Special K

The silence lay in the atmosphere, sharp and thick- coating the space between Hayley and I. She’d never been good at saying goodbye; she was just used to leaving without a word- or a brief, written explanation on the back of a shopping list. This occasion was rather unheard of to her and I made no attempt to try and ease the situation. I was reminded of all those times she had left me by myself, and my mind felt a bitterness towards her that urged me to allow her to dwell in her awkwardness and indecision.

The rest of the apartment was busy with activity; everyone attempting to find their belongings that had drifted around the apartment over the last few days and packing them up in large rucksacks. Being far from a tidy lot, they were running late simply because everything seemed to find an unlikely place to hide in. Jon was rooting round in the cupboard- looking for a baby blue watch they’d bought from a beach stall; I could see the corner of a certain fluffy pink blanket hanging from the top shelf.

Personally, I’d kept everything in my case. Despite being told to ‘make myself at home’ I didn’t like the idea of losing my stuff- or someone else accidently taking it, which was no doubt the case with the others. Besides; I could make myself at home when they were all gone. It would be mine then, not theirs.

“Look after yourself, Gus” Haley finally muttered, her eyes looking downcast and far from meeting mine. Hayley Lawrence was finally saying goodbye.

“My name is Gustav” Ouch. My voice sounded bitter and resentful- I wanted her to leave. I loved her, she was my favourite sister (and my only) but god was the scene so painfully missing from the rest of my life.

“I’m sorry, Gustav. Just... don’t get in trouble, if you need anything call the number on the fridge, and please, have fun, okay? I love you” I nodded at her words and she sighed, standing and pressing a kiss to my forehead. God, I’d be smeared in red lipstick. I muttered a small bye- which would ultimately be one of the last things I’d say to her for months. I’d regret later, I knew. Another sigh graced the room and she picked up the straps of her bag, sliding it up her shoulder and leaving the room- calling Jon to hurry up.

I rubbed my fore-head where Hayley had kissed it, my index finger coming away tinged with a light red. God, why did she have to wear lipstick? It was so inconvenient- I’d just had a shower and everything.

“Gustav?” I jumped in my seat and quickly tore my eyes from my fingers to Jon- who had caught my attention. Without me knowing, he seemed to have crossed the room and was crouching down on the floor next to where I sat on the sofa.

“Have a nice time. This city’s big and the dreams are bigger. Good luck” and in an exact re-enactment of my sister, Jon kissed my forehead and made a hasty get-a-way, leaving a trail of ‘goodbye’s’ and other grumbled words in his wake.

Jon just kissed me.

Okay, on the forehead but still. A guy kissed me, and it felt kind of nice.

<Gone>

Unpacking. Removing my things one by one and placing them around the room I had claimed as ‘mine’ for the next year. Well, a year and a bit, since it was four weeks until the next academic year started. But small details didn’t matter.

Not at all.

I pulled out folded piles of my clothing, hesitating only for a moment as I turned to the crème wood dresser tucked away in a corner of the small room. I’d chosen the second smallest room- I didn’t like big, empty rooms, and I didn’t like completely tiny rooms. Besides, this room was around about the same size as my room back home- though less crowded by furniture. The walls were painted a dark grey (Agreeably not the most tasteful, but Harvey argued that before everyone had arrived, it had been a store room and tasteful decorations wasn’t something high on his list) and the floor was a dusty grey also. Despite the lack of colour- I liked it. In fact, it may have been the lack of colour that brought that about. As mentioned before, I wasn’t a colourful person and having an obnoxiously colourful room would in no way reflect me and more likely inflict headaches on me.

I split my clothes into piles of jeans, t-shirts, jumpers, boxers and socks before slipping the shirts into the first draw (Then proceeding to separate v-necks from vest tops, polo shirts and button ups), the jeans and boxers went into the second draw, and socks along with two cardigans took up the bottom draw. I hung the four other jumpers I owned on the metallic hangers on the back of the door, making sure not to drop anything because well, I liked my clothes.

Once finished I stood in the middle of the room, looking around once more. I was at loss of what to do- it was just me now, alone in the city. No-one else was going to drag me out to a beach, or to a mall- I made the choices. But I couldn’t think of a single thing I wanted to do today. I felt tired and lazy- so I’d leave prowling galleries to another day, I had plenty of time.

