervously asked.

"Yes I am." he smiled at her.

"C-can I get a picture with you, please?" she asked, setting down the little girl. I stood up from his lap, taking the slushy away from him.

"I apologize if I have purple lips." he joked. "Haley, love, would you take the picture please?"

"I shall." I smiled, taking her digital camera from her. He bent down to her level, smiling, as I took the picture.

"Thank you, so so much!" she grinned as I handed her the camera. She picked the little girl up and smiled at her.

"She's so cute." I giggled at the small blue eyed-blond haired child.

"Thank you." the girl said, dashing away with the child.

"Congrats, you ran her off by being a pedo!" Alex laughed from behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist as he pulled me back to the swing.

"Oh shut up." I rolled my eyes, hugging onto him.

"You do come in handy for a photographer. Do you think you can share me with my fans for a while?"

"No, you're mine." I giggled, kissing his cheek. "I'm kidding, I suppose I can. But not for too long."

"I don't like sharing you, but I have to." he gave me his puppy dog face, making me laugh again.

"Poor baby."

"It's tough." he rolled his eyes, resting his chin on my shoulder.

"Alex, can I ask you a question?" I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat, prior to asking the question that crossed my mind.

"Anything. Shoot."

I folded my hands over my flat stomach as I tried to think of a way to ask it. "Alex, can we have a baby?" I quietly asked, looking up at him to examine his expression. He stayed relaxed and his eyes met mine.

"Soon." he said, letting a smile form on his lips. "This spring would be the best time for us."

"This spring?"

"Yes, baby, this spring." he laughed, kissing me.

"Why this spring?" I raised a eyebrow, a little confused by what he meant.

"Because, you'll be closer to being out of school. Then you and I can be together all the time, and I can protect you and that precious baby you're carrying."

"Who said I was going to school?" I smiled cockily at him.

"You are going."

"But Alex," I whined. "why?"

"Because I am your parental supervisor and you're going, young lady." he said, trying to sound strict.

"Whatever. You're just my easily-seduced husband." I rolled my eyes.

"Psh." he shook his head. "What randomly brought up the baby question?"

"I dunno, seeing that little girl caused it and I sorta thought back on what my father told me right before he died.."

"And what was that?"

"He said that he hoped we would have children and you'd give me a little girl." I quietly said, biting my lip, trying to hold back tears.

"Who said we'd be having a girl?" he laughed, wiping the tears that flowed down my cheeks. "Don't worry, baby, we'll get it soon."

I nodded, resting my head on his shoulder. "But why so late?"

He swallowed the lump in his throat, suddenly getting nervous. "Because honestly, I don't think I'd be the greatest dad. I think I'm a little too immature." he sighed. I could tell he wasn't trying to upset me.

"Oh."

"I want to, but I'm scared that i'll fuck up."

"Alex, you're great father material." I laughed lightly. "Remember that day when the twins started crying and I couldn't calm Soph down and you managed to calm them both down?"

"Yeah." he smiled a little, scratching the back of his head.

"You'd be the greatest father." I whispered, kissing his soft lips.

"Soon." he replied. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Oh, we leave for tour in the next couple of days." he grinned, pressing his lips to my forehead.

"What?" I raised my eyebrows. "Where did the time go?"

"I don't know." he shrugged. "Wasted in Fiji I guess."

"What day exactly?"

"Friday morning, then we travel on to Dallas, Texas." he smirked. "I'm so stoked for this."

"I know you are." I shook my head with a smile on my face. "Then when do I return back to Baltimore?"

"Actually, we'll be returning home together."

"Then how long will you be home?"

"From August 14th to the 28th." he sighed. "Then we're off to L.A. to work on the new album."

"You're not gonna be able to be with me on my birthday, will you?" I frowned, looking at my feet.

"I totally will be. It falls on a Thursday and I'm pretty sure you could skip a couple days of school to come hang with me in the big city of Los Angeles." he winked as he ruffled my hair. "Then I'll be back again at the end of September for a while, then we start to tour again."

"Promise me to play Baltimore shows?"

"I can most definitely do that." he smiled, running his lips into mine. "It won't be as hectic as it sounds."

"I hope you're right about that.." I said, taking a deep breath. I didn't know how I could manage without him..