Maybe I could find a coffee shop somewhere close by, and get a drink and maybe... yeah, just a drink would be fine. I slipped from my bedroom and into the main apartment, scouring the floor for my shoes, I swear to god if anyone had taken them-there. Checking my pockets for change as I went I pushed the pumps onto my shoes and locked up the apartment. Still feeling kind of odd about the fact that the apartment was now mine for a extended period of time. Clucking my tongue against the roof of my mouth I pushed in my earphones and started my trek downstairs.

If home is where the heart is,
Then we’re all just fucked.
I can’t remember, I can’t remember.
And I want it so bad I shoot the sunshine into my veins.
I can’t remember,
The good old days.
And it’s kind of funny...

Trek may have been a bit of exaggeration- the apartment was only a few floors up and the stairs were easy on the feet, fitted with carpet as they were. The challenge seemed to lie within the busy streets. Bustling men and woman didn’t have time to leave space for a hesitating newbie, instead charging me down with a somewhat renewed vigour and taking some kind of pleasure in hassling me. Nevertheless, I pursed my target of a coffee shop and weaved through the crowd of obnoxious Americans- peeking my head up every now and then to glance at shop signs across the street in case I missed anything. I caught sight of a lot of typical American looking diners- not the sort of place I was looking for (The coffee there was apparently appalling). I searched on, making a mental map of all the twists and turns I made as I finally ducked into a relatively busy street- though a lot less crowded than the streets prior. Its side were lined with old-fashioned looking buildings- though it was obvious that they were not that old (Just constructed that way, to create surrealistic feeling), they still brought about a peaceful feeling. The warm colours joined with the cobbled ground and, for the most part, ignored fountain of a horse made the street remarkably English looking.

A cosy looking coffee shop was nestled right at the end of the street- bordering where the practical buildings started up again, all glass and shiny metals. I liked the modern look, but coffee was something better enjoyed in a certain environment- an environment remaining unachieved by formal plan designs. The shop was made from bright red stone and a grey sign hanging from the floor above it declared it ‘Rose’s’. A particularly feminine name, true, but it fit the brightly coloured bricks and well-polished glass windows rather well. I hesitated slightly, almost get knocked over by a large man in a suit, and decided it was worth a try to look- not a lot could be lost on my behalf scoping a place out.

With another glance around the out-of-place street – which mainly consisted of a large hotel and a few private business quarters – I made my way over to Rose’s. Surprisingly, I didn’t collide with anyone else on my way to the glass pull door and managed to enter the shop without incident. It smelt strongly of coffee and sugar when I entered, the sudden attack on my sense of smell caused me to pause and take in the full lot. A tiny pit of rose, baking and tea lingered behind the two most prominent scents. I glanced around the shop- taking in the profiles of the three other customers sat at little wooden tables. An auburn haired girl curled over a book, a blonde haired man in a suit tapping his pen right against the table and a dark haired youth sipping silently on a steaming mugging, vacant eyes staring into nothing. Only the tapping pen and whispers of conversation stemming from the backroom penetrated the syrup-thick silence.

Satisfied with the inside, I slid up to the counter and tapped the little brass bell sitting on the edge of the wooden serving counter. The shop was as quaint on the inside as it was on the outside. Cream walls decorated with far away picture of bridges and beaches, the floor made up of plastic mahogany coloured tiles and modern glass orbs filled with sugar slick cakes and buns. My stomach longed for a taste. Ignoring it’s greed I concentrated on the stick-thin girl with tan skin coming from a door to the side. She sidled up to the counter and smiled lopsidedly at me.

“How can I help you?” Her voice was smooth and a little hint of smugness seemed to tint its simple construction. I glanced back in my mind, trying to remember what I had been in the mood several minutes earlier before I spotted the sickly sweets trapped in glass containers. Coffee. Strong, black coffee.

“One black coffee, please” She nodded, her unusually bright blonde hair bobbing with the movement. I handed over a few dollars and she cashed them, handing me back my change on a hand of white, claw-like nails. Now my order had been made, I relaxed onto the counter a bit more, letting my weight lean against the shining side. The girl – whose badge indentified her as Maisie – fetched a cup and platter, bringing it towards the coffee machine. She took out an empty implement and bent down to grab a pot that said ‘FRESH COFFEE BEANS’. She began to even out the amount into the implement.

Judging by the increasingly strong smell of coffee beans, I had found my new place in which to reside.

Home, sweet home.